So I come to you today seeking enlightenment. I've been getting the side-eye, smirks, and shakes of the head lately for comments I've made about weeding out undesirable. Now I'm just curious because a lot of the reasons I've ceased to consider dating some of these dudes I thought wasn't unreasonable. So... that only leaves me with the question: When did Women become so accepting of low standards?? Why is it that me asking for the minimum is deemed as seeking "High Standards"?
Just to clarify for you guys I can give you some of the reasons I've weeded out some dudes:
*Main mode of conversation is thru text. Now I am a 26yr old female not 16 or 15. Why would any dude who wants me to believe we are worthy of each others time text me all the time? I have a cell phone, house phone, and a job phone. That's 3 different ways to call me but you want to text me all the time? SMH I'm going to need more than the occasional text message. If I met dude online (Special is NOT above online dating) I can get down with emails back and forth for a minute before I give my number and we converse some more. But please Please PLEASE do NOT text me to death. I just don't understand why men in their late 20s and early 30s want to spend majority of their free time texting OMG, ttyl, and other madness. AGAIN SMH....
*Lack of faith/No respect for my faith. I wouldn't consider myself a bible thumper (wateva that is lol I heard the term on another blog and apparently its NO BUENO) but I do love me some JC. I go to Church and bible study regularly, read my bible, and try to please, trust in and acknowledge God in all that I do (wait maybe I am a bible thumper). Its difficult for me to consider a relationship with someone who has no or doesn't respect my faith. I'd only become annoying to them and I don't need them trying to coax me to sin however innocent it may be. And please don't get me wrong. Mr. X is saved and when we started dating I wasn't. I look back at some of the things I said or did that wasn't respectful to his faith and I did it without knowing so it does happen.
*Not corresponding regularly. Ok so at least 3 dudes have responded "Wow" when I informed them I didn't remember them after they texted/IM'd me randomly one day. I've stopped saving numbers in my phone becuz I got tired of deleting guys out eventually; so anyone that calls me regularly I recognize their #. But if you call me once a month and you deem this "courting me" why would you be surprised that I don't remember you? You yourself opened the conversation saying "Long time no chat". I will admit I get busy every so often and don't link people but if its someone I'm interested in I start off with a hi this is special then an apology for being MIA linked with minor explanation and then I say how have u been.
*Dates. Ok I had to throw all my issues with dates in dis one paragraph. 1. Why are u asking me out on a text msg? A voice call is needed for an invitation to hang out. 2. Why are u asking me out when you don't know me very well? I've noticed people are quick to say let's hang out and they haven't learned your last name yet. Can't we converse a bit before you decide you want to spend money on me? In the amount of phone calls we could have BEFORE a date we can find out enough to figure out if we even want to hang in person. Its a recession! 3. Why are you asking me out day of? Ok I'm all for spontaneity but I do have a heavy schedule and I can't drop plans so easily. Its disrespectful to whoever I had plans with and doesn't respect my time either. Can't a sistah get some advanced notice? When people do this sometimes it gives me the impression that they believe my schedule revolves around theirs.
So please blog family enlighten me. I find it kind of sad that some have settled for this kind of behavior and think that expecting more from someone who is supposed to be courting them as high standards. If you were applying for a job and you didn't reach your interviewer would you not leave a message? One friend said "well that's important." Uhhh.. and I'm not? As far as I'm concerned at the age of 26 and no longer interested in dating for kicks and giggles there is no reason for me to be interested in dating someone who isn't ACTIVELY interested in dating me. May my standards be deemed to high. As far as I'm concerned I'm worth it.
"Don't doubt for a second that you're not valued. Or for a moment that you're not special. Don't compromise your standards because it's convenient. Or accept less than to stay en vogue. Because if you make your options few and your expectations great, your rewards will undoubtedly be spectacular, more than worth the wait."
I don't think your standards are too much to ask for at all.
ReplyDeleteAs you said, it's pretty sad how women have been becoming so accepting of the bad behavior. It's actually making us look bad- because we have standards, we are looked at as high mainintenance or even worse, b&*hes.