What's in a name?

When I'm bored and unable to find something to do with myself I click the CNN app on my berry. People see me avidly watching the screen and sometimes think I'm texting my life away to some man. No. I'm not I'm just reading CNN ha! And while reading it the other day I came across an article about names.. Or rather HIS name.

The article was exploring whether or not Women should take their husbands names. It discussed different cultural practices like in Spain where you have both names. Or the fact that celebrity women keep their own last names. In this day and age more women are taking on their husband's name rather than keeping their own. The writer wasn't happy with this saying a woman who gives up their name loses her identity. *insert my rolled eyes here*

I've probably mentioned before but if I haven't: I'm a modern girl with an old fashioned kind of loving. Things like courtship, chivalry, letting a Man take the lead do not grow out of style as far as I'm concerned. I had a conversation with a good friend of mine just last week about this (told you I'd blog it! Ha!) and I told her I'm definitely taking my husband's name.

I can't for the life of me understand the concept of joining my life with another person but stay separate :-/. I thought that whole separate but equal stuff was thrown out in the 60s?! SMH And if I was a dude I'd be offended if my wife said she'd marry me but didn't want my name. Now I know several married couples some took on their husbands name some didn't they all had their reasons. A good friend of mine hyphenated her last name because her dad only has girls. But then she has a boy and he has the dad's name anyways. *shrug*.

The writer of the talked about identity theft and how our names are like our identities so if a women takes on her husbands last name that's how she loses her identity. I can't co-sign dat madness. One its just the last name so even if our names were linked to our identity its a PART of your identity that changes. And in all actuality your identity does change you are now a wife. This is just one way that you acknowledge that change.

Now I can see it coming.... "So then why can't my husband change his name?" Chhhh **that is me sucking my teeth** I am as independent as the next female but again I'm a modern girl with an old fashioned kind of loving. Know your role and play your position. Your man is supposed to lead. You ever watch ballroom where you can't tell who is leading?! SMH its very confusing. Having your man lead doesn't make you any less than he is. Only you can do that. If your husband/fiance is really that kind of man he doesn't need your name to zap your identity.

Now as is pretty much EVERYTHING on this blog with the exception of whats in "Just Stopping By" this is all my personal opinion. I'm just one person. Ladies, do you feel the need to take your husband's name? If not what are your reasons. Gentleman, do you want your wife to take your name or do you not care either way as long as she is at the Church on time? Speak to me people.

Can A Sistah Get a Berry?!

So I was having a chat session with a good friend of mine on Gchat in between working hard and hardly working and she was telling me how romantic her bf is. How he'd draw her a bath or feed her fruit, do massages, etc. And I couldn't help but feel a little envious. Not for the man perse... but for the romance.

I can't remember the last time a dude tried to romance me. Granted some believe romance is for after marriage but I can't co-sign that 100%. I don't need my bath drawn or a massage; as that would only endanger my celibacy. A lil wooing is necessary in courtship no? Can a sistah get a berry? It doesn't even have to be dipped in chocolate! A candlelight dinner perhaps? Or even some flowers. The last time a guy gave me flowers was 4yrs ago when he was late for our date. Which was great; I truly appreciated the gesture. He came with a dozen red roses and I remember thinking "Mmm.. this is nice". Prior to that FavX bought me a beautiful bouquet for my 21st birthday. I will admit that having not received flowers I convinced myself that I didn't want them. I've even been quoted as saying "Who wants flowers? They die anyways". Well I realize I want them.. no matter how long they last.

When I mentioned this to my friend she admitted before this guy there wasn't a lot of romance either. We concluded that at some point in time guys have become lazy. Doing only the bare minimum to get the girl. If he doesn't HAVE to buy some flowers or a piece of candy then why bother? I'd love to blame other females for this. On some fronts I feel like wen a female allows a guy to get away for somethin she makes it harder for another female such as myself. So if you have scores of females who will open themselves up to you having done no work at all then hey why bother to deal with the girl you actually have to call, take out, buy a flower or two. But I can't blame it 100% on other females. I've become a strong believer in what others do shouldn't dictate what you do. So if a guy wants to do something nice for a Lady even if she is willing to give it to him for free he should still do it if its REALLY in his character to do so.

I think it depends how badly dude wants said lady. If a guy really wants you he'll go hard. He'll put his best foot forward and try to romance you. Even if its just to get the booty. They will work for it! And ladies your not exempt either. Think back to the last time you romanced your significant other (and I don't mean the time you took that pole dancing class to surprise him for his birthday). When was the last time you went out got your hair and nails 'did', cooked him a meal and gave him a back rub? And it was just Tuesday?! Not Christmas, Valentines Day, or his birthday... it was just Tuesday.

As men and women we need to cater to each other a little more. Even if you can't buy some flowers a 'Just Thinkin about You' ecard works wonders to make a someone smile! Or even a text message saying something cute like "I can barely concentrate on work because I'm so busy thinking about your beautiful smile..." Oh! Or leaving little notes around their apt or house. Not the stalker kinds of notes. Just little thinking of you stuff you know. They may not find it for a few days or a few weeks but it would be a nice surprise. So bring out the romance people. Don't be afraid to let them know they are Somethin' Special!

Single, It's Complicated, In a Relationship, Engaged, Married... Swingers?

I hate relationship statuses. When your single you always have to explain yours and when your with someone there is always the question of: "do I need to even have it up?" A month or so ago I changed my status on facebook from "Single" to "It's Complicated". I had taken off that notification button where it updates all of your facebook friends about your relationship change over a year ago so it wasn't noticed for awhile. Recently though I've been getting a lot of msgs in my inbox questioning what it meant. One guy even sent me what I assume was a 4 pg letter detailing how he was so much better than dude I am currently with. When I told him I was single and I was just acknowledging that dating in of itself was complicated he proceeded to send me a 10pg letter detailing why I should stop dating weirdos and date him. To which I promptly responded even when u date non weirdos dating is complicated but either way I wasn't interested in dating him.

I can't stand when people lie on their status. A promoter friend of mine used to have "In a Relationship" on his page prior to actually being boo'd up. He used the excuse of a lot of females kept trying to holla at him so he would just put "In a Relationship" to fend them off. I told him to man up and tell them he's just not interested. It was the same thing a friend told me after they witnessed me tell a guy I have a bf just to fend him off. We're all grown enough to let someone know "Hey I'm just not that into you.." But what of those who actually have a significant other (SO)?

Relationship statuses bring so much grief. Before my last relationship there was no facebook or myspace. There was just aol and blackplanet where people barely glanced at your status anyway. So FavX and I didn't have to deal with this whole issue. When I got with Mr. X I changed my status on both fbook and myspace to the delight of some and horror of most. When it was over it went right back to Single. The status was always a cause for concern because his profile on myspace didn't have the option for a status and he wasn't on facebook at the time. I'd always wonder IF he could, would he put it up? And if he didn't what did that say? Or did it say nothing at all. He didn't think it meant anything at all, couldn't understand why I bothered to change mine to in a relationship in the first place. But he sure did make a comment about how fast it changed back to single.

I find that majority of my male friends have the same sentiment. They detest the "Relationship status". One of my friends told me he got into a huge argument with his gf because he was still listed as single on fbook. He felt everyone who needed to know he was in a relationship was already aware. Citing that it was just going to give nosey people something to talk about. But his girlfriend felt it was false advertising. Or even a desire not to claim her. My closest guy friend thinks this argument alone is enough to stay off facebook or myspace and won't touch it with a ten foot pole.

Personally I think if you have an active profile on either site and your in a relationship it should be stated. Facebook gives you the option to put who your in a relationship with; you don't HAVE to. So you can let everyone know yes you have a SO without having people trying to stalk your man/lady. But please take heed don't go from "In a relationship" to "engaged" or even "married" having not clicked that "with" button and filling it out!

What say you good people? Do you care if your current SO claims you online? Is it a big deal? Is social networking ruining your relationship?

Below you will find some other Facebook Relationship rules that are pertinent to your peace of mind!

Forget... Remember... Forget... Remember...?

So as I was getting ready for work this morning the PIX morning news did their segment where they chat around the table about current issues. Up for discussion today was the recent death of Patrick Swayze (R.I.P. I AM a fan of Too Wong Foo gosh darnit YOU ROCK!) and a pill that may be hitting the market soon. Though I am deeply saddened that not just Hollywood but another family has lost a cherished loved one I don't want to talk about death. There has been far to much of that as is these days. I want to talk about this pill..

This pill that I didn't pay enough attention to get the name of allows you to forget memories. Yes FORGET memories! The painful ones, the embarrassing ones, the ones that even make you blush; on some Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind stuff(Jim Carrey movie. You don't know it? Shame on you!). The pill's basic function is the ability to erode certain parts of the brain that stores memory.

Now a year ago I wouldn't even be posting this entry: 1. I didn't have a blog where would I put it? On the wall of the subway stations? 2. I'd be to busy pre-ordering the pill to sit here and type insightful(?) musings on my blackberry. I'd be feening for such a pill. I'd get up, or rather, not sleep to be the first one on line when they started handing them out I was so desperate to forget certain things. Such a pill would be considered God sent. And THAT is NO BUENO...

Working in the field of Mental Health I'm privy to the knowledge of lots of pills that are helping a lot of people. People who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) could use this pill. I used to counsel Vietnam Veterans who YEARS later would be plagued by memories of fallen comrades or even the atrocities of war. So there is a demographic that could benefit from all this; but what of everyone else? The ones who have no disorders but just things they'd like to forget. This pill I could see being a big seller on the black market. Such a pill would not be good for these people. Some questions brought up with the news team was how do we know which memory we get to lose? You may try to lose the memory of a cheating ex and end up forgetting the first time you rode your bike without the tricycles on it. You might want to forget the time you walked half a block down madison avenue with your skirt tucked in your panties but you forget the first time your husband said "I love you".

And what of those other times you endured something you'd pray to forget but you got a lesson from? You lose the memory you lose the lesson? "There is no coming to consciousness without pain". With the pain now gone is your conscious rid of the ability to discern how to go about a similar situation in the future? I'm an advocate for remembering the good, the bad, and even the ugly. Without becoming bitter you can hold on to all of these memories and learn from them. If you don't remember the feeling of being burned what's going to keep you from sticking your hands in the fire?? How could you share your testimony... if you can't remember it...?

As this is just My 22 Cents I know others may feel differently. What about you...? If you could what would you forget?... And ya know what.. for good measure you should probably list whatever it was... You know.. so when you forget I can remind you just in case you change your mind later haha... :-D

To my fellow NYC Residents

As I've asked around I notice WAY to many of you guys are not up on the upcoming election. We are not supposed to only vote for President people!! We need to be very in tune to what is going on in our very own backyard. This years election is especially important because we have offices that are open that will directly effect the next few years of our lives (Mayor of NY, Public Advocate, Controller, District Attorney). Many of our ancestors fought and died so we could have this opportunity. Remeber the greatest gift you can give someone in life is access.. don't take it for granted...

PLEASE take the time to read up on these candidates and make it your business to be at the polls not only on in November but also for the Primaries in September!!

Don't complain about whats wrong in NYC DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!! GET OUT AND ROCK THE VOTE!!!!!

**Feel free to pass this information on to others that may not be up on the upcoming election**

Candidate (Office they are running for) link to the Questionnaire

Tony Avella (Mayoral Candidate) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_tony_avella_democrat_for_mayor_campaign_questionnaire.html

Michael Bloomberg(Mayoral Candidate) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_mike_bloomberg_independent_for_mayor_campaign_questionnaire.html

William Thompson (Mayoral Candidate) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_william_thompson_democrat_for_mayor_campaign_questionnaire.html

Bill de Blasio (Public Advocate) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_bill_de_blasio_democrat_for_public_advocate_candidate_.html

Eric Gioia (Public Advocate) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_eric_gioia_democrat_for_public_advocate_campaign_.html

Mark Green (Public Advocate) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_mark_green_democrat_for_public_advocate_.html

Norman Siegel (Public Advocate) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_norman_siegel_democrat_for_public_advocate_.html

Alex Zablocki (Public Advocate) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_alex_zablocki_republican_candidate_for_public_advocate_questionnaire.html

Melinda Katz (Controller) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_melinda_katz_democrat_for_controller_campaign_questionaire.html

John Liu (Controller) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_john_liu_democrat_for_city_controller_campaign_questionnaire.html

Joe Mendola (Controller) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_joe_mendola_democrat_for_city_controller_campaign_questionnaire.html

David Weprin (Controller) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_david_weprin_democrat_for_city_controller_campaign_questionnaire.html

David Yassky (Controller) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_david_yassky_democrat_for_city_controller_campaign_questionnaire.html

Cyrus Vance (District Attorney) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_manhattan_da_candidate_cyrus_vance_campaign_questionnaire.html

Richard Aborn (District Attorney) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_manhattan_da_candidate_richard_aborn_campaign_questionnaire.html

Leslie Crocker (District Attorney) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election_2009/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_campaign_manhattan_da_candidate_leslie_crocker_snyder.html

Its always funny... Until somebody DIES...

My evening commute on the iron horse is always so informative. I actually learned how to cuss someone in Romanian this week; but I digress. So I'm enjoying my daily browse of the free daily paper and I come across another story of a woman who seeking vengeance over a cheating husband/boyfriend. Now I'll admit the last couple stories I've heard solicited a hearty giggle from me. Some of the more recent ones have certainly given me a gut busting laugh.

One West Indian wife woke her husband up to scalding hot water on his privates after finding out he had cheated. Another wife joined forces with 2 of her husband's girlfriends and they kidnapped and jumped him leaving him bound and possibly gagged with his penis glued to his stomach. I even read a story of non-fiction called Sister, Sister by Eric Jerome Dickey where one of the sisters found out her already no good husband had cheated and she watered down some gasoline and scared him shytless. That last one is perhaps my absolute favorite she tied him up and soaked him in the stuff and told him about himself while threatening to light him on fire. I read this story in my teens and vowed to do the same thing to my husband if I caught him being unfaithful. Years later I still got a laugh out of peoples reactions when I told them the story. But... The story I'm reading now isn't funny at all and I can't muster up a snort for the other stories now either.

This Staten Island women 'allegedly' stabbed her boyfriend to death after learning he impregnated another woman. She stabbed him in the chest and he crashed and died on the way to the hospital. Its always funny until somebody DIES!! My God! R.I.P. Mr. Braddox.

Now granted in the other situations I admitted to my friends that I laughed but I knew it was wrong. I don't think anybody deserve to be physically assaulted; even if they cheated some say those guys deserved a beat down. But does someone deserve to DIE? No!

No one is worth me losing my freedom over. If I'm ever cheated on may the Lord give me strength to remember that. Women: please know if a loser cheats on you he is not worth the time or energy plotting against him will take up. Men: I'm positive these men knew the kind of females they were stepping out on. Know who your dating. If u know u date crazy keep it in your pants! Everybody: Cheating is bad....and apparently it can get you killed so love the one your with or break it off (gently!) and find someone new.

A Prayer for Michael

Heavenly Father,

I come to you today in a state of utter shock and mourning. A true legend has passed away. A true Icon not just to African-Americans but to ALL people. He was a man that transcended all colors, creed, languages, etc. He was a man that influenced millions of generations. Generations of people. Dancers, Singers, Writers, etc. He changed the game as far as music videos go. He was truly a genius when it came to the music industry. We know his personal trials and tribulations, we've heard the good the bad and the ugly. But overall we know that we must walk in love, Lord. We know that it is your job to place judgement on any man's life.

May his family and friends find strength in your arms. May his fans find solace in his music. May the people who he helped through his philanthropy continue to have blessings rain upon them. And may those who feel slighted by anything he may have said or done to them be blessed with the spirit of forgiveness so they can live free of the pain and bitterness that might continue to plague them.

Lord I pray that before his passing he made his peace with you and received Jesus Christ as his savior. Lord I pray that you receive him, Lord I pray that all future generations will never forget how much of a legend he is... Lord I would also like to pray for the salvation of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, David Carradine, Bea Arthur and all the others who have lost their lives this month. We have truly lost some special people. Michael your journey did not end yesterday... Your life's journey will live on for generations to come. I pray that you are truly happy now... In Jesus name.. AMEN

Somethin' Special's 22 Favorite Dating Rules

As I am a reformed serial dater/ dinner whore/ movie whore, etc. I have decided to compile some of my favorite dating rules for the good of all daters everywhere. Hope you enjoy.. Date long and prosper!!

#1 Remember his/her name after initial contact. Seems like a no-brainer but I've seen it happen. Heck I'm guilty of it...

#2 If you met online (its 2009 people give in!) converse with them for at least a week or even two before giving them your #. It’s easier to dodge some one's email than their phone call.

#3 Prior to knowing each other for over 3 months Text should NOT be your main vehicle of conversation. Texting every so often isn’t bad but passing messages back and forth all day everyday with nary a date or phone call in a week is juvenile. You aren't a teenager grow up and pick up the damn phone!

#4 If you are the person who proposed the date YOUR paying. Girl or Guy doesn't matter. We're in a recession everybody has bills to pay and if your broke there are many great FREE dates you can propose (THAT blog coming soon I see people need help in this department). If going dutch wasn’t established prior to the outing do not be shocked when given the side eye when asking for your dates half. In fact don’t be shocked when they excuse themselves and walk out of the venue.

#5 If your best friend is of the opposite sex slip this into conversation within the first 2 weeks. Better to find out their views early on the concept of male and females being able to have a platonic friendship.

#6 Don't bring them around your friends and family until you are considering claiming them. Before that time it is too soon. If you don't last and they stay friends with whomever you introduced them to there's a good chance of running into him/her at your cousin's son's bar mitzvah.

#7 DO introduce your new lady/male friend to your friends and family eventually for two reasons (a) These are the people that know you best. They'll be able to tell if s/he will be able to take you at your worse. When you’re raging or crying snot all falling out your nose and all. They may surprise you. (b) No one wants to be anybody’s secret date. If dude/chick isn’t willing to show you off they aren’t worth your time.

#8 Whether you've just begun dating or you've been together for a significant amount of time DO NOT go clubbing with them unless rules have already been established. If you’re a wall flower and they could dance circles around M. Jackson chances are your not the only person that will want to get close. Man, if they can move like Tito Jackson someone will want to get close. It’s the club people come out to dance and have a good time… well some people do.

#9 Once you've established exclusivity its a good look to switch your status on those pesky social networking sites. Quit your groaning! It'll save you from petty arguments later on about the fact that your status says your single and you’ve been with them for six months now.

#10 Your house is not a first date spot. It may not even be a 2nd-10th date spot depending on who the potential is. Whats that you say? Your culinary skills are sick and it'll impress them? Pack a picnic basket and leave the MTV-like cribs tour for another day!

#11 Per Rule #5 NEVER encourage your significant other to drop their good friend of many years because they are of the opposite sex. If they listen it shows a lack of loyalty; also they may resent you later. If they don't listen you might forever be the sworn enemy of that friend. Your best bet is to get to know the offending individual and figure out if they have any sneaky motives. Trust your partner enough to know the difference. Implying that they have had said friend around them for so long and they only want to get into their pants undermines their intelligence. Even if it IS true you shouldn’t be the one to tell them it’ll only look like your jealous.

#12 Once you receive a networking site friend request from said potential DO NOT cyber stalk this person! Jokingly dropping hints that you saw how many 'gifts' they got today or how funny the joke was that I wrote on another random person’s wall is not cute. In fact its grounds for me to de-friend you immediately *insert blank face here*

#13 On a first date do not utter any of the following terms: ‘Safe Food’, ‘Bubble Guts (or any variation of the word)’, ‘My Ex’, ‘When we get married’, ‘My mother/father would love you’ ‘I voted for McCain and/or Bush’, etc. There are several more but these to me top the list.

#14 Though some believe bringing up religion is a no-no I disagree. If God is a big part of your life put it out there before the first date during those phone conversations. No I didn’t say start quoting scriptures and preaching fire and brimstone; slipping it into conversation by saying something like: “God-willing I’ll get that promotion. My Pastor reminds us every Sunday to speak things into existence.” Also on the flip side if you’re a satanic worshipper that is something they may want to know prior to you taking them to the rave where chicken blood rains from the ceiling in between the bands sets.


#15 On the flip side of #9 don't put In a Relationship/Its Complicated/Married/Engaged/Swinging if you the only people your dating is your friends and family. We are not in kindergarten anymore. Who still pretends to have a significant other anymore? Is this person still eating paste too? No self-respecting potential will take you seriously if you have it up that you are in any sense of the word taken.

#16 If you have photos that could potentially be argument provoking un-tag yourself on these networking sites. Whether you just met or you guys are heading down the aisle soon these photos though innocent can cause many a problem.

#17 Whatever is in your potentials email/voicemail/snail mail/text inbox, etc. is none of your damn business. DO NOT go searching through their things when they get up to use the rest room. What is in the dark will come to light. And that’s NATURAL light. You are not a detective point your flashlight elsewhere.

#18 After receiving 'the digits' your initial contact should not be thru text. I cannot stress this enough. Text messaging though fun when used for evil is.... well evil. Initial contact should be made by phone. Texting me to find out if I can call you or vice verse just lets me know you ate lead paint as a child. Pick UP the phone and call.

#19 Know your wireless carrier!! Some of you may not know that Verizon customers have a beep at the end of their ring when someone calls them and they are on another call. By not answering that call and then hitting the caller back later saying you were sleep, lost your phone, with your sick grandma makes you a KNOWN liar. You could of been on a business call or conversing with someone else your dating and you were unable to click over. That's fine (don't SAY that). But leave it as "I'm sorry I missed your call I was on the other line". In the beginning this is fine... once you guys are dating exclusively you may want to tell whoever your on the phone with to hold on so you can click over to tell your boo that you need to hit them right back. Either way they know your on the phone don't let your carrier tell on you.

#20 It is to be assumed that when you met the potential you already had a full team of potentials. 5 of whom are in the game a couple bench warmers and possibly even a 'towel boy'. This is none of their business. Your only dating. They do not own the rights to be the only player on your team until they can prove they can play the role of every player on the team by their self. Consider this a Dating Don't Ask Don't Tell policy.

#21 When calling a potential leave a message if they do not pick up. Continuously calling their phone and never leaving a message will get you on the block list. Most of you live in NYC if you use Mass transit so we do not receive a missed call because we are underground. Even so for you to say "I called you mad times you never returned my call." and having never left a message seems idiotic; which will conclude to YOU having idiotic tendencies. And really... who wants to date an idiot?

#22 Reserve giving your facebook friendship to those you've just met trying to holla at you for at least 2 months after you converse with them. They can find out about your little idiosyncrasies later....


Now these are not the extent of all the little things one should keep in mind when navigating your way through the dating scene. These are just a few of my favorites! See any up there that you think need to be added as well?

Subway (and Bus) Series- The ONLY one

"I don't care if he was there this afternoon!! He comes home to me err-nite cause I'M his baby you just some two bit ho!e. He don’t care about yo stank @$$. That is MY man he loves me! I don’t want you in my house no more and don't be calling my house phone no more either you tr!ck!! I got caller ID!!"

As homegirl snaps her cell shut with an indignant snap I can't help but think: 'Ahhhhhh the joys of riding Public Transportation'. Even with the upcoming fare hike this Brooklyn Beauty still finds reasons to ride the MTA besides making it to work. Reasons that make her feel a tad better about the $2 she spends for horrible service. Its truly amazing the small joys you get. You can get molested by a homeless person for free when it’s crowded, a concert, a dance recital. Have you ever seen the midget Michael Jackson impersonator who frequents the 34Th and 14Th street stations? Seriously you get a ride, a show and sometimes even a revelation. Today’s revelation: I have no intention of being any body's #1,2,3, etc.

Here me out for a moment. I’m a middle child (I’ve been told this alone can have you pre-approved to be crazy) and a self proclaimed Eccentric Old Lady in training but I cannot understand why anyone would settle for being some one's #2 much less #3. Who wants anybody’s sloppy 2Nd's? Excuse me but I'm selfish when it comes to what 'belongs' to me. And if you’re going to label me your 'Lady', Boo, Girl, Mami, Night Nurse, etc. and your my man then as far as I'm concerned no one else should be able to reap those benefits. Quite frankly, if I'm anywhere near dabbling in your stuff and we are not a couple I don't want another chick doing so as well. I know that is something I cannot control but a girl can dream. But outside of not wanting to find out from Maury who is NOT the father Statistics have shown me enough sh*t is running around in people's pants these days that I've taken a vow of celibacy. But I digress that's an entry for another time.

A good friend of mine who happens to be a single black male disagrees. As far as he is concerned he is able to get the best of both worlds. He gets sex and he can leave the relationship drama for the girl’s man. He has no qualms about being a chick’s #2 or even #3. But when I flip it he made it very clear that it wouldn't sit right with him being #1 for someone who has a #2 and/or 3. It wouldn’t matter if he was out on his own doing dirt. **Flashes of the scene in the Best Man when Morris Chestnuts beats the snot out of Taye Diggs run through my head** It boggles my mind the way some dudes can mess around so much and become so territorial when it’s THEIR woman. Please don’t get me wrong I know a number of females who prefer this lifestyle as well.
I on the other hand can't say I’d be satisfied being #2 or 3. But worst than being someone’s 2 or 3 is that indignant idiot #1. As far as I’m concerned walking around knowing your with someone who has many other someone’s and being ok with it because you have a label/ring is even worse. Walking around with a smug look on your face like a Cheshire cat when you won a boobie prize. I cannot wrap my mind around this phenomenon. Maybe in my younger days.... No not even then.

As I exit the bus shaking my head, squeezing between the homeless woman who smelled as though she hadn’t showered in three weeks and the young professional who had been making googily eyes at me I take in the full scope of my $2 revelation. I can't settle for #3, #2, or even #1. Call me selfish, call me crazy, call me an idealist but the only slot I'm willing to fill is the ONLY 1.

Subway (and Bus) Series- Determine Your Value

***Admin Note: Riding the NYC Transit system gives me such inspiration for this blog. In the next few weeks you'll read a couple MTA inspired musings mixed in with my usual stuff.***

As I sit on the subway this morning wiping the sweat from my brow after my mad dash to the station I give a sigh of relief that I can sit and rest my baby toe. You see it is a 10min walk from my house, but every morning due to my love for my bed I challenge myself to make it there in 7mins (I also like to pretend its part of my daily workout But I digress...). As I lean my head forward (opposed to back in order to avoid the comedic nodding others do that I snicker at every morning) and try to catch a couple Zzzs I'm jolted awake by music being blasted in my ear and an unusual pressure against my hip.

This girl who had to be at most 14/15 was sitting next to me poppin it, droppin it, and tick'n it around the world with her hips while the song Shake your Money Maker was being blasted from her headphones. Now I won't lie: when I'm on the subway listening to soca Machel got but one time to tell me Get Madder Dan Dat before I'm chippin down the cart, flag out and waving stopping only to bubble and wyne on some unsuspecting Business man. But as I sat there and said a prayer that I nor she go deaf from the sheer volume she had it at I couldn't help but shake my head. The media and other image conscious folks had already convinced dis chick that her body and what she could do with it were her Money Maker. When in fact its really her Supplemental Income.

Now I have my moments when I stand in front of my mirror and admire the curve of my backside, the roundness of my hips, the slenderness of my waist, the cheese in my smile... Sorry ya'll I got a lil happy. But that's what I'm saying we all like to admire ourselves from time to time. And I've been told and have accepted the fact that I love when people watch me dance. I'd like to blame it on the performer in me and years of training in dance and such but no: I'm kind of a tease. But ultimately as good of a dancer that I may be; as small as my waist/soft as my skin/enticing as the curve of my leg... I KNOW that these things aren't my Money Maker but in fact my Supplemental Income and EVERY woman young or old should know the difference.

And please people do not misunderstand me. Home girl working in the strip club/Ray-Ray's living room at night and attends medical school in the day is not who I'm advocating for. Know your WORTH! You do not have to shake it like someone is going to put a dollar in your g-string whether in a strip club or regular club. Your Supplemental Income should be used when you want to go out to eat with that cute guy sitting across from you at the club or on the #4 train on the way home from work. Catch his eye, smile and cross your legs at the knee. If your feeling those hunger pains pick up speed you may even want to mouth the word 'Hi'. By no means should you get up and show him your own rendition of the Ciara's new video "Love Sex and Magic". Save that for months after the date. In between courses your Money Maker will clench the deal for you to ensure you will have a chance to show those skills as well.

Your Money Maker is your brain/personality ladies. What you look like is your Supplemental Income. Regardless of what you may look like or how many times you can make your booty clap in one minute this is not your sole source of income. Think of your looks as your resume: it'll get you a cold call maybe even an interview but ultimately your Money Maker will get and and help you to keep the job. Your Money Maker is what really matters because as Forrest Gump put it: Pretty is as Pretty does. Looks fade no matter what cream you vigorously rub into your face every evening and you may not be able to drop it without having someone else pick it back up for you. If as women (and men for that matter!) we spent more time cultivating our Money Maker rather than our Supplemental income we would be much better off. Know your value and your worth people. Check your personal stock and know the difference.

Not that its any of my business...

I love hanging out with my friends.. I really do. Every time we are together I learn something new. I get insight on something old. And I always get a good laugh. Recently while hanging out with some very good friends of mine I learned of a situation one of their friends was having. It left me completely puzzled and more than slightly disgusted. So much so that I let my friend know that I would definitely be adding this to the blog to find out what some of you thought about it. Now with all of my entries this is MY OPINION. But as you know 'My 22 Cents' is for issues that I have a opinion on that may be a tad controversial.... So here goes

My friend has a friend who had a.... homosexual "moment". Now I'm not down for labeling anyone or judging anybody but hey it is what it is. I have homosexual friends. I love them but I don't condone their behavior. This particular gentleman doesn't identify as a homosexual. And my friend, who is his friend, has a different opinion.

Basically this guy was hanging out took some X and before he knew it... Someone was... Ummm.. giving him fellatio. This someone happened to be male. Next thing he knows it has gone past this point to sex. *insert blank face here* After this encounter this young man did meet up with this gentleman again in the company of my friend where she witnessed their affectionate PDA. At the end of the night they went home together to ummm... yea. As far as this guy is concerned he isn't homosexual. He had a moment.. or two.. or three? This guy has even been quoted as saying "Whenever I see him..." and for the sake of my readers I'll just say he becomes aroused. *insert an even blanker face here* He says it was just a moment blames it on the X and he has cut off the 'relationship'.

Now.. a year or two ago I think I'd be a little hung up on the discussion of if he is or isn't homosexual or not. These days I could care less. I hear all kinds of stories and the most I can do is give the blank face because I have no words. Actions speak WAY louder and I can't think of a heterosexual man that would find himself getting fellatio from another man and wouldn't have a problem with that. But hey that's just my opinion. It doesn't happen often but I have been wrong before. My question though... If it was a female would we be so quick to through that label on them? I know girls and guys alike that don't think if a girl kissed another female she would be considered homosexual but two dudes who have known each other since kindergarten can't share a bed....?

Thoughts.....?

Knew This Day Would Come....

It all started one day as my older cousin gave me a ride home after we finished doing our dance teaching gig. She was screaming some song at the top of her lungs and I'm just taking in the sites when a green and white awning catches my attention. I make a groan that originated deep in my abdomen and by the time it pasted my lips sounded like a thoroughly wounded animal. "Oh God The news is going to swarm the block. How long has that been there!" My cousin turns down her music and brings her screeching to a halt. "What? Oh that! They changed it on Thursday"

The "that" was the new sign outside the chicken spot around the corner from my childhood home. As far back as I can remember it was originally called Mama's Fried Chicken and then when I was maybe a Junior in HS it changed its name to Royal Fried Chicken. Its new name? The name that my procrastinating behind was going to ask you all what you thought about on Monday instead of today(Friday)? Its 'Obama Fried Chicken' **let the groaning commence**

You see I'm torn. I kept asking my siblings and cousins as well as my Spiritual Counselor (who also doubles as my LS) and another friend if I should be offended. Obama Fried Chicken!?! This business has sat there for over 20 years and they have never had a problem with the community as far as I know. Its where I fell in love with those $1.50 Sweet Potato Pies. There is a Crown Fried Chicken that opened up directly across the street from it when I was in undergrad and they have been struggling to stay open competing with them for customers hankering for a dose of heart disease. I can't help but wonder if they did it to drum up business. According to some of my neighbors they(the neighbors) did encourage them(the store owners) to change the name to Obama Fried Chicken. My sister (who hasn't decided if she is offended yet either) who still lives on the block says that they have an Obama Hardware as well and a slew of other stores... But THIS is Fried Chicken!! I don't know what to think of this.

Now I wake up this morning and am alerted by text that my prophecy is now a reality. "The Obama Fried Chicken spot by your mom's place is on the front cover of AM New York" http://www.amny.com/media/acrobat/2009-04/23136028.pdf And all I could do is verbalize that low groan again but through text... Read a little something like this: 'Uggggghhhhhhhhhhh'. And almost a week since I saw the offending(?) sign I STILL haven't decided if I'm offended yet. Now it's in the paper.. Oy Vey! Honestly if it were a Chicken Spot someplace else I'd of probably been offended but its MY Chicken Spot!! O woe is me... **hangs head in shame**


P.S. That is NOT Brownsville its the 90s of East Flatbush!! **Insert another low grown here**



P.P.S. According to AMNY They are taking the sign down on Sunday. Due to Black Leaders in NYC staging a protest on Monday if it isn't gone.

Tryin to Make a Dolla outta 15 cents

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Sittin on a Fence

Tryna make a dolla

Outta fifteen cents

She twist!
She twist!

She twist like THIS!!

Oooo to be young again! Back when making a dollar out of 15 cents was the least of our worries. Back when we worried about where we would get our next pack of sour powers from not how we would pay our next rent check. Back when knew who all the Smurfs were (Smurfette, Papa Smurf, Lazy Smurf,...) but we didn't know who NASDAQ or Dow Jones were. Back when we could charge kids a snicker bar to get into our backyard (Or was that just me?). Ooooo How I miss those days!! We didn't have bills or rent or other miscellaneous bills to pay but we had us a good old time.

In the last few weeks I've made it a practice to read as many articles as I can during my lunch breaks as I can. I usually find myself on CNN.com at some point and read the numerous stories about all the people being affected by our deflated economy. Something keeps nagging me though. I read so many stories about people who are just going nuts over all the job losses or pay cuts or whatever. And I can definitely empathize as I've also been affected by whats been going on in this country today but... I can't help but think "Well at least now they know what it feels like to have to do without."

I mean honestly I didn't grow up with much. And I still don't live a lifestyle where I can afford to spend hundreds of dollars a day (much less a none rent paying week). So having to buckle down these last few months hasn't crushed me. I hear all these stories of people losing millions and getting depressed or killing themselves and/or their families and I'm thinking OK it's really not that serious. I can understand that they are shocked because they have to live a lifestyle they aren't used to and its hard. It is VERY hard I'll acknowledge that but there is a small part of me that is thinking 'suck it up you STILL have more money than most people.'

I mean come on they went from eating caviar to whiting and they are shedding tears. Some people still eating sardines out the can and in this economy they can't even splurge and get the sardines in the tomato paste. Living off Ramon noodles and bologna sandwiches while others can still afford to keep their in home Chef.

The kicker for me is a lot of these same people would always have something to say about poor people. How lazy they are and how all they do is sit and collect a check. Which in some cases may be true but not in EVERY case. Its hard out there for the have nots. I can speak from experience that you can get up at the crack of dawn and head out to work and get in after the sun goes down and still not have a lot of money by the end of the month. You can eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches everyday for breakfast, lunch, and dinner so that come first day of school you can have new clothes. Now the lines of at the state agencies that distribute those checks have bankers, lawyers, retail workers, and domestic workers alike. And in between grumbling about losing one of their summer homes they are trading recipes on the many different ways to make hot dogs (throw em in some eggs for breakfast, eat it with a bun for lunch, and for dinner put them together with some beans and eat em with rice **insert thumbs up sign here**)

I don't know. I just really wanted to get that out. It irks me a bit that the formerly wealthy are going on about how devastated they are and how they can't imagine having to live like this for much longer. They better start taking some lessons from their nannies, chefs, dog walkers, etc. on how they've been able to feed their families for so long. One of my own personal tips?: Keep the essentials in your kitchen (bread, rice, canned sardines, veggies) you never know when lobster won't be an option for you anymore.

Love School

I can't remember who I was speaking to (it was probably Kentucky) when this theory first reached me. We were discussing my inability to 'shake' my feelings for Mr. X and how easily I was able to do it with my prior X.


Now if anybody knows Special I am NOT a big fan of losing control. I've stated before that I've had control issues in the past. Having control means that I have structure in my life. I am not vulnerable to anyone or anything when I have control. I wish I had the ability to turn my feelings on and off but God didn't think I needed that so.....



Well during the course of the aforementioned conversation Kentucky decided to enlighten me on why I was able to get over one X faster than the other. Love school is what I'll call it. Puppy Love, Love, REAL Love. You graduate from one before you move on to the other. Some people are lucky(?) enough to go through all stages with one person. While the rest of us are left to go thru a parade of loves until we find the coveted third stage. Love is something so profound that I personally don't think its something we can fully absorb the first go round. So we get a chance to absorb it in stages. Let me explain...


Imagine having to take your Regents (shout out to NYC schools) exam in kindergarten... Not a good time huh? You need to go through elementary, junior high, and then go that final lap in high school before you are deemed knowledgeable enough to even take the Regents exam. I think Love is the same way. You need to go through a series of stages before you can really appreciate and maintain that last stage of love. The stages are Puppy Love(Elementary School), Love (Junior High School), and then REAL Love (High School). Now I am no Love Guru or anything I am only in the Junior High level of my Love learning experience so take anything that I say with a grain of salt.







Elementary School: Puppy Love. Puppy Love is that first stage. We meet someone who we become more than infatuated with and even debate if we may be in (looks around and lowers voice to a whisper) love with them. Its like elementary stage of this whole love game. We learn the basics of love. Realize what that whole electricity and butterflies in the stomach is when its taken to a whole other level. We figure out the good things that can come from love but also the bad. Its like an introductory course. There is NO getting to junior high school (Love) without graduating from this stage. The major disadvantage is that there is a lot of bumbling and fumbling around because we are new to this. The major advantage is that we get a chance to learn so much. Its like an awakening of all that love has to offer; which can never be a bad thing. When this stage is over it can hurt. I'd liken it to getting hit by someone on a bicycle. You get a couple scrapes, some bumps and bruises. but at the end of the day you live. You get up off the ground and dust your self off and move on to the next.





Junior High School: Love. Love is the second stage. We have graduated from Puppy Love and are (supposed to be) able to handle a relationship that is a bit deeper. We can actually finesse our way into this relationship and can actually maintain it as well... to a point. The main reason this is Junior High School and NOT High School is because this stage is flawed. Just like Junior High Schoolers we are stuck in between two very important stages. We think we're grown and we 'Got This'. Unfortunately we don't; we just have the basic tools to obtain a Love relationship. We still can't take a Regents exam we do not yet poses the knowledge to get anything above RCT credit(not passing but better than sucking score ex. 55 when I was in HS). Also depending on who you ask a (dis)advantage to this stage is that you can go through it a billion times. You can fall in love so many times and then turn around and fall right out again. Which brings me to the major disadvantage: its not unconditional; its a baby. It isn't capable of maintaining something solid. It's not strong and when dealt the trials and tribulations that come with a relationship it doesn't bend; it breaks. Unrequited Love is usually in this stage as well. There is usually uneveness in feelings with both parties. Theor may even be Love on both sides but the intensity may not be where it should. But the major advantage to this stage is that you can move on. You may go through Junior High School a couple (billion) times. But your able to break free from the person (i did NOT say it would be easy) emotionally. I'd liken this to getting hit by a car. It hurts way more than getting knocked over by someone on a bicycle but depending on the speed of that car you can spend a couple days/weeks in the hospital and then you can move on. This time it's harder; much harder. You've gotten over the actual car wreckage but you remember the pain of recovery and you question if you even want to go at it again. Which is what usually keeps you in Junior High School to go a 2nd round.. or 3rd.. or.....


High School: REAL Love. REAL Love is the third and final stage. We've managed to graduate from Junior High to get into the thick of things. REAL Love!! We are in the final stages of our Love School experience. Just the opportunity to make it to High School is something to be celebrated. So many people get stuck in the Junior High mentality they never make it it out. They always make it to that last stage and right before its time to enter into High School they get that 'Promotion in Doubt' letter. So just the opportunity to make it to High School is a battle not easily won. REAL Love is the big leagues. You learn the necessary tools that allow you to obtain and then MAINTAIN that relationship. Not many people can do this. I mean to see it in action its... its really beautiful. And its power is awesome as well. You literally can't live without the other person. Ever heard of those couples that day within days of each other or at most about 16 months? REAL Love right there. Advantage... do I really need to say it? It's unconditional, it can whether the storm, it doesn't break it bends. Its unselfish and it is wise enough to know that perfection in a partner is a fairy tale. And unlike Love, REAL Love serves as a union between the two they both REALLY Love each other which is why the bond is so strong and not easily broken (That was a GREAT movie by the way Check it Out!!). Disadvantages? It varies depending on who you ask. Some people have been so scarred by Love that the concept alone of REAL Love makes them uncomfortable. They want no part of it. When you get hit this time... Its like a mack truck. There is NO getting up. You are down for the count. Or is there...? You've heard me say it once then you've heard me say it a million times: God is Love. His version of love would be REAL love and beyond. He got the Ph.D. He can do impossible things. So some people are able to get hit by that mack truck and get back up again. And no that doesn't mean that they didn't have REAL Love that first time; it just means they've been blessed to experience it twice. I honestly don't think it can happen more than twice. And I know several people that I know that don't think it can even happen more than once. But then again.. some argue the existence that it happens even once is questionable.


I'm a huge Will Smith fan. I've loved him since the days of the Fresh Prince (and I'm convinced he is just having a Jada-phase right now But I digress..). He did a movie called Hancock a year ago. In the movie the underlining story (spoiler alert) was that their is a ying yang kind of thing going with Will and Charlize Thereon. Basically they are both superheroes and there were many others like them. They were all paired off. The thing was that they all couldn't be around each other if they wanted to maintain their powers and immortality. If they chose to be together they had to kiss all of that goodbye. They would age and grow old and die just like the rest of us. The others like them chose to live without their powers, the chance to live forever to be with their REAL Love. They graduated from Love school. They passed their Regents exams with flying colors and just like in real school they are now challenged to put all that knowledge to the test after graduation. Now begins the real work...

Are you KIDDING me....?!?

OK so I'm not married. Never have been; not even a proposal. (Which is OK cause I am soooo not ready for that kind of commitment)But I do have hopes of one day getting a proposal and then becoming married (God willing). So I may not be an expert on the whole 'marriage' thing but from a Christian point of view marriage is forever. You know that whole monologue during the ceremony goes a little something like "Thru richer or poorer, sicker and in health, till death due you part"?





Yea so that's a vow that your supposed to be making to God, and those who are witnessing your ceremony. In this day and age marriage isn't taken as seriously as it should be. Which is unfortunate but... I mean honestly.. this site that I was informed about has gone above and beyond madness.




OK yes this is fabulous marketing because the commercials are hilarious and it got me on the site... but on a more serious note are they freaking kidding me? Its one thing if people are off doing it on their own but I don't know. It doesn't sit well with me to know there is a site designed for people who are looking to cheat on their mates. I am positive at some point before the honeymoon began you saw signs of trouble ahead.






Exhibit A and B











Once you have decided to go through with the wedding and get married you have to 'deal with the consequences'. No marriage is all good or all bad. Its easy to obtain a relationship but people fail to realize how hard it is to maintain one. i mean honestly if you took the time to get to know someone and made a commitment to be with them forever despite their faults then you need to stick to it. I let you know this right now: Any guy who gets it into his head that he wants to marry me better be fully aware that he is getting the whole shabang. The good the bad and the UGLY!! Not only is divorce not an option neither is http://www.ashleymadison.com/ or any other off the wall behavior. We have a problem we are going to have to sit and stew and work it out. Because what it all boils down to is for better or for worse, through richer and through poorer, through sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live... YOU ARE STUCK WITH ME!


Here's one for the road.. these commercials are funny though I'll give them that much...

H.ear A.bout T.his E.ffect...?

So as I'm searching the web for something to do during my (VERY) late lunch break I decide to read up on CNN.com. Something I usually leave for the weekend. I check out the news in the morning as i quickly get ready for work and at night as I get ready for bed. I reserve my CNN browsing for the bus ride to and fro my 2nd job on Saturdays and church on Sundays. Its amazing that since I've given up networking sites and messengers that I can't find a thing to do on my lunch break but I digress...

As I browsed thru CNN.com this afternoon a article title caught my eye: Growing Hate groups blame Obama, Economy (http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/26/hate.groups.report/index.html?iref=mpstoryview). Now I finished reading the article that I was presently browsing but immediately clicked the link when I finished up with the Beverly Hillers who are now Hillbillies. I was barely halfway thru the article before I was absolutely certain I'd be blogging about it. And though you may not have realized it (yet) I love to give my opinion... even if it wasn't asked tehe. But I digress onward to this little thing I like to call....

Its such an ugly word, isn't it? Well its ugly inside and out. As an African American female it isn't something I'm not familiar with. Whether it emanates from someone of a different race, class, gender, or worst yet from someone who looks and is just like me it is ugly. The offense can be big or small any form that it comes in I can't stand. Its wrong and there is no excuse for it... Which is why this particular article left me a bit peeved.

According to the hate groups of America they are becoming ever popular now because of our new Prez and the downturn of the economy. Which I will say isn't so far-fetched. Some people are downright LIVID that the new face of America is that of one similar to those who have been oppressed by this country for years. The Southern Poverty Law center released a report today showing an increase in the number of hate groups in America citing the recent inauguration and the downward spiral of our economy as one of the main reasons for the rise. One website interviewed by CNN reported an increase of 20,000 new members the day after the election up from 80 new members a day. And with the growing number of attacks on Hispanics in the Tri-state area alone there is significant rage against the immigrant community.

"We fear these conditions will favor the growth of these groups in the future," said Mark Potok, director of the Southern Poverty Law Center's Intelligence Project. "In the long arch of history, we are definitely moving forward, but these kinds of events can produce backlashes." (Thanks CNN.com for that snippet!!) Don Black (former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard and current owner of a popular White Nationalist website) claims those who were complacent and just a little perturbed are motivated now to do something since the election.

Ummmm huh? I'm sorry did we offend you when we demonstrated that we would no longer hold ourselves back in order to feed your misguided idea of superiority? I find that a little hard to take. Honestly I think some people who were undercover bigots, Neo-Nazis, Klan's men, and skinheads have just decided to be a bit more open about their dislike of minorities. People didn't just become this way because Barack showed up and some fat cats on Wall Street got a little too greedy. Oh no, they were probably always that way and this was the straw that broke the camels back. Now they are more motivated to cut the sheet and throw it over their head instead of silently agreeing with that openly racist co-worker.

Well unfortunately for these individuals whether they are new-haters or just those who have become more open about their hate.. we aren't going anywhere. We as a people (and not just African-Americans: ALL minorities) are becoming bigger and brighter and we are not satisfied with hanging on the sidelines any longer. WASP (White Anglo Saxon Protestant for those of you a lil slow on the upkeep) is not in season. If that angers you *shrug*. Makes you want cut breathing holes into your sheets *shrug*. Spurs you on to light a couple crosses on fire and leave a couple nooses hanging *shrug*. A new America is emerging. Those photos of Uncle Sam may still LOOK like you but trust me he has a NEW attitude. I say if you want to come out in droves.. BRING IT ON SUCKAS!!

And you say Racism is dead?

Ok so for those of you that read this blog and have the pleasure of knowning me personally you guys KNOW I can get DEEP into the issues sometimes. When I feel that someone has been wronged or God forbid someone has wronged me I will go hard. Sometimes I can get a lilttle carried away even if I find out that i'm wrong (My mom calls me "Wrong and Strong" thinks I should of been a lawyer) but sometimes I seriously can't help myself. I don't know why the thought to create entries under this label didn't occur to me when I first created the blog but better late than never. I give you: My 22 Cents... Sometimes I may be speaking right to you other times you may want to slap me across the back of my head but you can always respect my opinion because regardless if you comment or not I will respect yours. I'll just know I'm right and your wrong haha!



Now I got to work this morning and logged into Stalker's Paradise (facebook.com) only to see a friend of mine had this link http://community.essence.com/profiles/blogs/troubling-cartoon-new-york in his status. Upon pressing said link I experienced the following emotions: shock, anger, hurt, and anger once again. Honestly I'm not surprised the NYPost has always been questionable 'newspaper'. (And who is surprised that the NY Post is owned by News Corporation who also owns Fox News, Fox Television Network, TV Guide and other media outlets?? NOT ME!!)I don't buy it and I don't read it even if someone gives it to me for free. I wouldn't even use it to wipe my bum!! But today this particular drawing worked my nerve even more than their usual antics. Why you ask? Because I hate having to tell clueless people that shiznit like this still goes on in 2009!!

I have this thing that I do when I meet a guy. I usually give them a name and he is referred to by said name when I speak to different friends about him. You've got "Mr. Text" "Mr. Enigma/Mr. Hollywood" "Precious Memories" and "Non-Selassie I" to name a few. But one guy in particular had a long name but I will forever refer to him as such because he boggled my mind so: "The boy who didn't think racism exist". African American male, mid twenties, college educated, and of West Indian Descent no less. And he was certain racism was something of the past. Now to be quite honest after finding this out through a conversation with him he was automatically dropped from my mental dating list. For the life of me I couldn't understand how he could come to such a conclusion.

But I have met others like him since meeting him a few years back who share the same views. They truly do NOT believe racism exist. Even with cartoons like this coming out every other minute and the comments made by some Americans during the election. They truly DO NOT believe we live in a society where racism is present. Which I for some reason cannot understand. With all the overt and undercover happenings in today's society... *Shaking my head* How can they NOT see what is right in front of their faces?!

I feel as a country we have made great strides in the last few years to break down barriers so that we and our future generations can live in a country that TRULY believes: All men are created equal. I mean yes we DO have a black president. But the race was close for awhile. I mean honestly. If the tables had been turned and Barack had McCain's credentials (or lack their of) would he of even made it to the primaries? Well I for one doubt it. YES I do believe that we as African Americans have to work TWICE as hard to get what others can have handed to them. YES I do racism exist. And also.. I do believe that YES WE CAN get rid of it. But sorry folks TODAY is not that day.

To write a letter to the NYPost letting them know how you feel about this cartoon please send a letter to letters@NYPost.com or go to http://www.nypost.com/postopinion/letters/letters_editor.htm