Aspirations of Brokeness

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When I was younger I was notorious for swiping loose change from my mom to buy junk food (who am I kidding I still am). Back in the day when you needed had to wait a couple days to be issued a bus pass to go to and fro school my mom would give me bus fare and I'd walk to school and spend the money on junk to munch on during the trip. My inner child was and still is a fat kid. Matter of fact I was pleasantly plumb in Junior High School so that WAS the fat kid.

That memory popped into my head today as I looked at my sorry behind checking account. Normally I'd look so happy; its pay day. But yesterday I paid all of my bills and today the money was withdrawn. I don't even want to tell you how much is left but hint: its in the single digits. SMH

I so long for the days when I wanted money in my pocket so I could buy a snickers bar. Or money so I could grab a cheeseburger from mickey dees. These days I'm thinking cable bill, student loans, and cell phone surcharges. I think back to those days when I had 50cents and all was right with the world. Now you can't even get a candy bar for that much (they cost at least 75cents now. Who can afford such indulgences?).

Now I'm thinking can I buy a house in 10yrs? What does my retirement fund look like? Mmmm can I afford to buy lunch tomorrow or maybe I should paper bag it? Wait do I HAVE a paper bag?! Between paying bills, rent, and adding to my rainy day (which is currently only suitable for a partly cloudy kind of day) fund I aspire to be broke. I hope to get a couple dollars in my pocket so that I can buy a snickers bar play on the monkey bars and pretend that I'm 11 again, and I have not a care in this world besides figuring out how to finish this candy before my sister asks for a piece.

I know that day is far off though because I've enrolled myself in a strict budgeting system for the next few months. (Yea I often challenge myself to reach all kinds of goals.) As it stands I'm only allowed to spend $30 a week; outside of bills, rent, tithing/offerings of course. And I'm only allowed the 30 on Thursdays and into the weekend. For any and everything else I put my faith and trust in God to provide. I may asp to be broke but I don't have a poverty mentality/mindset. I am VERY wealthy where it matters. But I do recognize now more than ever we need to save and be more mindful of how we're spending our money. And because of this recognition I'm trying to be more responsible; which SO depletes my fun money. Ugggh now I REALLY want a Snickers!