I've hit a wall.. or rather... a wall of bubble wrap. I'm missing stuff. What kind of stuff you ask.... relationship stuff. I truly am and I have no idea what to do about this problem. Its all new to me. Prior to my last relationship I wasn't big on the whole relationship thing. I've been called 'wifey material' a billion and one times in the past but **shrug** I never really cared to do the whole girlfriend thing. I was so into school and me and I don't know what else I just wasn't interested in that kind of 'stuff'. I've always been talking to someone so I was never without someone even when I wasn't the 'girlfriend'. This is the first time I've been like literally Single and there is no 'ready to mingle'. Apparently Mr.X has made me soft. With this whole dating hiatus thing it is becoming increasingly difficult for the serial dater in me to give in to these cravings.
I miss going out with someone who is interested in finding out about me past the friendship faze.
I miss jonesin on the phone till late into the night.
I miss wake up phone calls.
I miss listening to silly voice messages.
I miss kissing.
I miss long hugs.
I miss arguing because I care way to much.
I miss arguing because I don't care at all.
I miss secret smiles and winks.
I miss the nerve racking first phone calls when i refuse to pretend to be someone else and wonder if you won't think I'm not crazy enough to burn my number.
I miss hysterically laughing about a private joke in front of company.
I miss pretending like I don't want them to hold my hand.
I miss so much and I'm not exactly sure what to do about it. This is all very new to me and if I didn't put myself on this whole dating ban I'd probably just go on a dating binge. But one of the reasons I decided to do this in the first place is because I don't want to date just to date anymore. Seeing someone for shyts and giggles doesn't appeal to me anymore. Dating for sport is something I have done in excess and I am SO over it now. So really what is a girl to do? I can't date until July and I am craving some serious human contact.... Woe is me. WOE IS ME! Suggestions would definitely be helpful.... And suggesting that I just give up the ban are NOT acceptable. I need to be able to finish this. I loathe quitting...
oooooh the cravings. I am wayyy to familiar with them (Lord knows!). When me and my ex ended it, the only thing that I missed about the relationship was the LOVE. You know, genuine love - someone who's there just because. Someone who you can simply be yourself around without all the..."i wonder if he likes me, how I like him" crap. LOL
ReplyDeleteNot dating anyone until July is a choice you made for yourself. And you are a strong, smart woman so Im sure its for a good reason. I think this "being alone" experiment is BRAVE. Im not sure if I can do it yet. One thing that I do, do is-- i fill my space and time with friends, family, events, traveling...you name it! Anything to make me forget that I miss the "LOVE". LOL
July is not that far. Use your closest loved ones to fill that space for now...that's what they are there for. It's spring time, so there will be lots to do with ppl you care for. YOU CAN DO IT! :)