You Reap What You Sow

I know you've heard the term before. Its from the good book; the bible. At its simplest form it means: you get out what you put in. Its very true though. I've been thinking about this a lot lately in terms of relationships. Not just romantic relationships but relationships on the family and friendship levels as well. Even at work; it is WHO you know. If you don't invest in these relationships you can't reap a good harvest.

As previously stated I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Its a new year and we all tend to become reflective. What went right the previous year as well as what went wrong. I noticed the other day that I have 1600+ facebook friends. As most of you may have guessed I'm a member of a Black Greek Letter Organization (Sorority for those of you unfamiliar with the term BGLO). So a lot of these friends are Greeks I'm networking with but beyond that the majority are people I know very well. I'm a social butterfly and making new friends is something I love doing.But I found myself thinking of the numerous relationships I hold not just on fbook but off; and if I was investing into these relationships. Sadly I wasn't. I thought off all the people I call best friend, good friend, etc. and some of these folks I either wasn't fulfilling my role as friend to them or vice verse. So I decided to start investing in these relationships. Be it the ones that I wasn't doing my part or the ones where the other person was lolly gagging I made it my business to sowing into their lives.

Now I want to point out that this isn't something I began this month. We tend to reflect on the year before the ball drops but I wait until the ball drops to get to work. So this is something I have been working at for the last couple of months. I've restored some cherished relationships and realize others have reached their expiration date. The thing is though....some of these people seem oblivious.

They don't realize you reap what you sow. They expect to put nothing/bare minimum into the relationship and expect to reap the benefits of work unseen. Someone I once considered a very good friend of mine will receive an invitation to my wedding but she won't be apart of the wedding party. (No I'm not engaged... YET! Princess cut for 2010 Owwwww! Speak it into existence people). I jokingly made a comment to this friend about this and she became indignant like how dare I even joke about that. When in my head I'm thinking... Why would you expect that when you don't invest in our relationship?

I tell you all of this as a cautionary tale. Many of you may find yourself with one or two less friends this year. And when I say friend this could be someone in your family or someone your dating. Friendship is the foundation of ANY relationship and if you don't sow into these relationships you may find yourself with a very patchy harvest.

Have you found yourself in a similar reflective mode? What does your harvest look like? Or maybe you see a couple crops you will be letting go into the next season in your life? And how do you deal with relationships that you have to let go?

I Had To Date Them

So I wrote three blogs on the train this morning... But I heard this not to long ago and HAD to post it. Ladies Gentlemen please listen and listen HARD...

I Had To Date Them (Sermon) - Bishop Jamal Bryant

Confession Friday...

Since I'm confessing I might as well admit I almost sent in a application for 'For the Love of Ray J' to fulfill some childhood crush. I quickly came to my senses and deleted the email that was sent to me by a friend. I don't watch for the Love of Ray J. I saw one episode weeks ago cut off the TV half way through the show and got on my knees and thanked God that I didn't send in an application. I can't under or overstand for that matter WHY people put themselves through this madness. These 'celebrities' are trying to reawaken their careers and these contestants are looking for their 15minutes of fame.... But it doesn't seem worth it. That aside, I couldn't help but hear about how Danger 'Smashed the Homies'. At first I had NO idea what people were talking about but after reading a zillion statuses on facebook, BBMsngr and blogs (one of which gave me the idea for this entry. Shout out to SingleSisterSpeak.wordpress.com) across the web I realize what happened. And I realized I too... had smashed the homies.

Let me explain. Back in my pre-celibate days I 'messed around' *see physical intimacy with a smidgen of actual dating and a pinch of affection* with a guy for a couple months. I genuinely liked dude and would have contemplated seriously dating him except I was still in school and relationships were not my priority. I was focused on graduating but I still appreciated a date, a phone call, and... u know, every so often. During this relationship the guy and I hung out whenever I went home for a break and once he even came to my school. But we weren't serious. I still dated other guys without getting physical with them. I had a rule of having at least 2-3months between someone I decided to get physical with. If I could help Maury letting me know the paternity of my future children then I was taking it! But I digress...

One guy I was seeing I actually liked a lot. I found myself really feeling him and started cutting off the other guys I was dating. I was enjoying my blossoming relationship and the dude I'd been messing with had been demoted to just a friend. I was doing great until I found out from a good friend of mine that she'd seen the guy I used to mess with and the guy I was currently dating run into each other and engage in conversation at a party. Just my luck they were homies....

So after a mini heart attack I called up dude I was dating and mentioned that I noticed he knew dude I was messing with. Told him we were friends and we had dated at one point as well. Dude I was messin with said they weren't friends so much as good associates. I breathed a sigh of relief and continued conversation as though it wasnt of any importance. Later on when he became my significant other (SO) dude I used to mess wit did try to holla and I let him know I was currently in a relationship and with someone he was familiar with. I didnt tell him who the guy was until we after we broke up. It was the one and only time *that I know of * that Special smashed the homie.... Those degrees of separation seem to get smaller as I get older. We really are all connected... *shudder*

So please people do not misunderstand. Smashin of the homies can happen to anyone. Don't be so quick to judge. Someone with hoe-like tendencies like Danger and a self-proclaimed Good Girls like myself canget hit with a doozy from time to time. I'm not perfect and prior to my actually applying the word of JC to my life I could never be lumped in the same category as Danger but it did happen to me. I've confessed... you got something for me?

30 Weeks 3 Days 22 Hours.....

Sometimes music can take you to a place you wish you weren't. Some songs make us happy, energized, mad, sad, angry, etc. Its a blessing and a curse. I mentioned once that I was able to get through finals in undergrad and grad school with the latest soca music on BLAST. I'd even jump up in intervals and bust a wyne. It energized me and kept me up and alive through late night study sessions. And other times it can pull me so low. Once I sat in my big queen size bed and bawled like someone died after hearing No Air (Chris Brown and Jordan Sparks), Heaven Sent (Keyshia Cole), and I Need You Bad (Jazzmin Sullivan) back to back. Seriously it brought me to a place I wasn't even aware I could go. I was in a relationship at the time and I think at that point I realized I was going to have to let dude go. Now I think back to those nights and I laugh. I laugh at me crying and I laugh at me bustin the wyne.

30 Weeks 3 Days 22 Hours...........

I've always been aware of the kind of power music can have over me. Its why I believe that dancing around my living room with the Beach Boys' Good Vibration on at full blast when I'm sad is the ultimate pick me up. Its why I was such a good dancer when I performed. I let the music move me. Granted when I'm on the dance floor at a party I let it do the same thing but its not the same as being on stage. (FYI I don't go out to meet anyone I go to get my dance ON under the lights base PUMPIN But I digress...). Its why I limit the amount of negative music I listen to.

30 Weeks 3 Days 22 Hours........................

Some songs though... Some songs have me realizing how human I am. Having me realize how week the flesh can be. Having me wish I had my Pastor on speed dial. Have me hiding things from myself. Have me wishing I deleted people's numbers out my phone. Have me reliving memories I long wish I'd forgotten. Have me thinking I'd be having a little more to ask forgiveness for come Sunday.

30 Weeks 3 Days 22 Hours.......................................


Song is only 1 minute and 48 seconds long but it moves me so. I won't do anything I'd regret immediately after but... Lord... I am human (and a child of god) and all I can think is...

I miss sex..... **Bites lower lip**

30 Weeks 3 Days 22 Hours and counting..................................