Happiest New Year

 

I used to wake up and end every day in prayer and thanksgiving...Some where along the line of 2013 it became sporadic and stopped all together. I became so bogged down in the silly details of ever day/week/monthly things. I cried a lot and prayed a little. I'm ecstatic to see 2013 go as it's been one of the worst years of my adult life.

Financially, Relationships, Professionally, Spiritually, etc. I was tested on so many different levels. At the end of the year I was able to come out on top but dammit if I wish it didn't have to go down the way it did. Things I said I would never do I did. Things I said I would get better at I didn't even try. 2014 isn't about starting anything new really... it's all about me going back to what makes me great. Back to dance. Back to writing. Back to the gym consistently (fell off last month) and eating right. Back to valuing myself the way God does. Walking in the fact that I am beautifully and wonderfully made.. Focusing on my future and ultimately MY happiness.

Because going back to whats important allows me to catapult myself into my future. See 2014 isn't about 2014 for me. 2014 is about everything that happens after the year is over. Everything that happens after today, tomorrow, and next week. Sowing seeds in good ground and seeing the vision I have for my life come to fruition. Paying my last student loan payment, Getting married and having beautiful children. Becoming a licensed Therapist. Inspiring others to become a better version of themselves daily near and far. Maybe even teaching. 2013 tried to kick my butt and the experience left me realizing that I need to do a better job at protecting whats mine: my destiny. I'm begrudgingly grateful and willing to kick my own butt now to ensure my future is actually something to look forward to.

Only way I'm going to be able to do that is by also going back to praying first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Remember that Christ is my foundation and my ultimate cheerleader. 2014 is the year I don't just show up..but the year I show out. I was challenged, threatened, emotionally and financially beaten in 2013. In 2014 I plan on spitting in 2013's face and saying "That's all you got?! Now watch me work!"

Happy New Year!!

Same old Song, Same old Me...

I absolutely adore Pandora. It gets me through my work day and allows me to stay on a treadmill for more than 15mins. While at work I usually have my Beyoncé play list going hard. The awesome thing about this particular play list is one minute I'll be listening to Beyoncé's Countdown and then next thing I know the Temptations My Girl comes on then I take a phone call and David Crowder Bands' How He Loves Us comes on then I blink and Hootie and the Blowfish's Time is on and I'm in my office screaming "Turn that ish up! That's my jam!". Pandora listener's there is power in 'liking" particular songs..

Its my most eclectic play list and I absolutely adore it. It always plays just the right songs at just the right time. I'll be pissed off at the boo (Yes.. I have a boo now...More on that in another post on another day.) and Anthony Hamilton's The Point Of It All comes on. Or I'll be feeling under appreciated at work and Daniel Powter's Bad Day comes on. This Beyoncé play list...It just.... it gets me!

So when I started having the itch to write again I wasn't surprised when Nine Days' This is The Story of a Girl seemed to play all day everyday. I actually changed the name to this blog after hearing it again for the first time after years. This tune was the source of many teenage jam sessions in my living room. The song lyrics don't actually speak to me but man is it a catchy tune. What actually drew me to change the name of the blog is the song title..

As awesome as I am perceived to be, as confident, as sexy, as smart, as fabulously as I am known to others.. Deep down I'm really just a girl. Underneath all my bravado I am shy, scared, doubtful of myself and confused sometimes. Don't get me wrong I am happy and I am still awesome sauce but I'm also still human. At the end of the day I feel like a girl. I wake up I try my best to be the best. And sometimes I pass and sometimes I fail. So as I embarked on my 30th year of life grabbing adulthood by the reigns and riding the wave of ups and downs of 2013 I'm reminded time and again that I am just a girl. My inner child is alive and well. Itching to write and share her stories. So to my loyal followers who have been wondering where I've been. I'm back. And to new readers....This is the Story of a Girl. And that Girl is me.

2011 has been crazy as all get out interesting...I've neglected the blog in ways that I can't even attempt to apologize for. But as I've noticed this tends to be the way I've lived my life for awhile. I've neglected some friends, some family, even neglected myself. So much so that I've spent a better part of the year sick. (If its any consolation..I must say I have gotten a lot out of my health insurance plan this year...Boo-YOW!). Its a way I have lived my life for the last 15 years to say the least.


 My schedule has written more checks that my body couldn't keep this year more than any other. And my writing has suffered. My health has suffered. My relationships have suffered. When your a jack of all trades you can never been a master of none..


So I'm going to go ahead and take the advice of family and friends... I'm going to just go right ahead and.. take a seat... See how the other half lives... Sleep a little more, read a little more, dance a little more, cook a little more, play with my niece/nephew/God daughter a little more, write a little more.. Shoot maybe I can take a seat long enough to start writing that book. At this point the door is wide open for me to really just relax and do the things I love and not just the things that I feel I'm needed for. Sometimes in life we need to understand that though we are needed by many there is one who needs our love and attention far more... And that's ourselves. *kicks off shoes and relaxes her feet*

Do you have any resolutions for 2012? Maybe they're the same ones from 2011..? Find yourself doing too much as well? Any ideas on great ways to take a seat...and continue sitting?

Done and Done!!

Today I bought my first car. Words can't express how I feel today. I left the dealership singing a song I made up that sounded a little like: I got a car I got a car. I'm thinking if I get Swizz Beats to do the track and Nicki Minaj in the hook I can go triple platinum... Forreal though! Anyways...

I can't explain how good I feel right now. I feel like I've arrived. Like I've accomplished a great feat. Like I've finally got to that place where I can say: "Ok Special; they were wrong you could do it." I know some of you are probably looking at your screen perplexed like really? Is it that serious? Yes; it is that serious.

It's more than just a car. It's the culminating of all the hopes and dreams I had for my self as a young adult. I vowed to be someone I could be proud of when I was 21 and all that I've been able to accomplish coming from where I'm from is a blessing. Since setting these goals for myself I have struggled but have checked off each and everyone.

I've:
*Moved out my mama's house
*Strengthened my faith
*Excelled in my chosen career AND loved every minute of it
*Obtained my masters
*Have a banging apartment
*Own my own car.

It's more than just: "I got a car!". I've officially become independent. The underlining theme in the goals for my 20s was to become independent. To learn how to take care of myself before I got married. Growing up I saw far too many women I knew and loved have to learn after being kicked to the curb how to take care of themselves. Now don't get me wrong: I can't wait to have a man take care of me and I him. I look forward to submitting to my husband because he WILL be equipped to lead. But... I wanted... no NEEDED to know I could take care of myself before I could completely let go and follow. And I've managed to get them all taken care of... with 2 years to spare. Now that I've accomplished the goals of my 20s I look toward to working on the goals of my 30s.. time to get married and make it cool to be barefoot and pregnant! Owwwwwww!


What goals have you set aside for yourself in the last decade? Have you been able to accomplish them all if any? Whats holding you back? Whats been pushing you forward?

Walking Song...

I. Will. Trust. You. I. Will. Trust. You. I. Will. Trust. You. As I slowly woke up this morning these words continued to play over and over in my head. I began to say them over and over as I began to gain full consciousness. I then realized I forgot to turn the TV off the night before. I realized it was a Gospel song playing. Throughout the fast I had also decided to fast from secular music as well. This hadn't been the first time I'd forgotten to turn off the television and been awakened by the sounds of praise. But today is different. Today is day 21.
Today I bring my fast to a close. Today I reflect on my 2011 thus far. Today I can say: I DID IT! Last time I fasted I cheated. I cheated not once, not twice, but three times. I ended that fast lighter. Not just physically, but emotionally, and mentally. But I wasn't lighter spiritually. Yes I felt closer to God; but I also felt some guilt for not sticking to the fast. So when I decided to embark upon this fast a couple months ago it was very important for me to stay true to it. To feel that closeness with Him with out the shame of not embracing the fast completely.
I was able to finish this time without a heavy heart. The one thing that kept me was the realization that all things happen in time. I didn't spend my fast wondering how I would get to the end of the week. I focused on getting to the end of the day. I have a tendency in life to worry about tomorrow instead of focusing on the journey of the day.
One thing I know I will take with me is learning to trust God more. Learning to let Him get me through the journey of the day and focusing on living in His word TODAY. As I've been doing the fast I've been following a 21 Day fast on the bible app on my phone and today I noticed day 13 hadn't been checked off. I'm positive that I read it but I reread it anyway again today. It was definitely needed. I realized it is exactly what I needed to take the lessons I learned in the last 21 days with me through the rest of the days of my life. 2nd Peter 2 out of the Message Bible is going to be my walking song for my daily journey. Thank you Jesus.

Allow me to reintroduce myself....

****If you didn't already know I'm on Twitter! www.Twitter.com/SometingSpecial Its a great opportunity to get up to date blog info as well as get a taste of the Wisdom Wednesday if we're not friends on facebook****

When I initially created this blog I wanted to remain anonymous. I wanted to be referred to as 'Special' from my pen name Somethin' Special. I preferred that my offline life remain removed. Well as smart as I am I went ahead and would blast new blog entries on my facebook page. So it didn't surprise me when people started commenting and included my name. When I first saw it in the comments section I had a couple seconds pause where I contemplated deleting the entire comment. I didn't; but I REALLY wanted to. You see outside of the opportunity to remain removed I really never cared for my name.

When I was born my mother was going to name me Wendy... What she was thinking I will never know (No disrespect to the Wendys out there). I just don't believe I ever would of been a Wendy. My actual name, Sonia, isn't that much better; or so I thought. The one God parent that I do know gave my mother that name. I don't know where he got it from and I never asked. I actually found out the story of almost being a Wendy when I gave a rant to my mom about how un-Sonia-like I was.

You ever met someone and found out there name and the two just don't seem to fit? Well that is how I always felt about my name. I'm fun, and silly, and intelligent, a little eccentric, deep, and a host of other billions of contradictions and Sonia is just so... bland. Like what were they thinking! Didn't they realize? Didn't they take one look into my cute,chubby, baby face and see I was destined for greatness? Sonia just would NOT cut it. I actually was going to change my name when I got older but couldn't find anything that fit. By the age of 21/22 I gave up and decided to just live with the name I was born with. It didn't hurt that I met someone who absolutely loved my name.. Flattery can be persuasive!

By the ripe old age of 27 I've met a plethora of people who love my name. Not just Sonia but my first and last name (No I am NOT putting my last name on here..lets not get crazy). So much so that I began doing my own research... and I was astounded by how perfect a name for myself it was. Walk with me...let me school you on all that is Sonia...

Sonia is the Greek variant of Sofia. Sofia, I learned this past weekend, means a broad knowledge of things human and divine; a highly developed sensitivity that is based on experience and principles. It also means wise. In Hindi it means Golden. Which in case you didn't know means: exceptionally valuable, advantageous, or fine (Now I knew I was fine but now I have proof. #ImJustSayin!!), having glow vitality; radiant. In Mayan Civilization it was the given name for their main wives. It was a sign of respect, intelligence, and that she was a virtuous woman. Anyone with the name was considered strong, independent, and wise.

I say all this to reintroduce myself to you. My readers, my lurkers, my friends, my family. I'm Somethin' Special also known as Sonia. To some affectionately known as Sony or even Sone. THIS is who I am. This Sonia is who I grew up to be. The person I was destined to be. The person I am still en route to becoming. The greatness that I knew was in me was right there in my name and as much as I fought it fate won. Lets hope I continue on this path to fulfill all that was put forth when I was named. Lets also hope that through this reintroduction I can maintain reading material that live up to the name...

How do you feel about YOUR name? Do you think it fits you? Have you ever researched it? What does it mean? What name do you think you should have?

Maybe We Can Be Friends...

At the ripe young age of 27 Ive had my fair share of relationships. Relationships with family, relationships with friends, and of course relationships with boys(I've had A LOT of those. Not one with a man yet...but I'm working on it). Throughout my years and relationships with these people I've been loved, used, inspired, betrayed, taught, and a host of other verbs that have shaped me into this fine young lady you read before you (I rocketh majorly). I've always been a believer that (wo)man does not grow in isolation. As the name of my 3rd grade social studies book says: People need People.

I think the most important thing I did learn was that relationships are work. They are tough jobs that sometimes have sucky pay and benefits. But when you work for the right people... the experience can change you to the very core of your being. Sometimes for the good and if you don't watch yourself sometimes for the bad. I heard a quote once that went something like we aren't what happens to us but how we react to what happens to us. So you have to be mindful of all that you go through. Having the right heart attitude is very important.
But before you even get to all of that you should be mindful of the people you keep around you. The people you pour, and allow to pour into your life. After hearing the list of a good friend of mine I decided to create my own. Its a list of the characteristics I need in someone I have a relationship with. Notice I said need and not want. I'm the first person to admit I think I know everything. As human beings we think we know whats best for us but unfortunately what we want may not entirely be what we need. Also notice I said someone I have a relationship with. This isn't a list of for just the people you want to have an romantic relationship with. This goes for all people that I want to have a relationship with. That means people I'm friends with from work, school. or the nearest coffee house...or krispy kreme donut shop since I don't drink coffee. Unfortunately family doesn't necessarily have to abide by this list as you can't shake some of 'em even if you wanted to. But I digress... Here goes everything:

*Love me NOT my gift- In this day and age far too many people are opportunist. They are looking to find out how you can bless them. I'd much rather people like me for ME and not what I can do for them.

*Understand the call of God on my life- This is pretty self explanatory.. I live to please God and not man if you not with it you can kindly keep on moving..

*Encourage; not discourage- I need people around me who are going to lift me up and not try to bring me down. The crabs in a bucket mentality is not needed around me.

*Reciprocal- I'm a firm believer hat you should not ask for what you cannot give. I try my absolute best to be a good friend to the people I have in my life.. I think its fair to ask the same in return.

*Respect- Seriously in this day and age we are teaching folks to disrespect one another far more than we teach them to respect each other. I for one don't need any disrespectful folks in my circle.

*Benefit of the doubt- I need the people in my relationships to give me the opportunity to state my case before they assume I've done something wrong. If you hear something out of doors about me come speak to me before you condemn me.

*Understand that I'm a private person- I LOVE to have 'me' time. I need those around me to understand that sometimes... I just like to be alone. I'm a lot to handle at times.. even for me.. I like to just get alone and just BE

*Understands that I'm a open person- I LOVE being around people.. Haha I know after reading the last criteria your probably shaking your head.. But even though I love my 'me' time I love to give and draw on the energy of others. Yes I'm as comfortable in the center of the room full of people as I am off in the corner with a book. Its another part of me being me.

*Trust- Trust is the foundation of relationships... If I can't trust you I do not want you around me. That's it.. I need not say anymore.

*Dry shoulder- I'm not a much of a crier... but when I need a shoulder to cry on... I'd expect my friends to fill that space. If not.. what are you there for?

*Willing ear- I talk a lot (Have you not read one of my long winded blogs?) Sometimes I just need someone to... listen. Just to listen.

*Respects Boundaries- Boundaries preserve the respect in relationships. We could go back like shackles and ankles and I'd still need you to respect certain boundaries.

Now that you've seen my list what about you? What do you need (feel free to throw a want here and there) from the people you share yourself with.

New Beginnings

****if you haven't done so already follow me on Twitter: Twitter.com/SometingSpecial. I also have a column (A Word from Somethin' Special) in the Ezine MarshaMarie: The above average magazine for the above average women. Check out June's issue Love Jones: Relationships at www.MarshaMarie.com Get on the good foot and do the bad thing Owwwww!****


Why do I feel like I need to apologize to an old friend when I begin writing a new blog...? I know I've been in and out for awhile. Here and gone, vowing to stay more consistent. I bet if you didn't know any better you'd think I was a man (Ha! Couldn't help myself!)! But no I am sorry lots of happenings in my life in the last few months. Come..walk with me talk with me:


**Professional: I don't know if I've ever eluded to it or not but my boss is certifiably insane. Yes she is bonkers; I diagnosed her myself. She meets u and loves you and then decides your a horrible person and that your after her for some weird reason. No this is not my own paranoia I've seen her do it with 2-r other people before she started on me. I should of taken the hint my 2 months in when I noticed 3 other people held my position in the previous year and a half. Which is why it gives me great pleasure to announce I resigned from my job. My last day is next week and I may do cartwheels throughout the facility that day.

I truly consider it a blessing from God how it all came about. I was passively looking for another job when a sistergreek, my sandz, randomly hit me on BBM and I jokingly asked if her job was hiring. Turns out they were and the next day 2hrs after emailing her my resume I got called in for an interview. God is good ain't He?

Through a lot of prayer, faith, staying humble and more patient than I think I've ever been I was given an offer and I accepted. I start at the end of the month and I am truly excited about beginning this new phase in my life. It wasn't just the bonkers boss; I have outgrown my current position and organization. And the commute was a dooooozey! I'm a lot closer to home and it gives me more incentive to purchase my car. Who wants to be the first one to fill my tank? ;-)


**Personally: Well I know I eluded to the fact that I had a roommate who was pretty crummy. Well she is gone and I finally have peace in my home. My older sister is my new roommate and though that will take some getting used to I still appreciate not having that chick here. The apartment literally feels warmer and inviting. And trust that's not a bias a friend came over and confirmed it for me. Its just a peaceful air in the apartment...as a home should be.

I also have eluded to the fact that I'd been dating someone... Well yea I am. My Mr. X is now just my Mister. My first time dating someone I'd dated before. I'd always been adamant about not being one of those people that have yo-yo relationships. They just look silly, exhausting, and a big waste of time. Well I'm a believer in 2nd chances now...just not 3rds or 4ths and God forbid 5ths. Those numbers should only be in races and at thanksgiving o_O.

We've been dating for over 6months now and I don't regret my decision at all. As cliche as it sounds sometimes you do need to let some things go to figure out if its really for you. Growing apart is sometimes better than growing together. And God is not thru with us yet so we have the opportunity now to grow together.

That's the major changes in my life right now. I'm really happy about where I am right now. I thank God for everything he has given me. But do realize God will not give you anything you can't handle; that includes the good and the bad. So please believe I was tested several times before reaching this level in the last few months. But you have to believe and have faith that your prayers will be answered. Faith without works is dead...

What new beginnings are you believing in for your self, family, work? Are you walking in that faith? Being aggressively positive despite your circumstances?

#Dear Future Husband

So I'm not really great at the whole twitter thing (www.Twitter.com/SometingSpecial) I sign in read the updates maybe say something funny or enlightening and then forget to sign back in for a day or so. One thing I do like is the trending topics. They had one a couple weeks ago: #DearFutureWife and all the guys I follow were going in. Of course the women started tweeting #DearFutureHusband. I didn't jump on the bandwagon then but this week I've been updating my BBM status with mini-notes to my future husband to the delight of my BBM friends. I decided I'd do a mini post (Yayyyy finally not long winded! lol) and give you guys a glimpse into my future marriage. Some are jokes, some are sincere, all are worthy of my future husband's attention... Hope he's reading :-)

#DearFutureHusband Love me as if you like me...

#DearFutureHusband I make the babies you do the diapers....

#DearFutureHusband I will not be making dinner in lingerie... But I can serve it that way until Jr. is at a age where he can retain memories...

#DearFutureHusband I want to be a housewife.. P.S. we will need a maid and a nanny... possibly a per diem cook...

#DearFutureHusband I love how you make me feel safe...

#DearFutureHusband Thanks for pretending not to hear me hack while I brush my teeth in the morning....

#DearFutureHusband love is an action verb and loving you is my favorite activity...

#DearFutureHusband I'm sorry about putting in Jr. in ballet classes if he wins a future reality show because of his talent you can have 10% of the prize money...

#DearFutureHusband no we can't have a threesome...

#DearFutureHusband I knew you'd be my future husband after knowing you for about a month... and it scared me shytless o_O...

#DearFutureHusband we'll have such pretty babies...

#DearFutureHusband I love dancing around the living room to old school RnB with you...

#DearFutureHusband I pretend to be sleep when you finally get in the bed and I snuggle up on you...

#DearFutureHusband I promise to cut out at least two of my weekly activities and actually spend some time at home...

#DearFutureHusband if modern science allows I'd love to share the responsibility of bringing our children into the world with you.. I do one.. You do one... Its only fair.

#DearFutureHusband I realize how lucky I am that you haven't figured out how flawed I am just yet...

#DearFutureHusband If you've figured out how flawed I am by now please read fine print of our marriage certificate.. Your stuck with me... Love ya!

So there it is 5% of what my FutureHusband should know. I had so much fun writing this after reading some of the ones people posted on Black and Bougie (ShoutOut to OneChele) I figured I'd let you guys in on the fun too...: What are some things you want your Future Wife or Future Husband to know..?

First 7 Things

Most of you who don't know me in my life outside of the blog don't know but for the last few months I've had living arrangement issues. To put it simply my roommate was working my last nerve! We'd had a conversation about parting ways last September and these last few months as the departure date for her loomed closer our relationship has significantly soured.

This is someone I considered a friend at one point in my life. Some friends can't be roommates; its a fact and something I've understood since my years in undergrad. I've a slight case of OCD and LOVE playing hostess in my beautiful apartment. She on the other hand isn't as neat as I am and spends majority of her time in her room; and doesn't speak...ever. Well the situation came to a head in January and we've both retreated to our rooms. Leaving the areas we share, kitchen and living room (we have our own bathrooms), abandoned and lonely.

This didn't bother me so much until a few weeks later when I was cooking and cleaning in the kitchen and I had no theme music. I used to turn the TV on in the living room to listen to music while I was in the kitchen for an extended period of time. Unfortunately use of the TV in the living room was a casualty of my roommate wars. I grabbed my laptop and pumped up di volume. It worked for awhile but didn't feel the same.

As time progressed I realized I missed a lot of things about hanging out in these common areas. Well as her departure date is less than a week away I've formulated in my mind (and now on this blog) the first 7 things I'll be doing when these rooms return to their full level of functioning:

*Curl up on my new plush sofa and start reading The Lost Symbol By: Dan Brown

*Cook/Clean dinner with RnB Soul playing from my TV in the living room.

*Come home and catch up on some of my favorite shows on DVR on the couch.

*Make some popcorn and invite some friends over for movie night.

*Dance around my living room with reckless abandon.

*Cuddle and neck on my couch with my lucky dude.

*Invite some friends over for dinner and eat at my dining room table.

Some of the simplest joys in our lives for whatever reason we miss out on. Don't let these moments pass you by.... FYI: This post was posted after she moved and the first thing I actually did was go on a cleaning and redecorating spree.. lol The OCD in me I suppose...

Do unto others....

****So if you weren't aware as yet I have become a Tweeter. So Follow me! Twitter.com/SometingSpecial I also got bored yesterday and registered for Formspring. So feel free to go to the site and ask me a question I'll be sure to check it out. FormSpring.me/SexySony17****

Lately I've been feeling a tad unappreciated. By friends, family, even people I date (yes.. I'm seeing someone; no I'm not ready to talk about it yet at length but I digress...). It seems like people love an opportunity to hear compliments or words of appreciation; but they have an issue reciprocating it to those around them.

Now I enjoy a good compliment like everybody else but I also make it a priority to let the people in my life know I love and appreciate their presence by me. I'm the kind of person that sends random messages like "I think your really great", "Your put a smile on my face today", and even the occasional ecard (someecards.com has some great cards by the way) "Its comforting to know we're equally maladjusted". Things like the aforementioned quotes that set the heart a flutter and give you warm and fuzzy feelings.

I don't do these things because I want others to do it to me as well. I do them because I think its important for people to know and feel wanted and needed if they are wanted and needed by me. It would just be nice to have people make me feel the same way every so often; And not just when something is wrong and they need cheering up or a willing ear. I find way to often I am a dumping ground for my friends negative energy, it can become irritating. And not even a "Your the Greatest!" adds insult to injury.

Then there is dude I'm seeing. I read an article that men appreciate compliments just as much as women do. So I promptly sent him a message and ended it by calling him 'Handsome'. His response was a big cheesy grin and I felt good that I made him feel special. Since then I've continued to do so every so often and I feel like he truly feels appreciated and sexy and all that other stuff. But where is the love?! I was thinking about it this morning and I can't remember the last time I got a good ole fashion "Girl, u di bomb!". When we first started dating he would do it every so often and I got the warm and fuzzies; butterflies not bubbleguts. Now? The must I get is probably a daily hugging, kissing, or winking emoticom... *Insert blank face here that changes into half a smile* I do appreciate that I really do but I feel like I could do with some butterflies and warm and fuzzies again.

I've not stopped expressing my appreciation for my friends or my non boo but I do feel myself become increasingly frustrated that the appreciation isn't reciprocated every so often. I know they do appreciate me and want/need me in their lives but its nice to hear every once in awhile. *le sigh* So this is my open letter to them. My dear, well-meaning, idiot friends. I love you but it'd be nice to hear you love me too.

Do you ever find yourself feeling under appreciated? How do you combat it? Maybe your one of my idiot friends reading this: Get off the blog and go to someecards.com and send me a card you ra-tard!

Its That Time of Year Again!

****Ok... I've finally answered the million dollar question: To Tweet or not to tweet? @SometingSpecial Follow me!****

Lent is here.. (insert mix of cries of joys and groans of agony here). Some of you may not know that Lent began last week Wednesday; Ash Wednesday to be exact. Even before I was saved I practiced the tradition of Lent every year. If some of you remembered last year I gave up facebook/myspace/aim/bbm/gchat/ basically any forms of social networking. I was still blogging of course and was putting out entries every 5 seconds I had no outlet haha. This year though I have decided to give up the snooze button.

Yes I said the Snooze button. Anyone who knows me well knows I LOVE sleep. I don't get enough of it so the snooze button became my best friend. On average I hit it about three times a morning! On the very rare occasions where I don't have anyplace to be in the morning I walk up to take a afternoon nap. I have a comfy pillow top mattress and I just detest coming up from under the covers in the morning. So this is going to be a big sacrifice for me. But this is exactly what this time is about: Sacrifice. Its a time to learn what its like to do without something we think we absolutely CAN'T do without.

It is also about taking on something. I always struggle with this part of Lent as I am constantly taking on new things so I'm left struggling to find something else to do when Ash Wednesday arrives. After some thought I've decided to make sure my hands are painted. Again something most of you are left scratching your heads about. I'm not a very "girly-girl" I don't like shopping, mani/pedis, or spending hours in a hair salon. If I do paint my nails my fingers are probably clear because when they begin to chip I can never find time to redo them. Granted I do like what they look like afterwards but I always wonder when some women find time to have their nails done so regularly. So this Lent I am going to invest in myself. I am going to hit the stores buy some great colors and I am going to MAKE time to do my nails every week. Oh the joy...

Is anyone else devoting any time to Lent this year? What are you giving up? Taking on? And most important question of all: Any suggestions on fast drying nail polishes!

I Still Believe In Fairytales

So I just finished watching Enchanted.. I don't know if any of you have seen this Disney film but its actually not quite bad. It was pretty good actually. I DVR'd it a few weeks ago and actually only got to watch it this afternoon. The basics of the story is a cartoon chick is thrown into the real world after meeting Prince Charming whom she was about to get married to. Now in the real world she finds out Happily Ever After aren't definite. I won't spoil it for you by saying how it ends but its a Disney film so you probably already know.

To be honest I actually became a bit teary eyed watching the film. The film is wrapping up and I'm sitting there on my couch wrapped in what could only be called my "blankey" and my throat gets tight and my eyes start to well up. Not because the story was sad. But because one of the central themes in the story was that Happily Ever Afters do exist and its something I believe as well.

Yes big hard back tuff 26 year old Somethin Special still believes in fairytales. Growing up these stories were drummed into our minds. They told us we just had to sit and wait and some gorgeous man was going to ride up on a gorgeous horse and sweep us off our feet; make us his queen and we would live Happily Ever After. And then at some point we got older are told to wake up it can't happen. There is no such thing as a prince charming and absolutely no happily ever after. We should hope for a good 5-10yrs at the most get a prenup and always keep a side bank account because we are going to need it when we bounce out. As a matter of fact don't get married just date around awhile and best case scenario someone with some sense may live with you. Two very different extremes. But what about the middle?

What about a Happily Ever After not with Prince Charming but with the average guy who doesn't sing on cue and is a bit jaded? What about the early morning bad breath kisses, late afternoon arguing mixed in with a great makeup session kinda fairytale? The kind where you love fiercely and fight each other with passion too. The kind where you get spitting mad but know that your love is strong enough to get through whatever trial and tribulation your currently dealing with? I believe in that kind of happily ever after.

I'm not naive enough to think that Happily Ever After's aren't riddled with 'bad times' along with all those good times. But when did people stop believing that 'Forever' was the fairytale? Who started this horrible rumor that we shouldn't aspire to long lasting relationships anymore because there is no Prince, we are not Princesses, and we couldn't partner with someone to rule a kingdom? And why oh why did we believe them just as easily as we did those fairy tales we were fed as children?

I actually realized that I was amongst a small minority that still believed that kind of love existed after watching a movie with two girlfriends of mine. That was Up In The Air (another good movie by the way). Without giving out the movie there was a women in the film that kind of stepped all over the heart of one of the characters in 9 inch stilettos right when he began to think Happily Ever Afters do exist.

Now there are people like this women; men too as we all know. That wasn't what triggered my epiphany actually. It was the high fives of my two friends accompanied by the cheers and saying she was their new hero. Huh? Did I miss something? Why aspire to hurt I asked? They basically said hey love n life is like that and they'd prefer to be the ones doing it. My pleas that no one should do that and we should be aspiring to love one another actually got me the side eye. They just weren't buying the fairytale and would prefer to have fun and hurt others before they themselves got cut.

If you don't truly believe that kind of love exist outside of God then how do u expect to ever receive it? If you don't believe in Happily Ever Afters how are you ever going to have your own. Love is hard. Relationships are hard. Forever is hard. But the if you want it you have to at least believe it exist. So as I blink those tear away and cleared my throat this afternoon I proclaimed loudly in my apartment "I believe in Happily Ever Afters!" And whoever doesn't agree with me I respectfully say to you with a smile on my face "You can shove it".

I Met Someone

You ever happen upon someone randomly and know that your meant to be friends? Your spirit just takes to them and as you continue to converse with them your initial response is confirmed...? I know what your thinking and no it isn't a man! Lol

I was waiting for the bus in the rain this past Sunday and it was pouring out. I always have an umbrella in my bag but I was sure by the time I got to the bus stop the bus would be pulling up. It wasn't. I'd forgotten that when it rains the bus is always late. It was. I had a hood on and a fairly long coat so I decided to leave the umbrella in the bag since I was sure the bus would arrive right after I pulled it out.

As 5, 10, then 15 minutes roll by the fake feathers on the hood started to drip and my glasses were beginning to fog up. A young woman standing next to me offered to share her umbrella with me. For half a second I almost declined and just pull out my own but something told me to accept her offer. I smiled and graciously thanked her saying she must have noticed the fog on my glasses. We got a good laugh out of that and began to idly chat with one another.

Turns out she was also headed to my Church for the 1pm service due to missing the 1030. And as the bus came and we settled in for the ride we discovered we had a lot more in common. So much so that after awhile I informed her that we were obviously twins.

I tell you this story (especially my fellow sisters brown, yellow, white, etc.) because we need to be more open to the ones we meet in the street every day. Over the last few months I've met and become very good friends with 3 women not including the one I met this past Sunday.

Now I know a few people will be quick to remind me that some females are triflin and give it time and her inner she devil may reveal itself. This may be true; but I honestly doubt it. I've been a pretty good judge of character for awhile and her spirit is good. Granted no one is perfect and we all piss our friends off from time to time so I know I didn't meet an angel.

Every woman needs a couple good solid girlfriends. And there is nothing wrong with the friends we already have. But sometimes we hold on to those friends we've had for 15+ yrs just because they've stayed around long enough. We've out grown some of them while others have become a part of our families. That doesn't negate opportunities like this one for us to meet and make new friends. I read an article once where it highlighted the different friends women have: the travel buddy, the work friend, the friend who you've known since pre-school, etc. They also mentioned the new friend and stressed the importance of opening oneself up to the possibility of having one. I call them "new best friends".

Granted this young woman I came across may not be my new best friend. But something tells me the potential is there for her to become a good friend. I'm glad I left my umbrella in my bag. And maybe the next time your standing in the rain you should too. Ok I'm rocking dreads and I know my sisters with a perm are NOT feeling that so maybe not! But at the least smile at your fellow sister instead of ice grilling her and fronting like those shoes she has on aren't fab-tastic! She may just be your new best friend.

One Year Down

Every so often I go to HoneyMag.com and read their ezine. Its something I've done off and on for almost two years now. They have lots of articles and its where I first found out what blogs were. There were a few that I would check regularly; like A Belle in Brooklyn. There were a couple others whose names I can't remember. One in particular that I've thought about a lot in the last few days; was written by a woman somewhere on the west coast I believe and it was an OK blog. As I've taken more of a look at the blogging community I've read far more interesting ones but one particular post she did has captured my memory. She wrote a post about completing her 1st year of celibacy. Its probably at the forefront of my brain now because I too have a year of celibacy under my belt after this last weekend. I don't have a specific date as Labor Day marks the spot of my last game of varsity tonsil hockey.

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Accomplished? Eh I guess. Its just one year after the initial 3 months I hit my stride. Though in December I was going thru so much withdrawal I felt like a dope fiend. Excited? Mmmm... yea I'm that too I suppose. This is my equivalent to shouting it out on the roof tops. When I really sit and think about it... I'm just glad its over and now I'm rolling up my sleeve because I feel like I just completed the easy part.

You see I've gone without sex before; for much longer too. I didn't even lose my virginity till the ripe old age of 21 (to the disbelief of many and to this day many people STILL don't believe me). And though I enjoyed sex VERY much its not something that I couldn't go without. But for the past year I wasn't even dating anyone seriously and I didn't care too either. So there was no real temptation to deal with; minus some minor incidents. I have yet been faced with the opportunity to look sex in the face and say "Thanks, but no thanks". This year I've just laid the foundation.

This year I've been given that opportunity to come to terms with my celibacy. I was celibate for months before I even mentioned it to any of my friends. And even still longer before I could say it without shooting it out of my mouth like a bullet; just wanting to get it over with. I knew the weirded out looks and questions would follow my confession. I already knew how most of them felt about it as an X and I had given it a go before and they let me know then that it was ridiculous.

Now I look em square in the eye and remind them I'm celibate (I think some of them like to repress the memory of me telling them the first time so they tend to need some reminding). Friends that didn't know before that find out give me those weirded out looks I know all to well and I smile back. They ask questions and I answer with ease. And when thrown the sarcastic "Well good luck finding a man that way" I answer with unshakable faith in God to make the impossible possible. OK granted I need to remind myself of that one from time to time but motivation like bathing should be done daily; more than that on days when the heat is ON.

So as of right now I'm gearing up for the next round. The foundation is laid and now I'll be put to the test: dating. Telling a friend is different than telling someone who is interested in dating you. I've been told I have a body built for sex; curves in just the right places not to much and just enough(God blessed me with a great figure but it wasn't made for that). Imagine having to tell someone they won't be getting ANY of it until I've walked down an aisle with all white and a ring on. Ha! That IS the plan too you know. If I fall at some point before that happens I'll get back on and give it a go again.

But right now there is no looking back. I'm a year in and who knows how long to go and I am going to roll up my sleeve and push on. I know people who have 10, 15, and 30 yrs behind (please lord don't make me wait that long! Ha!) them. Its going to be a long (again Lord I'm just saying lets not make it TOO long) and interesting ride...

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Its been an interesting couple of months. I've been more retrospective than usual and so far I think I've been running a B+ average in Specialogy. Getting better as time goes by, stumbling and sometimes falling but maintaining focus on betterment due to a strong foundation. I've been doing so well in fact that I've been entertaining getting knee deep in the dating scene. As you well know I've been over my hiatus for awhile but I've kind of been floating around. I think that I'm good to explore my options. the first thing I shouldn't of done is tell my friends!



I've been blessed to have good people around me the majority of my life. Unfortunately some of them aren't to bright. I've noticed that my friends don't know the serious side of me very well. They aren't familiar with the relationship me. I can't blame them as majority of my life I've been single so they have only had glances of what I'm like when in a relationship. What I can blame them for is the asinine reasons I've been getting hooked up with people.




**He's Funny: a good friend of mine tried to play Matchmaker with me and a co-worker. They thought we'd make a good match because he was funny. I won't say I don't love a good laugh but I'm going to need more than funny. I ended up exchanging #s with this guy anyways to give it a try. Its been a little over a month and a half and I can say he has called me twice...maybe three times and has texted me a half million times. NO BUENO. From what little I've been able to learn about him we don't match very well and it left me wondering why my friend thought we'd live happily ever after. I've been told a time or two that my funny bone is very much in working order. People have even suggested I try stand up (SO not happening) but I am way more than a good punch line and so I expect more than that from the guys I date.




**He doesn't Drink/Smoke: If you didn't know already I don't drink or smoke. Most people who spend time with me find this hard to believe as they sometimes wonder if I'm under the influence (haha its funny cause its true). Truth is I have a natural high. A friend of a friend who knows this about me thought he should set me up with a friend of his who also didn't indulge in those activities. Now upon meeting said gentlemen I told both he and his friend that the fact that we don't drink or smoke doesn't mean its a match made in heaven. The Matchmaker replied that he knew I was a good woman and his friend is a good man so he knows we're right for one another. I decided to just give dude my card figuring I might as well give it a try. He hung around me the entire night we met and it annoyed the crap out of me but I was to nice to ask for my card back. Imagine my surprise when 2 weeks later I got no phone call. The next time I spoke to the Matchmaker I informed him he should leave it to the professionals. I received a phone call from dude that evening *insert exasperated sigh here*. Not only was the call weeks to late the conversation was entirely to dry. There was no spark and most of it was dead air. Now I don't dispute that dude may be a good dude with a horrible internal call clock but he isn't a good dude for me.




**He's Breathing. I truly love dating guys who are alive but seriously every dude with a heart beat isn't going to make mine skip one. I currently play phone tag with a ok guy. He works he calls and text occasionally. He can hold a conversation and has more than the required half a brain. But he is not for ME. As great as a guy could be doesn't mean he will be great for me. I can see him becoming a homeboy that I speak to once or twice a month but uhhhhh... I'm going to actually need a connection.




All of this just to say that my friends apparently suck at picking men for me. They aren't going deeper. Laughter is important. Being a good man is important. Being single is important. But geez people let's try to go a little deeper. If he is single, funny, and always opens the door for a lady that's great but you guys are going to need a lot more to go on than that!

Rose-Colored Glasses...

So I was watching So You Think You Can Dance last night in real time and needed something to do during commercial breaks. Usually I watch it on my DVR so I fast Fwd past the commercials. Since I couldn't do that I decided to do a little Blog-hopping and read a Blog by The FlyGuy about Lauren London. He had built in his head a happily ever after scenario and now that she is Lil Wayne's Baby Mama #? that won't happen. One of the comments voiced their disappointment in Lauren to even be associated with Lil Wayne and it struck a cord with me. Since when did who we mess with dictate who we are enough to illicit disappointment?

I ask because I was told a few weeks ago that I disappointed someone who liked me for some time when he found out I messed with a mutual friend a few years ago. This mutual friend has a reputation for sleeping around. I of course didn't sleep around and apparently my stock fell when he found out.

Now of course I was offended for several reasons. 1. How did he even know I used to mess with dude? Why was it the business for anyone to pass along to whomever? 2. Why did MY stock fall because HE had on rose colored glasses? 3. Since when did who I mess with dictate who I am? Now I've had several follow-up conversations with this friend and I believe the air is clear but I felt the need to put this up so the rest of you wouldn't fall prey to this kind of thinking.

In no way shape or form am I saying who we deal with has no bearing on our character. But understand that you don't know the dynamics of a persons relationship with someone for you to judge them. Also we've all at some point or another had some kind of relationship with someone who has a checkered past (maybe even present AND future too). Either way judge not for you also will be judged.

To shed some light: this person I messed with I was aware of his reputation. He had become very known around the city business wise and some of that has gone to his head. But I'd known this person for YEARS by this time and got to know him WAY beyond his reputation of the last few years. We are all multifaceted human beings and are made up of so many different layers. This guy is no exception. His reputation undoubtedly eclipsed his true character. But it wasn't the core of who he was (or is for that matter). And why do people always assume the negative anyways? If I'm supposed to be this great person doesn't my friendship to this guy show there maybe more to him? Why did it have to mean there was less to me?

The problem I see in this whole scenario is not in my relationship with this guy; it lies within the relationship with the guy who was disappointed. He and I have known of each other for few years but we actually only really became friends this year. He was introduced to me by another friend and we would always say hello but it wasn't that deep. I'm assuming that through this limited interaction as well as things he may have heard from the person that introduced us he was able to see the kind of person I was. By his admission, he had me up on a pedestal. Granted I was flattered but I was quick to remind him I'm not perfect and he shouldn't have put me up there. As previously stated we are all multifaceted individuals. Yes I do consider myself a virtuous woman but I do have good and bad in me. NO ONE should ever think I am perfect.

I told dude his disappoint in me sounded like a personal problem. And that commenter's disappointment in Lauren London is a personal problem. If YOU'VE placed someone on a pedestal especially if its not someone you know very well the problem has already begun. Anything that person does from that point on is subject to have them tumbling off and that is thru no fault of their own. Take off your rose colored glasses and view people with new eyes. View them as they are NOT who you want them to be. Throw out those glasses people.

Enlighten Me

So I come to you today seeking enlightenment. I've been getting the side-eye, smirks, and shakes of the head lately for comments I've made about weeding out undesirable. Now I'm just curious because a lot of the reasons I've ceased to consider dating some of these dudes I thought wasn't unreasonable. So... that only leaves me with the question: When did Women become so accepting of low standards?? Why is it that me asking for the minimum is deemed as seeking "High Standards"?

Just to clarify for you guys I can give you some of the reasons I've weeded out some dudes:
*Main mode of conversation is thru text. Now I am a 26yr old female not 16 or 15. Why would any dude who wants me to believe we are worthy of each others time text me all the time? I have a cell phone, house phone, and a job phone. That's 3 different ways to call me but you want to text me all the time? SMH I'm going to need more than the occasional text message. If I met dude online (Special is NOT above online dating) I can get down with emails back and forth for a minute before I give my number and we converse some more. But please Please PLEASE do NOT text me to death. I just don't understand why men in their late 20s and early 30s want to spend majority of their free time texting OMG, ttyl, and other madness. AGAIN SMH....

*Lack of faith/No respect for my faith. I wouldn't consider myself a bible thumper (wateva that is lol I heard the term on another blog and apparently its NO BUENO) but I do love me some JC. I go to Church and bible study regularly, read my bible, and try to please, trust in and acknowledge God in all that I do (wait maybe I am a bible thumper). Its difficult for me to consider a relationship with someone who has no or doesn't respect my faith. I'd only become annoying to them and I don't need them trying to coax me to sin however innocent it may be. And please don't get me wrong. Mr. X is saved and when we started dating I wasn't. I look back at some of the things I said or did that wasn't respectful to his faith and I did it without knowing so it does happen.

*Not corresponding regularly. Ok so at least 3 dudes have responded "Wow" when I informed them I didn't remember them after they texted/IM'd me randomly one day. I've stopped saving numbers in my phone becuz I got tired of deleting guys out eventually; so anyone that calls me regularly I recognize their #. But if you call me once a month and you deem this "courting me" why would you be surprised that I don't remember you? You yourself opened the conversation saying "Long time no chat". I will admit I get busy every so often and don't link people but if its someone I'm interested in I start off with a hi this is special then an apology for being MIA linked with minor explanation and then I say how have u been.

*Dates. Ok I had to throw all my issues with dates in dis one paragraph. 1. Why are u asking me out on a text msg? A voice call is needed for an invitation to hang out. 2. Why are u asking me out when you don't know me very well? I've noticed people are quick to say let's hang out and they haven't learned your last name yet. Can't we converse a bit before you decide you want to spend money on me? In the amount of phone calls we could have BEFORE a date we can find out enough to figure out if we even want to hang in person. Its a recession! 3. Why are you asking me out day of? Ok I'm all for spontaneity but I do have a heavy schedule and I can't drop plans so easily. Its disrespectful to whoever I had plans with and doesn't respect my time either. Can't a sistah get some advanced notice? When people do this sometimes it gives me the impression that they believe my schedule revolves around theirs.

So please blog family enlighten me. I find it kind of sad that some have settled for this kind of behavior and think that expecting more from someone who is supposed to be courting them as high standards. If you were applying for a job and you didn't reach your interviewer would you not leave a message? One friend said "well that's important." Uhhh.. and I'm not? As far as I'm concerned at the age of 26 and no longer interested in dating for kicks and giggles there is no reason for me to be interested in dating someone who isn't ACTIVELY interested in dating me. May my standards be deemed to high. As far as I'm concerned I'm worth it.


"Don't doubt for a second that you're not valued. Or for a moment that you're not special. Don't compromise your standards because it's convenient. Or accept less than to stay en vogue. Because if you make your options few and your expectations great, your rewards will undoubtedly be spectacular, more than worth the wait."

Keeping me Down....?

Ok so I've officially been single over a year now..... and I find myself still in limbo. I actually have been very much aware that a year was approaching lately. I'll hear different songs and think "This time last year this song would have me bawling.... Mmmm no tears now. Interesting. I must be getting better at this" Or wow this time last year was when I had reached my limit. Ill look back into my diary and read my thoughts and I'm completely blown away by the amount of emotion in the words that are written. I think I've just been living with it very close to my mind this month.

I think after month 8 I stopped counting how many months it had been since Mr. X and I broke up but this last month everything was very ON for me. I couldn't escape it and I hadn't even seen dude for like 5-6months. Then 7/22 came and like 15 times that day people needed me to remind them what the stinking date was. And I'm thinking to myself "Lord? Seriously? Really?" Then to make matters worse (?) I saw Mr. X not once but TWICE back to back the following weekend. (I couldn't make this stuff up people. I actually have a close friend who thinks our entire relationship could make a great movie. Its very "as seen on TV")

And now.. after the weekend is over I feel like I've been thrown back into this emotional pit. No I am definitely not bawling after every song but I find myself uttering a lot of 'what if' thoughts lately. I think I went 22 steps forward and within the last month went 7 steps back. It is very disorienting. Left a sister dazed and confused. I don't think it would be in my best interest to get back with Mr. X (not that its come up as an option) but the entire situation leaves me scratching my head when I give it more than a seconds thought. I keep getting pulled into that direction.

I have developed something more than a crush on a few guys. Some of which I'd seriously consider dating. That is a place I'm very glad to be at because I didn't think I'd be capable of it no matter how much I wanted it. I don't think I'll ever be 100% over Mr. X but I'm hoping I can coast at a smooth 85%. I'm getting there but progress has slowed down lately. I leave you with this song and video I felt captured where I'm at that I found on TheFlyGuy Chronicles website. Check it out... Song kinda rocks.

Sara Bareilles "Gravity" from The Fly Guy on Vimeo.

Aspirations of Brokeness

****Admin Note: I've noticed people are always asking my opinion on various issues and are always happy with the advice I give. So since I haven't been sued yet I figure I'd open my services to my blog family as well! So if you have a question/need advice on something please send your questions to SomethinSpecialblog@gmail.com All questions WILL be anonymous and readers will be encouraged to add their 7cents as well whether they agree or disagree with the advice or even think I may have forgotten a tidbit. All are welcome. Be blessed everyone!****

When I was younger I was notorious for swiping loose change from my mom to buy junk food (who am I kidding I still am). Back in the day when you needed had to wait a couple days to be issued a bus pass to go to and fro school my mom would give me bus fare and I'd walk to school and spend the money on junk to munch on during the trip. My inner child was and still is a fat kid. Matter of fact I was pleasantly plumb in Junior High School so that WAS the fat kid.

That memory popped into my head today as I looked at my sorry behind checking account. Normally I'd look so happy; its pay day. But yesterday I paid all of my bills and today the money was withdrawn. I don't even want to tell you how much is left but hint: its in the single digits. SMH

I so long for the days when I wanted money in my pocket so I could buy a snickers bar. Or money so I could grab a cheeseburger from mickey dees. These days I'm thinking cable bill, student loans, and cell phone surcharges. I think back to those days when I had 50cents and all was right with the world. Now you can't even get a candy bar for that much (they cost at least 75cents now. Who can afford such indulgences?).

Now I'm thinking can I buy a house in 10yrs? What does my retirement fund look like? Mmmm can I afford to buy lunch tomorrow or maybe I should paper bag it? Wait do I HAVE a paper bag?! Between paying bills, rent, and adding to my rainy day (which is currently only suitable for a partly cloudy kind of day) fund I aspire to be broke. I hope to get a couple dollars in my pocket so that I can buy a snickers bar play on the monkey bars and pretend that I'm 11 again, and I have not a care in this world besides figuring out how to finish this candy before my sister asks for a piece.

I know that day is far off though because I've enrolled myself in a strict budgeting system for the next few months. (Yea I often challenge myself to reach all kinds of goals.) As it stands I'm only allowed to spend $30 a week; outside of bills, rent, tithing/offerings of course. And I'm only allowed the 30 on Thursdays and into the weekend. For any and everything else I put my faith and trust in God to provide. I may asp to be broke but I don't have a poverty mentality/mindset. I am VERY wealthy where it matters. But I do recognize now more than ever we need to save and be more mindful of how we're spending our money. And because of this recognition I'm trying to be more responsible; which SO depletes my fun money. Ugggh now I REALLY want a Snickers!