Rose-Colored Glasses...

So I was watching So You Think You Can Dance last night in real time and needed something to do during commercial breaks. Usually I watch it on my DVR so I fast Fwd past the commercials. Since I couldn't do that I decided to do a little Blog-hopping and read a Blog by The FlyGuy about Lauren London. He had built in his head a happily ever after scenario and now that she is Lil Wayne's Baby Mama #? that won't happen. One of the comments voiced their disappointment in Lauren to even be associated with Lil Wayne and it struck a cord with me. Since when did who we mess with dictate who we are enough to illicit disappointment?

I ask because I was told a few weeks ago that I disappointed someone who liked me for some time when he found out I messed with a mutual friend a few years ago. This mutual friend has a reputation for sleeping around. I of course didn't sleep around and apparently my stock fell when he found out.

Now of course I was offended for several reasons. 1. How did he even know I used to mess with dude? Why was it the business for anyone to pass along to whomever? 2. Why did MY stock fall because HE had on rose colored glasses? 3. Since when did who I mess with dictate who I am? Now I've had several follow-up conversations with this friend and I believe the air is clear but I felt the need to put this up so the rest of you wouldn't fall prey to this kind of thinking.

In no way shape or form am I saying who we deal with has no bearing on our character. But understand that you don't know the dynamics of a persons relationship with someone for you to judge them. Also we've all at some point or another had some kind of relationship with someone who has a checkered past (maybe even present AND future too). Either way judge not for you also will be judged.

To shed some light: this person I messed with I was aware of his reputation. He had become very known around the city business wise and some of that has gone to his head. But I'd known this person for YEARS by this time and got to know him WAY beyond his reputation of the last few years. We are all multifaceted human beings and are made up of so many different layers. This guy is no exception. His reputation undoubtedly eclipsed his true character. But it wasn't the core of who he was (or is for that matter). And why do people always assume the negative anyways? If I'm supposed to be this great person doesn't my friendship to this guy show there maybe more to him? Why did it have to mean there was less to me?

The problem I see in this whole scenario is not in my relationship with this guy; it lies within the relationship with the guy who was disappointed. He and I have known of each other for few years but we actually only really became friends this year. He was introduced to me by another friend and we would always say hello but it wasn't that deep. I'm assuming that through this limited interaction as well as things he may have heard from the person that introduced us he was able to see the kind of person I was. By his admission, he had me up on a pedestal. Granted I was flattered but I was quick to remind him I'm not perfect and he shouldn't have put me up there. As previously stated we are all multifaceted individuals. Yes I do consider myself a virtuous woman but I do have good and bad in me. NO ONE should ever think I am perfect.

I told dude his disappoint in me sounded like a personal problem. And that commenter's disappointment in Lauren London is a personal problem. If YOU'VE placed someone on a pedestal especially if its not someone you know very well the problem has already begun. Anything that person does from that point on is subject to have them tumbling off and that is thru no fault of their own. Take off your rose colored glasses and view people with new eyes. View them as they are NOT who you want them to be. Throw out those glasses people.