New Face, Old Conversation

So let me take it from the top. I'm taking a 6month hiatus from dating. Long back story short: I am cleaning house. I've noticed somethings about myself and I feel the need to work on those things... with no distractions. I've spent majority of my young adult life single. But I have always been a serial dater. I won't front... I'm a reformed dinner whore. Hey you paying? I'm eating! (My inner child is a fat kid sue me!) If I didn't have anything better to do I'd go out with a guy regardless if I liked him or not. It was something to do and if I got a meal out of it even better. I actually only hung up my napkin when my older sister finally enlightened me to my dinner whore-ness (Thanks Big Sis!)

But I digress right now all my meals are on ME. Which is cool. I've been blessed with a lucrative career and a aversion for shopping. My wallet is doing just fine and my rent is always paid on time (Glory to God!). But I've noticed since I gave up dating for this hiatus.... The Art of Conversation between Men and Women is DEAD.

Now here me out. For a serial dater I had to find SOMETHING to look forward to during my 6month hiatus. And I thought I was going to get the opportunity to enjoy a genuine conversation with a Man that wasn't someone that I've known for years and isn't family. I was hoping for something refreshing! Something new and exciting! What did I get? Exasperation, Disbelief, and complete Confusion. Nine times out of ten I was asked if some horrible man had turned me off of men and dating and how if given a chance he could change my perspective on men. Ummm... NO. Why is it so hard to believe that I just don't want to date? Why is it so incomprehensible to think that a woman can take a break without it having to do with a man? I think more than anything my hiatus is my very selfish attempt to figure out exactly who I am and how that differs from who I was. Unfortunately I'm not multi-talented enough to do that and date right now as well. Plus I LOVE a challenge. For me giving up is harder than trying (Thanks Kanye!). I HATE to quit. I love to push myself to completion. It is something I am very proud of and if that's wrong.. ehhh something else I can work on.. maybe in month three.

Since I've begun this journey I've probably met over 20-30 guys? (I've never had a problem MEETING guys; it's always finding interest in them past two weeks that I can't seem to grasp the concept of). The problem though is when they get to the whole 'Maybe we can hang out this weekend' that it gets awkward. I go into my whole spiel about 'cleaning house' and offering my friendship for the next couple months. I even let them know how lucky they are. Hey I can be a bit much at times. They at least get to find that out in the next few months. They may not even like me after that time has passed. (I highly doubt that though I'm a pretty cool chick).

My absolute favorite reaction is that of complete understanding followed by the interview like questions: So do you have kids? Do you have a roommate or no? What do you like in a potential mate? Do you have any psycho girlfriend tendencies?.... Wait didn't we just establish the fact that I am NOT applying for the position? Why am I being granted an interview? Why can't we discuss politics, religion, the possibilities of the Knicks making the playoffs (LMAO.... yea OK)? Why must our conversation center around if I am date-able? Is there NOTHING that a Man and a Woman can talk about during those initial conversations?

I for one find this very hard to believe. I have been blessed in my lifetime to meet a quality group of Men that upon meeting them we could talk for hours and hours without feeling like I was being interviewed or being sized up to be barefoot and pregnant (Actual Comments: Dang girl! You got some child bearing hips! ). Knowing that these Men do exist does give me a small ray of hope that the next couple months won't be a complete bust. But if this keeps up... by month three If a gentleman walks up to me and attempts conversation I may have to pretend not to speak any English. No habla ingles. I think if I roll my R's a bit I could pass for Dominican...