Walking Song...

I. Will. Trust. You. I. Will. Trust. You. I. Will. Trust. You. As I slowly woke up this morning these words continued to play over and over in my head. I began to say them over and over as I began to gain full consciousness. I then realized I forgot to turn the TV off the night before. I realized it was a Gospel song playing. Throughout the fast I had also decided to fast from secular music as well. This hadn't been the first time I'd forgotten to turn off the television and been awakened by the sounds of praise. But today is different. Today is day 21.
Today I bring my fast to a close. Today I reflect on my 2011 thus far. Today I can say: I DID IT! Last time I fasted I cheated. I cheated not once, not twice, but three times. I ended that fast lighter. Not just physically, but emotionally, and mentally. But I wasn't lighter spiritually. Yes I felt closer to God; but I also felt some guilt for not sticking to the fast. So when I decided to embark upon this fast a couple months ago it was very important for me to stay true to it. To feel that closeness with Him with out the shame of not embracing the fast completely.
I was able to finish this time without a heavy heart. The one thing that kept me was the realization that all things happen in time. I didn't spend my fast wondering how I would get to the end of the week. I focused on getting to the end of the day. I have a tendency in life to worry about tomorrow instead of focusing on the journey of the day.
One thing I know I will take with me is learning to trust God more. Learning to let Him get me through the journey of the day and focusing on living in His word TODAY. As I've been doing the fast I've been following a 21 Day fast on the bible app on my phone and today I noticed day 13 hadn't been checked off. I'm positive that I read it but I reread it anyway again today. It was definitely needed. I realized it is exactly what I needed to take the lessons I learned in the last 21 days with me through the rest of the days of my life. 2nd Peter 2 out of the Message Bible is going to be my walking song for my daily journey. Thank you Jesus.

Who would of thought...

So as I continue on my 21 day fast (Did I mention that already? I'm doing a 21 day fast and so far so feeling real good..) I am following a 21 day reading plan. I wake up every morning and read a specific scripture. Before each scripture is a small paragraph about what I should try to take away from each day.

Well the other day I had to read a scripture about how blessed I am. The take away for that day was to keep a list throughout the day about different things that I'm blessed with. I woke up very cranky that morning. I wasn't feeling very well and so needless to say I wasn't really in the mood to write down how blessed I am.... But as the day progressed I was able to jot down a few things... Like to read it? Here it go...

*As mentioned previously I wasn't feeling well.... But this uhhhh..kind of sickness only comes when you ARE well. Thank you God for good health.

*As I walked through the snow watching the bus pass me by... sighing under my breath hoping the next bus wouldn't be too late I stopped remembering a friend of mine who couldn't afford a metrocard and wake up 2 hours early to walk to work...so I jotted down "I have money to go to work."

*As I sat on the bus and texted my Director about missing my bus...again... I'm reminded how grateful I am to HAVE a job.


*As my day progresses I get some uplifting texts and emails. I didn't ask for them. My spiritual family just knew that I needed it and sent me good tidings. Then I realized how blessed I am to have great spiritual family. People who surround me and comfort me even when I don't realize I need it.

*As I got through the rest of the work day my spirits continued to rise as I realized that people at work looked at me as a potential leader. And not just the people I supervise... My boss pulled me aside and mentioned that there was possibility for upward mobility.....*insert happy dance here*


So you know how blessed I am... How blessed are you?

Its That Time of Year Again!

****Ok... I've finally answered the million dollar question: To Tweet or not to tweet? @SometingSpecial Follow me!****

Lent is here.. (insert mix of cries of joys and groans of agony here). Some of you may not know that Lent began last week Wednesday; Ash Wednesday to be exact. Even before I was saved I practiced the tradition of Lent every year. If some of you remembered last year I gave up facebook/myspace/aim/bbm/gchat/ basically any forms of social networking. I was still blogging of course and was putting out entries every 5 seconds I had no outlet haha. This year though I have decided to give up the snooze button.

Yes I said the Snooze button. Anyone who knows me well knows I LOVE sleep. I don't get enough of it so the snooze button became my best friend. On average I hit it about three times a morning! On the very rare occasions where I don't have anyplace to be in the morning I walk up to take a afternoon nap. I have a comfy pillow top mattress and I just detest coming up from under the covers in the morning. So this is going to be a big sacrifice for me. But this is exactly what this time is about: Sacrifice. Its a time to learn what its like to do without something we think we absolutely CAN'T do without.

It is also about taking on something. I always struggle with this part of Lent as I am constantly taking on new things so I'm left struggling to find something else to do when Ash Wednesday arrives. After some thought I've decided to make sure my hands are painted. Again something most of you are left scratching your heads about. I'm not a very "girly-girl" I don't like shopping, mani/pedis, or spending hours in a hair salon. If I do paint my nails my fingers are probably clear because when they begin to chip I can never find time to redo them. Granted I do like what they look like afterwards but I always wonder when some women find time to have their nails done so regularly. So this Lent I am going to invest in myself. I am going to hit the stores buy some great colors and I am going to MAKE time to do my nails every week. Oh the joy...

Is anyone else devoting any time to Lent this year? What are you giving up? Taking on? And most important question of all: Any suggestions on fast drying nail polishes!

Know The Speed Limit

I was involved in a debate on one of the many listservs I'm on about why so many women in my generation are single. And one young Lady made a comment about how marriage isn't really necessary these days. Now the first thing I responded was that marriage still is necessary but some chose not to acknowledge it. God made woman to be man's helpmate. That is the reason we were created. That doesn't change because man may think he doesn't need help or we find we have much more important things to do than help man (namely helping ourselves).

When I really started thinking about it more it reminded me of something my Pastor said a few months ago: "The speed limit doesn't change from 65 because the flow of traffic is at 80". To often in our society we allow societal norms to dictate how we act when God gave us laws to abide by long ago. just because everyone is doing it, doesn't make it right. Sex, Murder, Stealing, etc. we all make excuses to support us doing these things that we shouldn't.

Religion is man made. More than following a religion you should be following God. God didn't say we can't dance or listen to music. He did say thou shall not kill or steal. He didn't say steal if your running low on cash that week or kill if you don't think your ready to have a baby or that state allows the death penalty. And lets not even go into people's relaxed ideas about dating married men and women; or husbands and wives not honoring their vows...SMH

Whether we choose to acknowledge the speed limit or not its been set already. I can't force anyone to embrace God's Word as their own and abide by his rule; I can only concentrate on my walk. But let's be clear here because people don't choose to abide by His word doesn't mean it ceased to exist. And as much as I love some of my family and friends they don't give out buddy passes to heaven sooooo...

Do you dis/agree? What are some things you've noticed people let society dictate for them? Do you think as time passes we need to change with the times and stop dusting off old rules?

I'm Sorry Mr. President

I've been forming this particular entry in my mind for awhile now. I did a entry not to long ago stating a Woman needs to be a Queen if she wants to be blessed with a King. I still stand by that and now I'm out again to speak to the guys. Your a special case; you can't just be King. You need to be King, Priest, and Prophet.

I first came across this theme months ago listening to a teaching from Bible Study entitled "Why Can't We Get Along" which discussed some of the difficulties men and woman face while dating (Fabulous teaching find it and more great ones at http://www.chrisburgeministries.org/). At the time I heard the theme I understood it but having had an opportunity to marinate on it awhile I've realized its importance.

King in Scripture very generally used to denote one invested with authority, whether extensive or limited. I am a Queen (or rather one in training lol I still got some relationship kinks to work out); and the only suitable mate for a Queen is a King. A King that is well aware of his position and the responsibility that comes with it. He is the provider (and that is not just in terms of dollars and cents), protector, and is called to lead("with a humble heart and loving service to your wife"). Also the bible talks about this little thing called submission that has been misconstrued far to often. God NEVER said we are inferior to our mates. "Headship" means that God has called the man to lead his home—and will therefore hold him personally responsible for what goes on in his home. The emphasis is on responsibility and accountability, not on authority and power.” To submit to your mate is not weak. Women was created to be Man's help mate so it is clear that we must recognize his role and put him first. As his help mate we must understand that he has the final decision. Notice I said FINAL decision; whatever the issue it should be discussed amongst you both before a final decision is made. While dating you should be looking for traits that let you know that you can respect and trust the decision your mate makes. If he wasn't good with his finances when he was single, if he hasn't fixed the issue by time he says "I do" don't expect good financial decisions to be made for your family. No I'm not telling you to let your husband run your family to the poor house; I'm telling you to take preventative measures BEFORE you get married so you can trust in those decisions later.

Priest At first every man was his own priest, and presented his own sacrifices before God. Afterwards that office devolved on the head of the family, as in the cases of Noah (Gen. 8:20), Abraham (12:7; 13:4), Isaac (26:25), Jacob (31:54), and Job (Job 1:5). Your mate is charged with making sure the family is spiritually grounded. Laying the foundation for his Queen and their children. He needs to not only pray WITH his family but pray FOR his family. He must set an example for them to help with their spiritual growth. He has to know and make sure his family knows he is in 'power' but God is in control. He has to "lead his wife and children into God's presence for worship, to remind them of God's Grace and mercy in forgiving their sins and to intercede on their behalf".

Prophet was a spokesman for God; he spake in God's name and by his authority (Ex. 7:1). He is the mouth by which God speaks to men (Jer. 1:9; Isa. 51:16), and hence what the prophet says is not of man but of God (2 Pet. 1:20, 21; comp. Heb. 3:7; Acts 4:25; 28:25). A man needs to have a vision for his family. Not a only a vision for HIS future, but his entire families future. What kind of future does he see for his family? For his marriage? For his children? Is he thinking in terms of generational blessings? Generational blessings will not just serve his family NOW it will serve his family long after he has passed and gone.

Now just yesterday while talking to a male friend of mine he told me I maybe looking for a needle in a haystack. Asking a man to be King, Priest, and Prophet may be a bit much he said. He told me that he and his wife operate on a governmental scale. He is the President and she is the VP. Now I'm not knocking their union at all but I encourage you all to do what works for YOU.

This would not work in my favor for several reasons. To name a few: (A)There is a not so clear separation between Church and state; that will not work in my household. (B)The president's job is temporary whereas the King's position is till death. Too many marriages these days think in temporary terms when the vows clearly state: "Till Death do us part,". Now if you made modified vows ignore that last one! (C)Also though the President is the face of the country there is still congress and the judicial system; and that brings way to many opinions into my household. Having spoken with a couple divorcees: congress not passing a bill has been the reason for many impeachments to date. I'd like my household to consist of two decision makers: King and Queen. If I wanted a group discussion I'd of got down with polygamy. (D)Lastly, I don't need to worry about campaigning, primaries and elections. NY Times nor Barack's endorsement holds a candle to God's endorsement and appointment. Therefore, no need for me to go looking for a needle in a haystack. God will present me to my King, Priest and Prophet when I'm deemed ready(see: when I finally get the major relationship kinks out and can call myself a Queen). I have faith in THAT; So I'm sorry Mr. President but I'd rather have a King, Priest, Prophet

For further study on this subject go to this website for more information it was truly helpful to me along with my own thoughts and bible study notes. http://www.cbmw.org/Online-Books/Building-Strong-Families/The-Husband-as-Prophet-Priest-and-King

Let Your Light Shine and get Salty!

The other day I was blog hopping and came across an interesting entry on the blog "Expressions of a Buppie". For those of you unfamiliar with the blog its a blog written by 2/3 female Black Urban Professionals. I think this particular entry was written by the District Buppie (she resides in DC). Forgive me I can't at this time remember the name of title of the entry but it was something like 'No God at Work'. Now you KNOW I was already like errrrrrrf *insert comically quizzical facial expression here* As I continued to read past the title I ran a gamut of emotions between shock and anger. I started cracking my knuckles so I could get down and dirty on the keyboard and give them my 22cents. Here's the gist of it:

Blog writer is at work and conducting interviews. The woman currently being interviewed is a young Black female who is energetic, knowledgeable, and a great fit for the position. The District Buppie gives the thumbs up and the young lady moves on to conduct an interview with another staffer. After about 45mins to an hour the other staff member comes to DB's area of the office to talk about how the young lady would be a terrible fit and she won't be getting a call back. DB is confused having just met with the woman; she inquires why she wouldn't be a good fit. To which the staffer replies: "She's a God/Jesus freak. I asked her why she thought she'd be good for this position and she said God had prepared her for such a role" and continued to give her qualifications (Please understand I am not quoting word for word. A sistah is on the train riding to work and can't remember the exact line.) DB thinks that isn't such a big deal to label the girl freak but she knows the staffer is a lesbian atheist and figures the girl should have left her mouth shut because you never know who your speaking to. Needless to say the women was not hired.


When I read the entry there were comments which basically didn't think it was right but this is the world we live in so we must learn to keep that kind of thing to ourselves. This only made me seethe more. How dare this staffer deny a qualified person a job just because of her religious views. I felt that she was discriminated against and was this close *holds up thumb and finger an inch apart* to calling DC to file a complaint.


But after 7 deep breaths and a paradigm shift I didn't leave a comment. Forget discrimination for a minute; this staffer, DB, and the 2 people who left comments actually believed the young lady brought it on herself for bringing God up in her interview. I don't find anything wrong with her reference to God and think she didn't go overboard. I'm saying it is not like she whipped out her bible and started preaching or started quoting scriptures or even started speaking in tongues (note: anyone who has ever done this during a job interview in no way am I calling you a freak but you may want to check yourself. Too much too soon maybe?). I didn't want to get all preachy on the blog and leave a comment and I just shaked my head and exited the site. I forgot all about it but little did I know my Pastor was going to remind me.


Matthew 5:13-16 (New International Version)
Salt and Light 13"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. 14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.


*stands up and begins the slow clap* I love this scripture. I love Love LOVE this scripture. My pastor brought it up this past Sunday. He said we are supposed to be the Light in the dark not the Light in the Light. We can NOT hide out at work, in the street, in the WORLD. That is not what we were created for. We need to dwell among the world and let them see our light shine and manage not to fall to the very ills of that world. By hiding in our Christian homes and keeping our mouth shut will not help US or THEM. Granted there maybe people who don't WANT to hear it but there are far more people that NEED to hear it. I say all the time that my comments don't look full but I get messages on facebook, myspace, email (SomethinSpecialBlog@gmail.com), in other blogs, and even in person that remind me how many people I touch with my words. The saved and unsaved alike. I will NOT be afraid to let my light shine; to be the salt of the earth. Why?! Because I am apart of the chosen and it is apart of purpose in God's Plan and if that makes you feel some kind of way... Take it up with the man upstairs!

Knowing God Personally

Most of us work in offices day in and day out. We come in say our hellos, occasionally catch a bite of lunch together and then say our goodbyes at the end of the day. Sometimes we may even run into each other in the street and when asked we say "Oh that's so and so from work."

But we don't know these people. We know OF them and at most we know them on a very surface level. We don't know their history, what brings them joy or what grieves them to their soul. Now please don't misunderstand me. We do connect with a few people at work or at school but not everyone. When they are discussed outside of the confines of work/school/etc. we say we know them. When in actuality we know OF them.

This is parallel to the relationship some have with God. If you ask them if they know Him they'll say yea I know God when in actuality they know OF Him. To get to know God you need to know His word. To truly saturate and meditate on God's word is one of the easiest ways to get to know Him. Going to Church and having fellowship with other believers is another way you can do this as well. All of this should be done in conjuction with pursing a personal relationship with Him.

Some will say God is everywhere so all of that 'extra-ness' is not necessary. But again you may see your co-worker everyday and not know s/hr harbors suicidal thoughts. You may see your neighbors children everyday and not know that they are being sexually abused. You may see your classmates every day for years and not know the highs and lows of their lives beyond the classroom.

If you truly want to KNOW God start with his Word. You find the Bible daunting? Try reading a different translation. I have the NIV (New International Version) that I take to service and Bible Study. But I use The Message Bibleto read at my leisure because it is written the way we talk in the 21st century. Go to a Church service and soak up the message He has passed to the ministry. And spend time with Him through prayer and meditation. Some find prayer daunting as well but all it is at its most basic form is talking to God. How else can you get to know someone if not by talking to them? And don't be an alligator (big mouth with no ears); don't spend all your time talking spend some time listening as well. Meditate on His word, the message you receive through Church and/or bible study, and that which you hear from the Holy Ghost.

In this way you can truly say with confidence the next time your asked 'Do you know God?': Yes! Continuously strive to get to know Him even better as time passes. We are constantly revolving as people but God is the same today as he was yesterday and as he will be tomorrow. The more you get to know him the more you begin to know yourself. As you well know the best way to understand the creation is by knowing the creator. And while your at it, try to get to know your colleagues, classmates and neighbors too.

A Long Walk...

On April 9Th 1983 I was born into the physical and on November 4Th 2007 I was born into the spirit and I really haven't looked back since. I HAVE paused. I think we all do sometimes. You start to acknowledge that there is something bigger than yourself and you become so in awe of it that quite frankly it can scare the bejesus out of you. You don't think you have the strength to be this person where so many others have failed. The pure magnitude of it all brings out that primal fear in the pit of your stomach and rather than fail you balk at the prospect of even trying. So I've paused... I have paused a lot of times since then. When I first began my walk I not only paused I stumbled and I fell. I would walk in Church and ask for forgiveness regularly. I was taking baby steps in my walk with Jesus Christ. As I grew in my walk my steps became less like a baby crawling and more like a toddler struggling to stay up and continue even though I may wobble. Even as my mind whirled and tears flowed down my face constantly the steps have gotten surer as I go forward. And as time progressed worship and praise didn't just become something I did it became WHO I AM!!

I once heard someone say: "When you are saved you find out who you really are". I'm not sure if I wrote that here before or not but I believe it is 100% correct. You find out the good the bad and the ugly and then you struggle to come up from that. Through the entire journey that I've made this walk I have tried to grasp the concept, the depth of the love the Lord has for me. It is beyond our itty bitty human minds (or at least MINE) to grasp that someone can love you so deeply and so completely. There is no one that has loved us so completely. Not even our parents though they sure do come close. It took a awhile and though I don't think I have gotten it completely when I think of just how much he loves me I am just left in awe. I don't even like to say I'm God Fearing; I like to consider myself God Loving; because his love for me is what has strengthened me on this journey.

At this point in my walk I feel so strong. Sometimes I look back at who I used to be and I am just so surprised at how far I've come, from where I have been. Then I think of where I want to be and I wonder if I will get to a point of Spiritual Maturity. And during those times I realize where I am NOW and that I never thought I'd be standing where I am today. I've grown intellectually, physically, spiritually, socially/emotionally. When you grow in your walk with JC you don't just move in the spiritual. It changes everything about you. The way you walk the way you talk, the way you dress. From the little minuscule details of your life like the things you watch on television to the big things like who you spend majority of your time with. I'm much more conscious of my words and actions today than I was a day, a week, a month after I became saved. And that alone can be a struggle because you have to let go of old things in order to grasp the new. When I was young in my walk I'd rebel and do what I knew was wrong and it would grieves me so much that I'd feel the physical manifestation of that grief. I could hear the Holy Spirit whispering in my ear and I knew it was just the stubborn part of me giving into that fear of failure.

Or I'd hear the judgement of those who weren't Christians but who seemed to think they knew all about me and what I stood for. Ran down the list of all the things that they knew I was upon hearing I was saved. Apparently by deciding I want to have a relationship with JC and becoming a Christian I was told that means that I am: judgemental, hateful, prudish, hypocritical, money-grubbing, and a host of other unsavory things. I mean it got to a point where I was starting to wonder who was really judging whom...?

Today my Pastor said this quote and it so spoke to my spirit: "You don't know what you know until you understand it and you can't have wisdom in it until you can apply it". I am now beginning to understand. I know I have a lot of work to do in the applying it department but as my steps become more steady I know that with The Trinity there is nothing that is impossible for me to do. And though some may laugh, scoff, or smirk I've never felt more FREE especially knowing I serve the one true God and His is the ONLY approval I seek.

Over/Under-Estimations

I'm a big fan of the Simpsons. There is something about the show that has kept me hooked all these years. Even with my love for Family Guy I still hold a place in my heart for that yellow Family. I remember way back in the day whenever Bart did anything wrong he would say "The Devil made me do it!" I picked up the line whenever I got in trouble myself. As I've gotten older I stopped saying it but it seems a lot of others still do.

"The Devil is trying to steal my glory! The Devil is keeping me out of school! The Devil is turning everybody against me! The Devil is jacking up my weave, girl!" Seriously I've heard it all. Though I do believe he is crafty I sometimes think we give him far more credit than he deserves. Wait! Hear me out. I did an entry not to long ago about my love of Storms. Sometimes when we are in these storms or maybe even a time of transition we like to blame it on the Devil. Remember people some storms are sent by God himself. Don't give the Devil credit for something you may be doing to yourself or even a trial God has given you to help you grow. When we constantly blame the Devil we are giving him far more power than he has. And he won't correct you either. You didn't know? The Devil IS a liar! He will take all the credit for any wrongdoings without the bait of an eye.


And on the flip side of that we must also remember he DOES exist. Some people like to think he is dead and gone. Some may believe that he never existed (these people seem to think the same about God). But in the bible it tells us: The enemy will come to kill, steal, and destroy. Don't you dare forget that he IS real and he will be there to remind you of all your failures and past transgressions. He will gloat about all the times he tripped you up himself. And he will try to convince you that after all you've done and been through there is NO way the Lord could still love you. But like I said: The Devil is a liar! With all the tricks he pulls and the damage he has and WILL do we must arm ourselves against him.

Here are some ways we can arm ourselves and renew our minds so that we can recognize his handy work when he does try to throw our lives into a tail spin:


(A) Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and Savior. No relationship is more fulfilling... Trust Me!!

(B) Get a 4.0 in Kneeology: PRAY!! Get down on your knees, bow your head and pray people. Pray for blessings and protection for you and yours, for those you are yet to meet and for all our leaders and their council. Pray for the things you need and want. But most importantly pray in Jesus' name and have faith that God will hear and answer those prayers. Remember: God answers prayers in 3 ways: Yes, Not yet, and No, I've got something better.


(C) Get your daily bread: Read your bible EVERY DAY. Don't just read the word meditate on it. Absorb it like a sponge. Read the stories of Abraham, Joseph, Ester, etc. and learn from their testimony. And don't be afraid to share your own Testimony with others who may need to hear it. You can't have a testimony without being tested.

(D) Fellowship: No Wo/Man can grow in isolation. We need to fellowship with other believers. Strengthen your love and faith in the Lord through your relationship with them. When your faith is strong you make the Devil's job even harder. Go to church, check out a bible study group, get together with other believers and give God the Glory.


(E) The BIGGIE: Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

All of these things are vitally important in our walk with the Lord. I'm sure I missed a few so I encourage you to add some others in your comments. I struggle to do them all and you may too at times. Having a relationship with God doesn't bring perfection! It just recognizes that we can't do it alone. Have faith and keep pushing forward and it will get easier. And remember... The Devil is a Liar!

Feels GOOD to be in love....

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY CHURCH!! **insert deep breath hear** Oh that feels so much better. I was going to start this entry off with some witty background story but I honestly couldn't WAIT to tell you that. I have been holding that sentence in since I got out of service. That's not to say that it isn't something I've said before. I say it at least twice a week but in light of some conversations I've been having lately the chance to SHOUT IT OUT LOUD has consumed me. What better way to shout it out loud than to throw it up on this blog for all the world to see? Well now that I've gotten that out of the way let me tell you what brought it on and get into the why I'm so in love with my church.

With Lent having started last month I've been forced to have more conversations about being a Christian. Having to explain to people why I've given up certain things for Lent, why I'd be a christian in the first place. Or my absolute favorite conversation: Why I bother to go to church. These questions have lengthy answers so hear are the abbreviated versions. To answer the Lent question simply read this: http://speakresponsibly.blogspot.com/2009/02/yes-i-can.html (I mean seriously I explained it already stop being lazy). To answer the Christian question simply: I believe God exists, that the bible is true, and that Jesus Christ REALLY IS the way, the truth and the life.

And lastly why I go to church: Well one of the main components to being a Christian is having a relationship with God and indulging in fellowship with him. But what some people forget is that the other part is to have a relationship and fellowship with other Christians. You cannot grow in isolation. It always amazes me when people think they can be a member of the universal body and NOT participate on the local level. People love to go on about how the church is full of hypocrites. My answer is always: 1. The CHURCH doesn't condone hypocrisy. 2. They are better off than you are, no? They are sin sick and they go to church to get well while you let your sin sores fester. And 3. Honestly why would you let them keep you out of God's house? When you go to church looking for a problem you are going to find one. But when you go to Church looking for God you will find HIM. Then you have the other excuse: "My life is way to busy!" Life does get in the way but lets not forget who gave you life. I mean I could go on and on but I'd rather talk about why I love my own church.

I grew up going to Church regularly for over 16 years. Participated in the youth group, went to Sunday school, and was even in a bunch of different productions there. But I never read the bible, I didn't know any prayers, I mean I was just THERE. I didn't learn anything and I didn't know anything. No, let me not say that. I knew some bible stories and the basics; but that's about it. I was severely ignorant of God, his word, and all of his Glory.

Since I've started going to my church I have just been racking up spiritual knowledge. I don't just sit there; I actually learn and understand all that my Pastor is saying. I have grown spiritually as well as mentally. I understand why I need to read my bible on a daily basis. I understand why I need to worship and praise God. I know the importance of tithing. I mean it amazes me how I could of been so ignorant for so long and then go to this church for a year and a half and learn so much. My Pastor doesn't just preach at you he preaches and he teaches to you. Sometimes I think he is talking directly to me and we are having our own private conversation. And there are classes that are geared towards different members to strengthen their walk in Christianity. You find out the who, what, when, and why of it all. (I'm taking Foundations right now. I wrapped up Spiritual Growth last year) God Forbid I ever show up to Church without my pad and pen. My Blackberry might just get overloaded with all of my notes.

One thing I didn't like about my old church was that it was so dry. When I say dry it was just DRY! I can't even think of another word that better described my Sundays. The word wasn't delivered with any enthusiasm, the songs were sung with the same lack of praise, and I can't remember any message I got there. I dreaded getting up out of my bed to go their on Sundays. Even though I had a ride there and back I just didn't make it on time because I took as long as possible could to get ready. NOW: I get to Church before service even starts! God forbid I miss praise and worship. When I first started going to my new Church I had to take two buses to get there and I'd truck it rain, snow, sleet, whatever. I just love the services. Even on days when I don't feel well or I am exhausted I drag my behind to Church and I'm always glad I did. The Pastor is excited about the message he was called to give. Not only is the choir enthused when they sing so is the congregation. If you've ever seen me in Church on a Sunday I am usually up singing loud and clapping hard!! I can't sit still I just have to get up and praise. Youth Sundays RHO-ck!!

The best part about my church? GOD IS IN THIS HOUSE!! The spirit is so strong there. Honestly before going to my church I had my reservations because it is a very big church. I came from a small Church and I thought it would feel cold. But he is definitely in that house. Some Churches I've been to in the past I could NOT feel God there. I was not moved by the spirit and I definitely did not hear a good word. The first Sunday I spent at my Church I was moved to tears. I felt God around and inside of me. I could hear the Holy Spirit whispering in my ear. It is not something I have ever experienced in my entire life. I had my first God moment. It is something that I have become used to not only IN my church but outside of it as well. I'm more in tune to the Trinity (The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit) now.

But please do not confuse anything I am saying: My Church is not perfect. I'm sure there are hypocrites there. But I don't go for them. I go for God (And boy do I get him!). The Church is not about my Pastor its about GOD. He runs that house. My Pastor is not the only person there who is rich with anointing to deliver the word. One monkey don't stop this show.

I don't know how else to explain to you my sincere love for my Church. I mean before I move I'd have to take into consideration the possibility of having to go to another Church which is NO BUENO. It's hard to find a great place of worship. When I put my money in the collection basket each Sunday I feel so proud that I am helping my Church continue to celebrate Christ in culture. I recognize that I am blessed EVERY day (not just Sunday) because of my Church and that is probably the #1 reason I love my Church. And boy does it feel so GOOD to be in love...

Our Own Worst Enemy

I was reading something, some day, the other day and came across this great quote: "The hardest arithmetic for us to master is that which enables us to count our blessings" Eric Hoffer. I couldn't help but reflect on the magnitude of the statement. How many times have you cheated yourself out of the blessings God has tried to give to you? Over looked blessing and opportunities because it showed up in work clothes? I've done it a lot of times unfortunately so I can relate.


Within the last year I've been making a conscious effort to accept all that the creator has put before me. The good the bad and even the ugly have been embraced. Sometimes when we are struck by lightening it is a stroke of luck. People cry out for the lord to give them strength, patience, etc. on a daily basis. I think what they fail to understand is that God will give you what you ask for but he'll present it to you in creative ways. You ask God for patience he will present you with a situation that will call for you to sit and WAIT. You ask God to give you strength and he will put you in a situation where you need to be strong. The same goes for anything else you ask for. Because God knows you he knows what he put in you. When he speaks to you he isn't speaking to your circumstance he speaks to your potential. Know that every situation presented to you is a opportunity to be blessed.

Its unfortunate that when things go wrong in our lives we forget that we are blessed. We are blessed EVERYDAY, of EVERY MINUTE, of EVERY HOUR. When we can't stand our boss we are blessed to have a job. When we curse our co-pay while we wait in the doctor's office we are blessed with good health. When we are vex over going over our minutes we are blessed with good friends and family that always want to talk to us. When we are trying to drown out the sound of our mother's nagging we are blessed to have parents who care about us. I mean I could go on and on (no really I could). But the next time you are pooper scooping your dog and it looks like the pooch had a bad Mexican burrito... think about all those long days at work when you come home and they are ALWAYS excited to see you. How often does THAT happen with a significant other, family member or your kid? I mean to them you are the next best thing since sliced bread and when you walk into a room you make them the happiest pooch in the world.

So stop suffering from OneTree-itis(Eve suffered from it. She could have any tree in the Garden of Eden but all she could focus on is the one tree she couldn't eat from). Count your blessings. All that is good and right far outweigh all that isn't. And of course remember that you are blessed to bless others so PASS IT ON...

Answer the call...

Now as stated before in a previous entry I became saved in the fall of 2007(Woohoo!!). Now I didn't go in too deep the reasons why I decided to take my life in that direction. Yes Mr. X (previously referred to as HIM in 'Consider this a favor...') was 'into God' and that played a part but I definitely felt the pull to renew my relationship with JC before I even knew who Mr. X was.

I don't know when it started but I felt inclined to rejoin the ranks in the body of Christ about a year before I step foot in a church. I had always assumed I'd take the leap at some point since I stopped going when I was about 15 (I had stopped caring long before then and was just attending to appease my Granny). I had friends and sorors who attended regularly but... eh *shrug* it wasn't time.


Then all of a sudden I became very interested in what would become of me after I died. Actually I think I started thinking about that after my brother was murdered. We were the same age except now he was dead and I wasn't. That can be a mind blowing revelation when your young. At an age where mortality was not a concern of my fellow college co-eds. I'd just graduated undergrad and was looking forward to starting graduate school I shouldn't of had a care in the world.




But I did. I wondered if I was going to heaven or hell. I was (am) a good person so I wanted to assume I'd be let in the pearly gates. I wanted to believe that all the good that I had done and would attempt to do would be good enough. But alas I was told repeatedly 'No'. If you do not confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus Christ is your savior why should you be able to enter God's kingdom upon your departure of this life? Don't ACT like a Christian BE a Christian!!

Man was I mad. So mad that I said 'who needs God anyways?!' If I could be a good person my entire life and die and not be accepted into his kingdom then it was HIS loss not mine. It baffled my mind that a person could go on a wild killing spree and on their become saved THEY could go to heaven and I couldn't. How unfair is that?!




So I put God in the back of my mind. But if you know God like I know my God he isn't 'put' anywhere. He'd pop up any and everywhere. But he made me stubborn. I refused to bend to someone will beyond my own. So even though I felt him nudging me in my side I continued to swat his ever present arm away. I'd occasionally appease him and have the once in awhile conversation with him. Let him know what I'd been up to. I even have a home girl who would invite me to church every Sunday and every Sunday it would be the same answer 'Next time homie'.

I met Mr. X (and I think God was talking to me through him). Then one day I finally realized HE doesn't need ME. But ohhh how I need him. And not later, not now but right NOW. I got over myself. And got 'into God'. He kept calling me. I ignored it for awhile he didn't give up on me and he kept me on speed dial. And he kept calling back no matter how often I hung up on him like he was a telemarketer ruining my dinner. I finally answered his call and I haven't hung up since (and don't plan to either). The thing about God is not only does he have unlimited minutes in his phone plan he also has a lot of phones. Its no secret what God can do. What he has done for others he can do for you. You can be as stubborn as I was or worse. But please understand me when I say: God loves it when he is called to do the impossible. For that all I can say is 'Glory to God'

I know that he Loves me...

I received many gifts today. I wasn't surprised though. My significant other is faithful, awesome and he loves me unconditionally. How am I so sure? Oh I KNOW: he makes sure to tell and show me everyday.He gives me flowers every spring, sunrise every morning, the moon and the stars in the sky every night.

He doesn't stop there either! He showers me with blessings. Friends, family and soRHOrs alike who remind me daily how much he loves me by putting them in my life. He reminds me how wonderfully I was made every time I'm complimented (even if it wasn't in good taste). And he gives me challenges and hardship to help build my character because he trust me enough to know I can make it through.

Even when I'm upset, sorrowful, or feeling down he is always there for me. I doubt I'll ever find another man who'll love me so faithfully and unconditionally but that's OK. Because even then I know my significant other will surround me in his love and whoever I'm with will be someone he sent for me on another level.

He 'cheats' on me and I don't mind lol. He loves you just as he loves me. Whether you know or love him he loves you as he loves me. He blesses you whether you choose to acknowledge his power or not. I love the Lord and it's because he loves me. And the most amazing part is that he doesn't wait until February 14th to let me know how he feels. He makes sure I know everyday of my life and when I forget at some point during the day he doesn't mind reminding me. I am truly blessed this Valentines Day and EVERY day.... And you are too.

It's the God in me

I have peace. I won't lie.. sometimes some people (who shall remain nameless) can steal it from me. But I work hard to get it back. But right now... I have peace. A very good friend of mine could possibly be sick. Like.. terminally (God forbid). But outside of the initial reaction and once in Church... I haven't cried about the situation. And I haven't really given into worry. A mutual friend of hours was speaking to me about the situation and initially I don't think they understood how I could be in a 'ok' state when our friend could possibly be very sick. I couldn't find a answer at first but as I meditated on it later I realized I was taking a page from the Bible... Romans 12:12 to be exact.
Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope; patient in affliction; and faithful in prayer. That was it in a nutshell. I couldn't waste time thinking the worst may happen when I could focus on the good that may happen. Some may say that I am in denial But I disagree. When something has the possibility of going wrong in our lives we tend to lean towards the wrong and not the right. Why cant we store most of our energy in hoping that things will work out? Trusting in the Lord? Having faith that regardless of what it may LOOK like KNOWING that he will take care of us regardless of what is going on in our lives? We are ALWAYS blessed even when we don't feel like it.
I won't lie and say that I haven't thought about the possibility that things may go in a negative direction but regardless of the outcome I KNOW that the Lord would give my friend and I strength to get through what may come. If I stay prayerful I know that I can continue to keep my peace. But prayer doesn't work without faith. Faith in God's word and his power. If I don't believe in what I am praying for then how can I, in faith, ask God to grant it for me? This is the true test of our faith in our Lord and Savior. It calls for us to above all Trust in the Lord with all thy heart... and Lean not on our own understanding.

Realize Your True Authentic Self...

On November 4Th 2007 I became Saved. I hadn't been to church for worship, REALLY prayed, basically done anything above the bare minimum of practicing any religion in so many years. I had been feeling the urge to go back for a couple months and it didn't hurt that my boyfriend at the time was 'into' God. We'd go thru the ritualistic 'How's your day' and I started to look forward to hearing how his Sundays were going. I mean to the point where I wanted to see about creating my own Sundays.

Well i walked into church that Sunday morning (after a all night party... I might still of had cold in my eyes but I digress...) and sat through the whole service and I'm like dang this man been stalking me? How he know my life? I mean I started checking my bag thinking dude had a wire tap or something laced in my wallet. Turning around in my seat trying to see if he had someone following me who was laying low in the back. Yo! I jumped when he said "Turn to your neighbor and tell 'em 'He talking about somebody you know'". I HAD to go up during the alter call. And when I went up there (half dragged by who I now refer to as my Spiritual Counselor) I bawled.. Like a baby. I mean you know its real tears when there is the snot running down your nose and you can't even bother to wipe it you just let it run. I was bawling. Before I completely lost it and reverted back to the kindergarten lick and slurp (You guys remember that move right? When the crying is getting out of control and u just mop it with your bottom lip Its a Kindergarten Classic) somebody handed me a Kleenex I cleaned myself up said Amen and my life was changed.

No I didn't change over night. I was still doing things I probably shouldn't... (I still do now! I tell SC all the time "I'm a New Christian gimmie a minute to get the hang of this I'm a work in progress.") But I was eating up the Word. I'd leave church feeling renewed and enlightened. And I understood that EVERY time I went to Church and I thought Pastor was talking exclusively for me that he was... (and to the person sitting in the seat next to me and behind me.) God is so awesome that way. There could be hundreds of people in the Church. Pastor could use the same words he used in every service that day... and God makes sure YOU got your message.

I think back to when I wasn't saved and I heard that question: What would Jesus do? I laughed so hard. I thought it was such a funny joke. I take that question so seriously now. I ask myself that question about three or four times a day. And I don't mean Jesus the Dominican at my corner store who usually knows which bag of chips I'm craving today. I'm talking Jesus Christ, Jah, Jehovah Jireh, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, My God, Mi dupes: JC!! I get the feeling to let dude on the train know that it isn't OK to sneeze anywhere near my direction in a very LOUD manner... I think: What would Jesus do? And I hand him some hand sanitizer and a Kleenex.

I don't claim to be the most learned Christian. I can't quote every scripture at the drop of a dime. I slip and curse (Father forgive me) when i get upset. And I struggle everyday when someone irritates me to not with a great sense of love lay a hand on them suddenly. But I try to do things God's way always. I leave you with this scripture I had to memorize soon as I got saved: Trust in the Lord with ALL thy heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV) Cause once I started doing that... Trust... My path was crooked but its getting real straight....