So I was having a chat session with a good friend of mine on Gchat in between working hard and hardly working and she was telling me how romantic her bf is. How he'd draw her a bath or feed her fruit, do massages, etc. And I couldn't help but feel a little envious. Not for the man perse... but for the romance.
I can't remember the last time a dude tried to romance me. Granted some believe romance is for after marriage but I can't co-sign that 100%. I don't need my bath drawn or a massage; as that would only endanger my celibacy. A lil wooing is necessary in courtship no? Can a sistah get a berry? It doesn't even have to be dipped in chocolate! A candlelight dinner perhaps? Or even some flowers. The last time a guy gave me flowers was 4yrs ago when he was late for our date. Which was great; I truly appreciated the gesture. He came with a dozen red roses and I remember thinking "Mmm.. this is nice". Prior to that FavX bought me a beautiful bouquet for my 21st birthday. I will admit that having not received flowers I convinced myself that I didn't want them. I've even been quoted as saying "Who wants flowers? They die anyways". Well I realize I want them.. no matter how long they last.
When I mentioned this to my friend she admitted before this guy there wasn't a lot of romance either. We concluded that at some point in time guys have become lazy. Doing only the bare minimum to get the girl. If he doesn't HAVE to buy some flowers or a piece of candy then why bother? I'd love to blame other females for this. On some fronts I feel like wen a female allows a guy to get away for somethin she makes it harder for another female such as myself. So if you have scores of females who will open themselves up to you having done no work at all then hey why bother to deal with the girl you actually have to call, take out, buy a flower or two. But I can't blame it 100% on other females. I've become a strong believer in what others do shouldn't dictate what you do. So if a guy wants to do something nice for a Lady even if she is willing to give it to him for free he should still do it if its REALLY in his character to do so.
I think it depends how badly dude wants said lady. If a guy really wants you he'll go hard. He'll put his best foot forward and try to romance you. Even if its just to get the booty. They will work for it! And ladies your not exempt either. Think back to the last time you romanced your significant other (and I don't mean the time you took that pole dancing class to surprise him for his birthday). When was the last time you went out got your hair and nails 'did', cooked him a meal and gave him a back rub? And it was just Tuesday?! Not Christmas, Valentines Day, or his birthday... it was just Tuesday.
I can't remember the last time a dude tried to romance me. Granted some believe romance is for after marriage but I can't co-sign that 100%. I don't need my bath drawn or a massage; as that would only endanger my celibacy. A lil wooing is necessary in courtship no? Can a sistah get a berry? It doesn't even have to be dipped in chocolate! A candlelight dinner perhaps? Or even some flowers. The last time a guy gave me flowers was 4yrs ago when he was late for our date. Which was great; I truly appreciated the gesture. He came with a dozen red roses and I remember thinking "Mmm.. this is nice". Prior to that FavX bought me a beautiful bouquet for my 21st birthday. I will admit that having not received flowers I convinced myself that I didn't want them. I've even been quoted as saying "Who wants flowers? They die anyways". Well I realize I want them.. no matter how long they last.
When I mentioned this to my friend she admitted before this guy there wasn't a lot of romance either. We concluded that at some point in time guys have become lazy. Doing only the bare minimum to get the girl. If he doesn't HAVE to buy some flowers or a piece of candy then why bother? I'd love to blame other females for this. On some fronts I feel like wen a female allows a guy to get away for somethin she makes it harder for another female such as myself. So if you have scores of females who will open themselves up to you having done no work at all then hey why bother to deal with the girl you actually have to call, take out, buy a flower or two. But I can't blame it 100% on other females. I've become a strong believer in what others do shouldn't dictate what you do. So if a guy wants to do something nice for a Lady even if she is willing to give it to him for free he should still do it if its REALLY in his character to do so.
I think it depends how badly dude wants said lady. If a guy really wants you he'll go hard. He'll put his best foot forward and try to romance you. Even if its just to get the booty. They will work for it! And ladies your not exempt either. Think back to the last time you romanced your significant other (and I don't mean the time you took that pole dancing class to surprise him for his birthday). When was the last time you went out got your hair and nails 'did', cooked him a meal and gave him a back rub? And it was just Tuesday?! Not Christmas, Valentines Day, or his birthday... it was just Tuesday.
As men and women we need to cater to each other a little more. Even if you can't buy some flowers a 'Just Thinkin about You' ecard works wonders to make a someone smile! Or even a text message saying something cute like "I can barely concentrate on work because I'm so busy thinking about your beautiful smile..." Oh! Or leaving little notes around their apt or house. Not the stalker kinds of notes. Just little thinking of you stuff you know. They may not find it for a few days or a few weeks but it would be a nice surprise. So bring out the romance people. Don't be afraid to let them know they are Somethin' Special!
It's hard. It's also about the messages we send into the universe, right? Like that book The Secret. If you do open yourself up to that romance, what else are you opening yourself up to?
ReplyDeleteTrue BUT u have to understand that in life if we kept ourselves closed off to things we would never be living at all.
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