Maybe We Can Be Friends...

At the ripe young age of 27 Ive had my fair share of relationships. Relationships with family, relationships with friends, and of course relationships with boys(I've had A LOT of those. Not one with a man yet...but I'm working on it). Throughout my years and relationships with these people I've been loved, used, inspired, betrayed, taught, and a host of other verbs that have shaped me into this fine young lady you read before you (I rocketh majorly). I've always been a believer that (wo)man does not grow in isolation. As the name of my 3rd grade social studies book says: People need People.

I think the most important thing I did learn was that relationships are work. They are tough jobs that sometimes have sucky pay and benefits. But when you work for the right people... the experience can change you to the very core of your being. Sometimes for the good and if you don't watch yourself sometimes for the bad. I heard a quote once that went something like we aren't what happens to us but how we react to what happens to us. So you have to be mindful of all that you go through. Having the right heart attitude is very important.
But before you even get to all of that you should be mindful of the people you keep around you. The people you pour, and allow to pour into your life. After hearing the list of a good friend of mine I decided to create my own. Its a list of the characteristics I need in someone I have a relationship with. Notice I said need and not want. I'm the first person to admit I think I know everything. As human beings we think we know whats best for us but unfortunately what we want may not entirely be what we need. Also notice I said someone I have a relationship with. This isn't a list of for just the people you want to have an romantic relationship with. This goes for all people that I want to have a relationship with. That means people I'm friends with from work, school. or the nearest coffee house...or krispy kreme donut shop since I don't drink coffee. Unfortunately family doesn't necessarily have to abide by this list as you can't shake some of 'em even if you wanted to. But I digress... Here goes everything:

*Love me NOT my gift- In this day and age far too many people are opportunist. They are looking to find out how you can bless them. I'd much rather people like me for ME and not what I can do for them.

*Understand the call of God on my life- This is pretty self explanatory.. I live to please God and not man if you not with it you can kindly keep on moving..

*Encourage; not discourage- I need people around me who are going to lift me up and not try to bring me down. The crabs in a bucket mentality is not needed around me.

*Reciprocal- I'm a firm believer hat you should not ask for what you cannot give. I try my absolute best to be a good friend to the people I have in my life.. I think its fair to ask the same in return.

*Respect- Seriously in this day and age we are teaching folks to disrespect one another far more than we teach them to respect each other. I for one don't need any disrespectful folks in my circle.

*Benefit of the doubt- I need the people in my relationships to give me the opportunity to state my case before they assume I've done something wrong. If you hear something out of doors about me come speak to me before you condemn me.

*Understand that I'm a private person- I LOVE to have 'me' time. I need those around me to understand that sometimes... I just like to be alone. I'm a lot to handle at times.. even for me.. I like to just get alone and just BE

*Understands that I'm a open person- I LOVE being around people.. Haha I know after reading the last criteria your probably shaking your head.. But even though I love my 'me' time I love to give and draw on the energy of others. Yes I'm as comfortable in the center of the room full of people as I am off in the corner with a book. Its another part of me being me.

*Trust- Trust is the foundation of relationships... If I can't trust you I do not want you around me. That's it.. I need not say anymore.

*Dry shoulder- I'm not a much of a crier... but when I need a shoulder to cry on... I'd expect my friends to fill that space. If not.. what are you there for?

*Willing ear- I talk a lot (Have you not read one of my long winded blogs?) Sometimes I just need someone to... listen. Just to listen.

*Respects Boundaries- Boundaries preserve the respect in relationships. We could go back like shackles and ankles and I'd still need you to respect certain boundaries.

Now that you've seen my list what about you? What do you need (feel free to throw a want here and there) from the people you share yourself with.