One Year Down

Every so often I go to HoneyMag.com and read their ezine. Its something I've done off and on for almost two years now. They have lots of articles and its where I first found out what blogs were. There were a few that I would check regularly; like A Belle in Brooklyn. There were a couple others whose names I can't remember. One in particular that I've thought about a lot in the last few days; was written by a woman somewhere on the west coast I believe and it was an OK blog. As I've taken more of a look at the blogging community I've read far more interesting ones but one particular post she did has captured my memory. She wrote a post about completing her 1st year of celibacy. Its probably at the forefront of my brain now because I too have a year of celibacy under my belt after this last weekend. I don't have a specific date as Labor Day marks the spot of my last game of varsity tonsil hockey.

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Accomplished? Eh I guess. Its just one year after the initial 3 months I hit my stride. Though in December I was going thru so much withdrawal I felt like a dope fiend. Excited? Mmmm... yea I'm that too I suppose. This is my equivalent to shouting it out on the roof tops. When I really sit and think about it... I'm just glad its over and now I'm rolling up my sleeve because I feel like I just completed the easy part.

You see I've gone without sex before; for much longer too. I didn't even lose my virginity till the ripe old age of 21 (to the disbelief of many and to this day many people STILL don't believe me). And though I enjoyed sex VERY much its not something that I couldn't go without. But for the past year I wasn't even dating anyone seriously and I didn't care too either. So there was no real temptation to deal with; minus some minor incidents. I have yet been faced with the opportunity to look sex in the face and say "Thanks, but no thanks". This year I've just laid the foundation.

This year I've been given that opportunity to come to terms with my celibacy. I was celibate for months before I even mentioned it to any of my friends. And even still longer before I could say it without shooting it out of my mouth like a bullet; just wanting to get it over with. I knew the weirded out looks and questions would follow my confession. I already knew how most of them felt about it as an X and I had given it a go before and they let me know then that it was ridiculous.

Now I look em square in the eye and remind them I'm celibate (I think some of them like to repress the memory of me telling them the first time so they tend to need some reminding). Friends that didn't know before that find out give me those weirded out looks I know all to well and I smile back. They ask questions and I answer with ease. And when thrown the sarcastic "Well good luck finding a man that way" I answer with unshakable faith in God to make the impossible possible. OK granted I need to remind myself of that one from time to time but motivation like bathing should be done daily; more than that on days when the heat is ON.

So as of right now I'm gearing up for the next round. The foundation is laid and now I'll be put to the test: dating. Telling a friend is different than telling someone who is interested in dating you. I've been told I have a body built for sex; curves in just the right places not to much and just enough(God blessed me with a great figure but it wasn't made for that). Imagine having to tell someone they won't be getting ANY of it until I've walked down an aisle with all white and a ring on. Ha! That IS the plan too you know. If I fall at some point before that happens I'll get back on and give it a go again.

But right now there is no looking back. I'm a year in and who knows how long to go and I am going to roll up my sleeve and push on. I know people who have 10, 15, and 30 yrs behind (please lord don't make me wait that long! Ha!) them. Its going to be a long (again Lord I'm just saying lets not make it TOO long) and interesting ride...