You Reap What You Sow

I know you've heard the term before. Its from the good book; the bible. At its simplest form it means: you get out what you put in. Its very true though. I've been thinking about this a lot lately in terms of relationships. Not just romantic relationships but relationships on the family and friendship levels as well. Even at work; it is WHO you know. If you don't invest in these relationships you can't reap a good harvest.

As previously stated I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Its a new year and we all tend to become reflective. What went right the previous year as well as what went wrong. I noticed the other day that I have 1600+ facebook friends. As most of you may have guessed I'm a member of a Black Greek Letter Organization (Sorority for those of you unfamiliar with the term BGLO). So a lot of these friends are Greeks I'm networking with but beyond that the majority are people I know very well. I'm a social butterfly and making new friends is something I love doing.But I found myself thinking of the numerous relationships I hold not just on fbook but off; and if I was investing into these relationships. Sadly I wasn't. I thought off all the people I call best friend, good friend, etc. and some of these folks I either wasn't fulfilling my role as friend to them or vice verse. So I decided to start investing in these relationships. Be it the ones that I wasn't doing my part or the ones where the other person was lolly gagging I made it my business to sowing into their lives.

Now I want to point out that this isn't something I began this month. We tend to reflect on the year before the ball drops but I wait until the ball drops to get to work. So this is something I have been working at for the last couple of months. I've restored some cherished relationships and realize others have reached their expiration date. The thing is though....some of these people seem oblivious.

They don't realize you reap what you sow. They expect to put nothing/bare minimum into the relationship and expect to reap the benefits of work unseen. Someone I once considered a very good friend of mine will receive an invitation to my wedding but she won't be apart of the wedding party. (No I'm not engaged... YET! Princess cut for 2010 Owwwww! Speak it into existence people). I jokingly made a comment to this friend about this and she became indignant like how dare I even joke about that. When in my head I'm thinking... Why would you expect that when you don't invest in our relationship?

I tell you all of this as a cautionary tale. Many of you may find yourself with one or two less friends this year. And when I say friend this could be someone in your family or someone your dating. Friendship is the foundation of ANY relationship and if you don't sow into these relationships you may find yourself with a very patchy harvest.

Have you found yourself in a similar reflective mode? What does your harvest look like? Or maybe you see a couple crops you will be letting go into the next season in your life? And how do you deal with relationships that you have to let go?

I Still Believe In Fairytales

So I just finished watching Enchanted.. I don't know if any of you have seen this Disney film but its actually not quite bad. It was pretty good actually. I DVR'd it a few weeks ago and actually only got to watch it this afternoon. The basics of the story is a cartoon chick is thrown into the real world after meeting Prince Charming whom she was about to get married to. Now in the real world she finds out Happily Ever After aren't definite. I won't spoil it for you by saying how it ends but its a Disney film so you probably already know.

To be honest I actually became a bit teary eyed watching the film. The film is wrapping up and I'm sitting there on my couch wrapped in what could only be called my "blankey" and my throat gets tight and my eyes start to well up. Not because the story was sad. But because one of the central themes in the story was that Happily Ever Afters do exist and its something I believe as well.

Yes big hard back tuff 26 year old Somethin Special still believes in fairytales. Growing up these stories were drummed into our minds. They told us we just had to sit and wait and some gorgeous man was going to ride up on a gorgeous horse and sweep us off our feet; make us his queen and we would live Happily Ever After. And then at some point we got older are told to wake up it can't happen. There is no such thing as a prince charming and absolutely no happily ever after. We should hope for a good 5-10yrs at the most get a prenup and always keep a side bank account because we are going to need it when we bounce out. As a matter of fact don't get married just date around awhile and best case scenario someone with some sense may live with you. Two very different extremes. But what about the middle?

What about a Happily Ever After not with Prince Charming but with the average guy who doesn't sing on cue and is a bit jaded? What about the early morning bad breath kisses, late afternoon arguing mixed in with a great makeup session kinda fairytale? The kind where you love fiercely and fight each other with passion too. The kind where you get spitting mad but know that your love is strong enough to get through whatever trial and tribulation your currently dealing with? I believe in that kind of happily ever after.

I'm not naive enough to think that Happily Ever After's aren't riddled with 'bad times' along with all those good times. But when did people stop believing that 'Forever' was the fairytale? Who started this horrible rumor that we shouldn't aspire to long lasting relationships anymore because there is no Prince, we are not Princesses, and we couldn't partner with someone to rule a kingdom? And why oh why did we believe them just as easily as we did those fairy tales we were fed as children?

I actually realized that I was amongst a small minority that still believed that kind of love existed after watching a movie with two girlfriends of mine. That was Up In The Air (another good movie by the way). Without giving out the movie there was a women in the film that kind of stepped all over the heart of one of the characters in 9 inch stilettos right when he began to think Happily Ever Afters do exist.

Now there are people like this women; men too as we all know. That wasn't what triggered my epiphany actually. It was the high fives of my two friends accompanied by the cheers and saying she was their new hero. Huh? Did I miss something? Why aspire to hurt I asked? They basically said hey love n life is like that and they'd prefer to be the ones doing it. My pleas that no one should do that and we should be aspiring to love one another actually got me the side eye. They just weren't buying the fairytale and would prefer to have fun and hurt others before they themselves got cut.

If you don't truly believe that kind of love exist outside of God then how do u expect to ever receive it? If you don't believe in Happily Ever Afters how are you ever going to have your own. Love is hard. Relationships are hard. Forever is hard. But the if you want it you have to at least believe it exist. So as I blink those tear away and cleared my throat this afternoon I proclaimed loudly in my apartment "I believe in Happily Ever Afters!" And whoever doesn't agree with me I respectfully say to you with a smile on my face "You can shove it".