Now if anybody knows Special I am NOT a big fan of losing control. I've stated before that I've had control issues in the past. Having control means that I have structure in my life. I am not vulnerable to anyone or anything when I have control. I wish I had the ability to turn my feelings on and off but God didn't think I needed that so.....
Well during the course of the aforementioned conversation Kentucky decided to enlighten me on why I was able to get over one X faster than the other. Love school is what I'll call it. Puppy Love, Love, REAL Love. You graduate from one before you move on to the other. Some people are lucky(?) enough to go through all stages with one person. While the rest of us are left to go thru a parade of loves until we find the coveted third stage. Love is something so profound that I personally don't think its something we can fully absorb the first go round. So we get a chance to absorb it in stages. Let me explain...
Imagine having to take your Regents (shout out to NYC schools) exam in kindergarten... Not a good time huh? You need to go through elementary, junior high, and then go that final lap in high school before you are deemed knowledgeable enough to even take the Regents exam. I think Love is the same way. You need to go through a series of stages before you can really appreciate and maintain that last stage of love. The stages are Puppy Love(Elementary School), Love (Junior High School), and then REAL Love (High School). Now I am no Love Guru or anything I am only in the Junior High level of my Love learning experience so take anything that I say with a grain of salt.
Elementary School: Puppy Love. Puppy Love is that first stage. We meet someone who we become more than infatuated with and even debate if we may be in (looks around and lowers voice to a whisper) love with them. Its like elementary stage of this whole love game. We learn the basics of love. Realize what that whole electricity and butterflies in the stomach is when its taken to a whole other level. We figure out the good things that can come from love but also the bad. Its like an introductory course. There is NO getting to junior high school (Love) without graduating from this stage. The major disadvantage is that there is a lot of bumbling and fumbling around because we are new to this. The major advantage is that we get a chance to learn so much. Its like an awakening of all that love has to offer; which can never be a bad thing. When this stage is over it can hurt. I'd liken it to getting hit by someone on a bicycle. You get a couple scrapes, some bumps and bruises. but at the end of the day you live. You get up off the ground and dust your self off and move on to the next.
Junior High School: Love. Love is the second stage. We have graduated from Puppy Love and are (supposed to be) able to handle a relationship that is a bit deeper. We can actually finesse our way into this relationship and can actually maintain it as well... to a point. The main reason this is Junior High School and NOT High School is because this stage is flawed. Just like Junior High Schoolers we are stuck in between two very important stages. We think we're grown and we 'Got This'. Unfortunately we don't; we just have the basic tools to obtain a Love relationship. We still can't take a Regents exam we do not yet poses the knowledge to get anything above RCT credit(not passing but better than sucking score ex. 55 when I was in HS). Also depending on who you ask a (dis)advantage to this stage is that you can go through it a billion times. You can fall in love so many times and then turn around and fall right out again. Which brings me to the major disadvantage: its not unconditional; its a baby. It isn't capable of maintaining something solid. It's not strong and when dealt the trials and tribulations that come with a relationship it doesn't bend; it breaks. Unrequited Love is usually in this stage as well. There is usually uneveness in feelings with both parties. Theor may even be Love on both sides but the intensity may not be where it should. But the major advantage to this stage is that you can move on. You may go through Junior High School a couple (billion) times. But your able to break free from the person (i did NOT say it would be easy) emotionally. I'd liken this to getting hit by a car. It hurts way more than getting knocked over by someone on a bicycle but depending on the speed of that car you can spend a couple days/weeks in the hospital and then you can move on. This time it's harder; much harder. You've gotten over the actual car wreckage but you remember the pain of recovery and you question if you even want to go at it again. Which is what usually keeps you in Junior High School to go a 2nd round.. or 3rd.. or.....
High School: REAL Love. REAL Love is the third and final stage. We've managed to graduate from Junior High to get into the thick of things. REAL Love!! We are in the final stages of our Love School experience. Just the opportunity to make it to High School is something to be celebrated. So many people get stuck in the Junior High mentality they never make it it out. They always make it to that last stage and right before its time to enter into High School they get that 'Promotion in Doubt' letter. So just the opportunity to make it to High School is a battle not easily won. REAL Love is the big leagues. You learn the necessary tools that allow you to obtain and then MAINTAIN that relationship. Not many people can do this. I mean to see it in action its... its really beautiful. And its power is awesome as well. You literally can't live without the other person. Ever heard of those couples that day within days of each other or at most about 16 months? REAL Love right there. Advantage... do I really need to say it? It's unconditional, it can whether the storm, it doesn't break it bends. Its unselfish and it is wise enough to know that perfection in a partner is a fairy tale. And unlike Love, REAL Love serves as a union between the two they both REALLY Love each other which is why the bond is so strong and not easily broken (That was a GREAT movie by the way Check it Out!!). Disadvantages? It varies depending on who you ask. Some people have been so scarred by Love that the concept alone of REAL Love makes them uncomfortable. They want no part of it. When you get hit this time... Its like a mack truck. There is NO getting up. You are down for the count. Or is there...? You've heard me say it once then you've heard me say it a million times: God is Love. His version of love would be REAL love and beyond. He got the Ph.D. He can do impossible things. So some people are able to get hit by that mack truck and get back up again. And no that doesn't mean that they didn't have REAL Love that first time; it just means they've been blessed to experience it twice. I honestly don't think it can happen more than twice. And I know several people that I know that don't think it can even happen more than once. But then again.. some argue the existence that it happens even once is questionable.
I'm a huge Will Smith fan. I've loved him since the days of the Fresh Prince (and I'm convinced he is just having a Jada-phase right now But I digress..). He did a movie called Hancock a year ago. In the movie the underlining story (spoiler alert) was that their is a ying yang kind of thing going with Will and Charlize Thereon. Basically they are both superheroes and there were many others like them. They were all paired off. The thing was that they all couldn't be around each other if they wanted to maintain their powers and immortality. If they chose to be together they had to kiss all of that goodbye. They would age and grow old and die just like the rest of us. The others like them chose to live without their powers, the chance to live forever to be with their REAL Love. They graduated from Love school. They passed their Regents exams with flying colors and just like in real school they are now challenged to put all that knowledge to the test after graduation. Now begins the real work...
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