So on this Valentines Day (aka Singles Awareness Day) I chose not to 'get down'. Valentines Day has never been a favorite holiday of mine. No, not because I suffer from chronic singleness ha ha! But it always seemed like a made up holiday. As I've gotten older I took on the tradition of going out with my single friends or my friend's whose significant other maybe in another state or something or other. I used to call it an Anti-Valentine's Day celebration. I started it the year I turned 21 and have been doing it every year. Ive had two boyfriends since but have always celebrated this tradition with friend's instead of celebrating with my boyfriend.(Yea so they said they weren't into Valentine's Day either
So I chose to use this day as a day of reflection. Reflecting on the kind of relationship I'd want to have with a man and reflecting on the love I already receive from God (notice the pictures in each blog reflects the kind of love I have with both). So I wrote a blog on my way to my second job (yea ya girl be GRINDING) and decided to post it once I got home in the evening. But as I was procrastinating before I got on blogger I read this article named"Is this What Romance Looks Like?" (http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=17405323). The article was a series of short stories written by different women who have REAL love. Not the candy, teddy bears, and cheesy vday date love; the kind that only comes around once a year. But REAL love.
The kind of love that stays in bed with you all day and rubs your stomach when you have your eriod P. The kind of love that leaves you little notes just so you know they are thinking about you. The kind of love that still finds you beautiful when you have boogers running down your nose from a bad cold. Or when you've gained 20lbs.. Or you have the runs from eating bad Indian food (Who loves Chicken Tikka Masala? I do!!)... Not the superficial kind that loves you in the sunshine but not in the rain, that doesn't understand why they have to meet your friend's or family.. Or the kind that has the need to be told in five minute intervals that you love them for them to actually believe it.
The REAL stuff. The stuff with substance. The kind of love that comes so close to the kind of unconditional love that God bestows on us everyday. The kind of love I want. Yes I admit it I'll even say it again: The kind of love I want. The kind of love that I crave. The kind of love that I am waiting for. The kind of love that I know I'm capable of, but have yet to meet someone worthy of (Yea I said it.. To my Xs sorry. One of you was close but... no cigar...?). It's a shame that kind of love isn't everywhere.
I have always been a goal-oriented person. I am the kind of person that will crack a joke at the drop of a dime but I take myself so seriously. I want so much for myself and I make it happen regardless of the odds stacked against me. Professionally I have been steadily rising in the ranks of my career. I'm the ultimate Independent Woman. So much so that people in my family couldn't believe when I revealed how much I want a husband and family. I want it ALL. But I refuse to settle. I don't want the superficial love or the I think I love you, or god forbid 'Girl you know I got love for you'. I want the REAL stuff. And I deserve it and not for any other reason beyond the fact that that's what I give. Ain't no half stepping. When I say I love hard it's no joke; I go IN. And I need the same in return. I can't settle, I just can't. It's not in me to settle. I've tried (Ooooo I have tried so hard...) and it doesn't work for me. So I'm prepared to wait.... As long as it takes. Basically what it all comes down to is... I just wanna be loved.
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