Three Ways To Take It

Greeeeetings Ladies and Gents!

Its time for the BLOG OF THE MONTH! Owwwwwwwww!! This month I am going to highlight a blog that was introduced to me by my bestie (is it kosher to call a male friend a bestie? *shrug*) months ago. I actually ran up on this blog again because one of the authors for the blog also writes on another blog that I frequent. This blog is:

Three Ways To Take It "2 Guys. 1 Girl. Not a Train." That tag line cracks me up every time I read it. This blog is written by you guessed it two males and a female.. hence them naming it 3 ways. It gives the reader a much broader point of view to look at; which I love. The authors are Seattle Washington, Sowahtiff Jenkins aka Miss Jenkins, and Slim Jackson. They are even nominated for the 2009 Black Weblog Awards.

I love this blog because they keep me entertained when I am on a much needed break from work. The content on the blog is always interesting. I think as it stands my favorite post is "Things you should not say to Black people". Its eclectic they don't just write about dating, or sex, etc. Sometimes a sistah wants to forget about the dating scene and talk about something else. ANYTHING ELSE!!

There isn't much I don't like about this blog. They keep the explicit language to a minimum and majority of the material is tasteful.. Then again I did say the MAJORITY. There are some posts that make me raise an eyebrow (See post "You Don't Want No Face") Call me a prude if you want but I can't read an abundance of overly sexual material before I'm like oooook how bout them Knicks? That particular post isn't horribly bad *shrug*

Overall this blog is great and I think you will LOVE it. So please take a moment to check out Three Ways To Take It!! www.threewaystotakeit.com

Troubled Tuesdays

It started sometime around 12AM.. I don't know why. I just felt very off kilter. I spent longer than usual trying to fall asleep. I tossed and turned for hours. I woke up and fell back to sleep at least twice. I chalked it up to having not finished a conversation with someone I was interested in. Brushed that dirt off my shoulder and finally at some point was able to fall asleep.

By morning I wake up reach for my glass and they break right in my hands. RIGHT IN MY HANDS!! I look at the clock and after staring at it squinting for a few seconds I realize I was supposed to leave the house 20minutes before. At that moment I realize the enemy is after me today. I knew I was going to be hit a couple of times today and I vowed not to let him win.

I try in vain to fix my glasses to no avail. I then proceed to get myself together and leave the house to head to work. I call my boss to let her know I will be late to which she informs me that I'm in charge today as she has a headache and is running late as well. I get off the train near my job to the realization that I have voicemail. Its my older sister; she is also late for work someone jumped in front of her train this morning...

I arrive at the office with a brewing headache and a sense of foreboding. I find out the closest Len Crafters to my job is about 35-40mins away but its a troupe I will make during my lunch break. Its looking like over $400 are needed to fix the classes. For some strange reason I find myself holding back tears on more than two different occasions and its not even 12PM yet. My heart just feels so heavy. I can't figure out why I am feeling so down. I know I said I feel like the enemy is after me but geez I can't pin point something specific to have me feeling this way right now. Broken glasses are not enough. And lord I do feel for however it is that felt the need to jump in front of a moving train but I don't know. I feel the need for a ice cream sundae, and a hug. I'm building up my spiritual arsenal today people... For some reason I have a strange feeling that the days troubles have only begun. *le sigh* May the Lord be with me.

A Prayer for Michael

Heavenly Father,

I come to you today in a state of utter shock and mourning. A true legend has passed away. A true Icon not just to African-Americans but to ALL people. He was a man that transcended all colors, creed, languages, etc. He was a man that influenced millions of generations. Generations of people. Dancers, Singers, Writers, etc. He changed the game as far as music videos go. He was truly a genius when it came to the music industry. We know his personal trials and tribulations, we've heard the good the bad and the ugly. But overall we know that we must walk in love, Lord. We know that it is your job to place judgement on any man's life.

May his family and friends find strength in your arms. May his fans find solace in his music. May the people who he helped through his philanthropy continue to have blessings rain upon them. And may those who feel slighted by anything he may have said or done to them be blessed with the spirit of forgiveness so they can live free of the pain and bitterness that might continue to plague them.

Lord I pray that before his passing he made his peace with you and received Jesus Christ as his savior. Lord I pray that you receive him, Lord I pray that all future generations will never forget how much of a legend he is... Lord I would also like to pray for the salvation of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, David Carradine, Bea Arthur and all the others who have lost their lives this month. We have truly lost some special people. Michael your journey did not end yesterday... Your life's journey will live on for generations to come. I pray that you are truly happy now... In Jesus name.. AMEN

Be RHOyal.... Be a Queen!!

Queen: A woman eminent in power or attractions; the highest of her kind; as, a queen in society; -- also used figuratively of cities, countries, etc. a woman, or something personified as a woman, that is foremost or preeminent in any respect

I love all Ladies independent or not but regardless if a chick is paying her own bills, her baby daddy is, or her sugar daddy is plenty of us (yes US) have a lot to learn about being a Queen. Especially when it comes to dating and relationships. You ask a woman what she wants out of a relationship be it marriage or just a dating relationships and she tells yous all that she wants her man to do for her. To often females are wrapped up in what they want out of a partner they never get around to what they can give. You cannot get a King if you are not a Queen.

What do YOU as a women have to offer a man? Do you make the grade on several levels? Physically: your looking for Will Smith/Morris Chestnut but you keep a sloppy appearance? Mentally: You want an Einstein and you don't care to strengthen your own mind? It may not be a muscle but it still needs to exercise! Emotionally: You want someone without drama but your still holding on to that break-up in 3rd grade when you got dumped for the girl that ate paste? Personality: You want someone whose insides are excessively awesome yet you lack the capacity to excel past your inner beauty. Spiritually: You want a God-fearing/loving man but can't remember the last time you stepped inside a Church much less opened your bible and soaked up God's Word. To often females aren't worthy of the men they seek. If you want to get a King you need to focus on becoming a Queen.

Physical beauty is something that can only be affirmed by whoever is looking. What look good to Mike may not look good to Paul. But I think that there are some overall things that every Queen should strive for: (1) Take care of your skin. Light/dark or a Brownin be mindful of your skin. Wash your face regularly and try to avoid dark spots. Drink lots of water to keep it hydrated. Also use good products to keep your skin soft. I haven't met a man yet that appreciates tough/rough skin. (2) Wear your weight well. Whether your a size 0 or a 26 somebody is interested. Whatever you weigh you need to wear your clothes well. Buy close that fit YOU not your favorite actress or recording star. It may look good on the mannequin but look disastrous on you. (3) Be Healthy. Regardless of what you weigh be mindful of your own body. At 25/35 or even 45 you shouldn't get winded or achy after going up a flight of steps! NO BUENO. Exercise and eat right it can only help.

Mental stimulation is something everyone is interested in on some level. Regardless of age you should always remain teachable. Being out of school is no reason NOT to renew your mind. College may not be for everyone but neither is ignorance. Pick up a book, take a class, turn on the history channel! I know the news can be depressing at times but you should always be informed on current events. Knowing more about what department store has a sale this week than the going ons of your city/state/country is NOT cute. And be mindful of who you drop that "I don't do reading" line on. Its a turn-off for me personally.

Emotionally you have to make sure you are in shape. Holding on to baggage that hinders you is not a good look. Romantic relationships aren't the only ones that leave baggage. Get over your mommy issues, your daddy issues, your color complex, and your self-esteem killers. You need to be whole as a person before you even attempt to seriously date someone. You cannot be a Queen if you are hardened by bitterness, regret, pain, etc. Open your mouth and talk to someone or get a journal and get it all out. There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. Purge yourself of all the negative energy that is either lying dormant or running amok in your life.

Personality is BIG. Make sure you are portraying the kind of characteristics that are royal. Character is very important. It is the essence of who you are. You can be a quiet person or a very sociable person but you still want to be of good character. Be humble, respectful, and always walk in love. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Just because you are a Queen it doesn't mean you are perfect. It just means you are perfect in your imperfections. When you know who you are others will want to know you as well.

Spirituality is complex. If you are interested in meeting someone who is a God-fearing man then you need to be someone who would be the kind of person they would be interested in. Showing up at Church every Sunday is not the end all be all. You can sit through an entire service not soaking in the word but taking in the sights wearing a outfit that would make the devil himself blush. Jesus should be your first love. When you get to know our God you truly find out who YOU are. Read your bible, pray, meditate on the Word. Praise and Worship God for all he has done for you. A good friend of mine said Prayers go up and Blessings come down. You'd be surprised who and what you become blessed with.

All in all each one of these attributes should be something you want for yourself. Be recognized as the Queen you are and be treated as such. But the first person to treat you royally is yourself. No one will respect you if you don't care to respect yourself. Again: ONLY a Queen is good enough for a King. If you want to be with Court Jesters/Dukes/Earls by all mean keep half stepping. But if you expect a King BE a Queen.

Knowing God Personally

Most of us work in offices day in and day out. We come in say our hellos, occasionally catch a bite of lunch together and then say our goodbyes at the end of the day. Sometimes we may even run into each other in the street and when asked we say "Oh that's so and so from work."

But we don't know these people. We know OF them and at most we know them on a very surface level. We don't know their history, what brings them joy or what grieves them to their soul. Now please don't misunderstand me. We do connect with a few people at work or at school but not everyone. When they are discussed outside of the confines of work/school/etc. we say we know them. When in actuality we know OF them.

This is parallel to the relationship some have with God. If you ask them if they know Him they'll say yea I know God when in actuality they know OF Him. To get to know God you need to know His word. To truly saturate and meditate on God's word is one of the easiest ways to get to know Him. Going to Church and having fellowship with other believers is another way you can do this as well. All of this should be done in conjuction with pursing a personal relationship with Him.

Some will say God is everywhere so all of that 'extra-ness' is not necessary. But again you may see your co-worker everyday and not know s/hr harbors suicidal thoughts. You may see your neighbors children everyday and not know that they are being sexually abused. You may see your classmates every day for years and not know the highs and lows of their lives beyond the classroom.

If you truly want to KNOW God start with his Word. You find the Bible daunting? Try reading a different translation. I have the NIV (New International Version) that I take to service and Bible Study. But I use The Message Bibleto read at my leisure because it is written the way we talk in the 21st century. Go to a Church service and soak up the message He has passed to the ministry. And spend time with Him through prayer and meditation. Some find prayer daunting as well but all it is at its most basic form is talking to God. How else can you get to know someone if not by talking to them? And don't be an alligator (big mouth with no ears); don't spend all your time talking spend some time listening as well. Meditate on His word, the message you receive through Church and/or bible study, and that which you hear from the Holy Ghost.

In this way you can truly say with confidence the next time your asked 'Do you know God?': Yes! Continuously strive to get to know Him even better as time passes. We are constantly revolving as people but God is the same today as he was yesterday and as he will be tomorrow. The more you get to know him the more you begin to know yourself. As you well know the best way to understand the creation is by knowing the creator. And while your at it, try to get to know your colleagues, classmates and neighbors too.

Somethin' Special's 22 Favorite Dating Rules

As I am a reformed serial dater/ dinner whore/ movie whore, etc. I have decided to compile some of my favorite dating rules for the good of all daters everywhere. Hope you enjoy.. Date long and prosper!!

#1 Remember his/her name after initial contact. Seems like a no-brainer but I've seen it happen. Heck I'm guilty of it...

#2 If you met online (its 2009 people give in!) converse with them for at least a week or even two before giving them your #. It’s easier to dodge some one's email than their phone call.

#3 Prior to knowing each other for over 3 months Text should NOT be your main vehicle of conversation. Texting every so often isn’t bad but passing messages back and forth all day everyday with nary a date or phone call in a week is juvenile. You aren't a teenager grow up and pick up the damn phone!

#4 If you are the person who proposed the date YOUR paying. Girl or Guy doesn't matter. We're in a recession everybody has bills to pay and if your broke there are many great FREE dates you can propose (THAT blog coming soon I see people need help in this department). If going dutch wasn’t established prior to the outing do not be shocked when given the side eye when asking for your dates half. In fact don’t be shocked when they excuse themselves and walk out of the venue.

#5 If your best friend is of the opposite sex slip this into conversation within the first 2 weeks. Better to find out their views early on the concept of male and females being able to have a platonic friendship.

#6 Don't bring them around your friends and family until you are considering claiming them. Before that time it is too soon. If you don't last and they stay friends with whomever you introduced them to there's a good chance of running into him/her at your cousin's son's bar mitzvah.

#7 DO introduce your new lady/male friend to your friends and family eventually for two reasons (a) These are the people that know you best. They'll be able to tell if s/he will be able to take you at your worse. When you’re raging or crying snot all falling out your nose and all. They may surprise you. (b) No one wants to be anybody’s secret date. If dude/chick isn’t willing to show you off they aren’t worth your time.

#8 Whether you've just begun dating or you've been together for a significant amount of time DO NOT go clubbing with them unless rules have already been established. If you’re a wall flower and they could dance circles around M. Jackson chances are your not the only person that will want to get close. Man, if they can move like Tito Jackson someone will want to get close. It’s the club people come out to dance and have a good time… well some people do.

#9 Once you've established exclusivity its a good look to switch your status on those pesky social networking sites. Quit your groaning! It'll save you from petty arguments later on about the fact that your status says your single and you’ve been with them for six months now.

#10 Your house is not a first date spot. It may not even be a 2nd-10th date spot depending on who the potential is. Whats that you say? Your culinary skills are sick and it'll impress them? Pack a picnic basket and leave the MTV-like cribs tour for another day!

#11 Per Rule #5 NEVER encourage your significant other to drop their good friend of many years because they are of the opposite sex. If they listen it shows a lack of loyalty; also they may resent you later. If they don't listen you might forever be the sworn enemy of that friend. Your best bet is to get to know the offending individual and figure out if they have any sneaky motives. Trust your partner enough to know the difference. Implying that they have had said friend around them for so long and they only want to get into their pants undermines their intelligence. Even if it IS true you shouldn’t be the one to tell them it’ll only look like your jealous.

#12 Once you receive a networking site friend request from said potential DO NOT cyber stalk this person! Jokingly dropping hints that you saw how many 'gifts' they got today or how funny the joke was that I wrote on another random person’s wall is not cute. In fact its grounds for me to de-friend you immediately *insert blank face here*

#13 On a first date do not utter any of the following terms: ‘Safe Food’, ‘Bubble Guts (or any variation of the word)’, ‘My Ex’, ‘When we get married’, ‘My mother/father would love you’ ‘I voted for McCain and/or Bush’, etc. There are several more but these to me top the list.

#14 Though some believe bringing up religion is a no-no I disagree. If God is a big part of your life put it out there before the first date during those phone conversations. No I didn’t say start quoting scriptures and preaching fire and brimstone; slipping it into conversation by saying something like: “God-willing I’ll get that promotion. My Pastor reminds us every Sunday to speak things into existence.” Also on the flip side if you’re a satanic worshipper that is something they may want to know prior to you taking them to the rave where chicken blood rains from the ceiling in between the bands sets.


#15 On the flip side of #9 don't put In a Relationship/Its Complicated/Married/Engaged/Swinging if you the only people your dating is your friends and family. We are not in kindergarten anymore. Who still pretends to have a significant other anymore? Is this person still eating paste too? No self-respecting potential will take you seriously if you have it up that you are in any sense of the word taken.

#16 If you have photos that could potentially be argument provoking un-tag yourself on these networking sites. Whether you just met or you guys are heading down the aisle soon these photos though innocent can cause many a problem.

#17 Whatever is in your potentials email/voicemail/snail mail/text inbox, etc. is none of your damn business. DO NOT go searching through their things when they get up to use the rest room. What is in the dark will come to light. And that’s NATURAL light. You are not a detective point your flashlight elsewhere.

#18 After receiving 'the digits' your initial contact should not be thru text. I cannot stress this enough. Text messaging though fun when used for evil is.... well evil. Initial contact should be made by phone. Texting me to find out if I can call you or vice verse just lets me know you ate lead paint as a child. Pick UP the phone and call.

#19 Know your wireless carrier!! Some of you may not know that Verizon customers have a beep at the end of their ring when someone calls them and they are on another call. By not answering that call and then hitting the caller back later saying you were sleep, lost your phone, with your sick grandma makes you a KNOWN liar. You could of been on a business call or conversing with someone else your dating and you were unable to click over. That's fine (don't SAY that). But leave it as "I'm sorry I missed your call I was on the other line". In the beginning this is fine... once you guys are dating exclusively you may want to tell whoever your on the phone with to hold on so you can click over to tell your boo that you need to hit them right back. Either way they know your on the phone don't let your carrier tell on you.

#20 It is to be assumed that when you met the potential you already had a full team of potentials. 5 of whom are in the game a couple bench warmers and possibly even a 'towel boy'. This is none of their business. Your only dating. They do not own the rights to be the only player on your team until they can prove they can play the role of every player on the team by their self. Consider this a Dating Don't Ask Don't Tell policy.

#21 When calling a potential leave a message if they do not pick up. Continuously calling their phone and never leaving a message will get you on the block list. Most of you live in NYC if you use Mass transit so we do not receive a missed call because we are underground. Even so for you to say "I called you mad times you never returned my call." and having never left a message seems idiotic; which will conclude to YOU having idiotic tendencies. And really... who wants to date an idiot?

#22 Reserve giving your facebook friendship to those you've just met trying to holla at you for at least 2 months after you converse with them. They can find out about your little idiosyncrasies later....


Now these are not the extent of all the little things one should keep in mind when navigating your way through the dating scene. These are just a few of my favorites! See any up there that you think need to be added as well?

Gay Marriage- Guest Post

**Admin Note: So I decided to play hooky this week and allow some one I know who is almost if not more opinionated than I am bless you with their thoughts. Please feel free to check out the post which though I don't completely agree with it, it still gave me something to think AND laugh about. Enjoy!**

Well it's really hard to pinpoint just how people really feel about Gay Marriage. I'm a man who usually has no problem letting people know my opinion on things, and even my opinion isn't a stern one, it's not really set in stone. Here's what I do know:

Marriage as a holy sanctuary (not sure if that's the word, institution i guess works a bit better) is pretty much dead. No offense to those reading this who are married, who got married in a church with the white dress and the cake and the party and the bouquet and the whole shebang. Of course there's still people who do that, and a lot, in fact i would say you are the majority of the weddings that go on. However, while you are doing the whole story book wedding, with the vow readings and the people crying and all that, there's someone who drove to Las Vegas and got married to their "spouse" without even getting out of their car (chapelsoflasvegas.com). This happy couple is, by law, just as married as you, and spent less than $300 (that's a good @$$ deal if you ask me); you probably spent that much on the shoes that go with your dress.

Aside from the elopers who have run off to get married and didn't invite anyone, there's also the people who get married in city hall. Now they separated church and state a long time ago, and at the base of it all, marriage now is a legal matter, filing joint tax returns and other junk like that. You can go with your spouse and get married in City Hall (as now made famous by Sex and the City the movie) for the right price of like $40 (now THAT is a deal!) with all your IDs ready.

These are two ways that pretty much "take the piss" out of marriage, it makes it kind of difficult to still consider your fancy shamancy wedding doesn't it? Oh it doesn't? You still wanna get the whole nine yards wedding with the huge party and the open bar (if it's not an open bar I'm not coming, simple)? OK, well consider THIS then: 50% of marriages nowadays fail within the first 2 years.

What does fail mean in this situation? It means divorce, yea I said it, DIVORCE. Let's think about it, how many people do you know whose parents are still together? There's a really good chance there aren't that many, i for one can only think of a few, my parents included. And the weird thing about that is, these people aren't even our generation! Our generation gets divorced even more! I was driving around the other day and saw a sign for a divorce lawyer, he was offering great prices to get divorced, not to mention, you can get divorced without the spouse's signature. WHAT! So he or she can be out of a marriage without even knowing! This is the society we live in folks...

OK so the institution, the holy one, is now out the door: it's not holy anymore, it's just a legal thing, and chances are you're gonna get divorced anyways (2 years is actually a lot shorter than 'til death do us part' most times, trust me, i looked it up). So let's say, just for argument's sake, it's just a legal thing, getting tax incentives and blah blah, and just for kicks, we'll say the people are in love, why can't two dudes get to do the same thing? Truthfully speaking i think its really stupid for people to Vote on whether someone can get married or not...i feel like we should be using our votes to decide real matters, and not whether people can get married or not.

Now i understand why the nay-sayers are complaining. I do. They don't think two men or two women should get married because it's the opposite of a holy thing, marriage being the union of a man and woman. And you know what, you're right. Originally, marriage was a holy union between a man and a woman, which I think, even if you get married in a drive-thru, still holds true. So don't let them get married in a church then, that seems fair. No one gets married in a church anymore anyways, that's so 2003. If you're a person who doesn't want gay people to marry, think about this, what is going to happen to YOU if two women you don't know get married? You're not going to the wedding (you're not invited), so what's the problem? I honestly don't have time to worry about what everyone else is doing, the way I figure it, if it doesn't hurt me in anyway, do your thing. This is 2009, the only people who wanna get married are gay anyways!

By Omni

Subway (And Bus) Series- No Bumpa Watching

There is an abundance of information that comes from riding the rails. Subway rails that is. You can learn to break dance as there is usually a showing at least two times a commute. You learn about the existence of different musical instruments. I didn't know the sounds two newspaper filled plastic bags could make until I rode the E train and came across a very talented musician. And riding the train can qualify you to be a linguistics major. My commute from Ocean Hill section of Bklyn to East side of Harlem has gifted me with the ability to curse someone out in 7 African dialects, Korean, Yiddish, Spanish, and Polish if the situation ever presented itself.

One thing I have not learned though is why its OK for me to miss my train because the guy in front of me going down the steps is far more concerned with looking at the behinds of the women who are going up the stairs. It happens so often I'm sure you see it and don't consciously take it in. Spectators on the platforms of differing races, ages, and even genders slow down my commute regularly to gawk at some one's behind. I've even seen a conductor or two watch a lady sway her hips instead of those monitors that let's them know the doors are indeed clear to be closed. *insert blank face here*

Now please don't get me wrong. I like to look as well. But I am considering a No Bumpa Watching policy during rush hour. I seriously think the implementation of this policy could shave at least 15 minutes off of my commute. That's enough time for me to grab a small Tropicana Coolata from Dunkin Donuts AND a Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Mcgriddle from Mickey Dees. While still making it to work in time to check the comments on my facebook status that I updated during my transfer to the 4 train at Fulton street.

I think my biggest issue is for the life of me I cannot seem to understands man's fascination with a female's behind. Not only in the subway have I witnessed this phenomenon. I've witnessed grown men walk into walls, poles, and parked vehicles attempting to catch a glimpse of some 'bottom in di road'. And I'm sure if there was a study done the statistics would be staggering with the findings of the number of motor vehicle accidents that occur each year through Bumpa Watching. It is an epidemic that is not only poisoning my commute it is also ruining my walk TO the subway. This heinous over indulgence of the appreciation for the female body is wrecking rush hour commutes everywhere. From the Social Worker Uptown, the Financial Analyst Midtown, to the Waiter downtown; no one is safe.

Now we may not have been able to stop the fare hike, or the cut of the subway red vest attendants, or even the cut of over 10-20 bus routes citywide but THIS battle we must prevail. So please people the next time you ride the subway during rush hour when you see a shorty with a behind that entices you.... Please think of me and enforce the No Bumpa Watching policy. Its not only for my punctual arrival to and from work but also for your safety.

The Ties That Bind...

So I mentioned a little under a month ago that I was going off of my dating hiatus. I actually hadn't gone on a date until recently and I found it to be... Interesting to say the least. I was anxious and off center. Your girl Special had to do a prayer before she walked out the front door; literally head bowed hand clasped at my front door. I asked God for guidance and strength and of course protection. I also asked him for the ability to have my true self shine through above all my jitters. Ask and ye shall receive. I had a good time but there were some negatives and positives about the evening. There was one thing in particular that gave me pause; or rather the lack of one thing.

I didn't get that feeling. What feeling? THAT feeling. The feeling of connectivity. I believe we are tripod beings (body, mind, and spirit). I think we connect with each other, as people, on one of these levels. I've noticed in my history of dating I've always connected with the person on one of those levels in order to consider moving forward. Its usually something you pick up on BEFORE you even go out on that first date. With this recent guy I definitely have felt something mind wise but not necessarily a connection of the mind.

With the last person I considered dating we definitely connected on the body level early on in getting to know one another via the telephone. No, we were not engaging in any kinky phone conversation or what some like to call phone boning. We could be discussing world peace or the effects of eating a lot of grapes and there was sexual chemistry sizzling ready to pounce at the slightest provocation. When we finally hung out it was in the very air we breathed. Sexual energy was very thick.

I've also had instances where I've connected with someone with my mind. I'd say we had mental intercourse (not so eloquently lol). We could sit and talk for hours on end. Giving and taking information and having our minds expand. Smart is so sexy to me. I absolutely love connecting with someone mentally. Like the body connection the mind connection has happened often.
The spirit connection has happened once. If you've been a follower of my blog I think you can guess who that was. The connection of the spirit is so deep, so intense, it can blow your mind. Its like meeting someone and your souls recognize each other. Your mind and your body struggle to understand what's going on and get acquainted while your spirit interacts with an old friend. The draw is so strong and instantaneous your body and mind can't help but follow suit (sometimes reluctantly) after awhile.

One of my favorite parts about the connecting of the souls is the ability to fax the person. Faxing (a term I came across in a book. Psychics supposedly use it) is when you think of someone and they call. I'm sure this has happened to some of you a couple of times. I know West Indians usually say when this happens the person will live a long time. When there is a connection of the spirit it happens so frequently it amazes even the most hardened skeptics. I can remember times where I literally said call me and the phone would ring. It got to a point where we would call each other and jokingly say 'U were faxing me?' After the other one picked up the phone.
In times of need it happens as well. When something is wrong and I need assistance and I'm not sure who to call that person seems to magically become available. I usually get a random 'how are you' text/phone call. This currently rings true so loudly now when I'm not currently with said person. I'll get a fax and I'll fight it tooth and nail. Later on that week I may be speaking to that person and I'll find out something that was happening when I got that feeling to call them. Or recently when I refused to give in to the urge for a week or so to get their opinion on something that weighed on my mind. At least 4 days out of that week said person msg'd me and told me that they had me on the brain and could I get out of their mind. Even confessing that they even thought they saw me on the street one day. I denied any involvement till I finally sucked it up a week later and spoke to them about what weighed on my mind. To which they promptly shouted in relief that they knew it was something and they weren't going crazy. It can be frightening sometimes with its weirdness but I've chosen at this point to stop trying to understand it.

The problem though is that: I'm not with this person (and the connection is STILL there! But could you believe that isn't even the problem! Or is it?). We connected so well and we didn't work out. And now I am forced to know of this connectivity and bend to the realization that it is rare and may never happen again. If that doesn't suck monkey balls I don't know what does! Maybe if I met them when I was in my late 40s and 50s I could continue dating in ignorance not knowing of its many splendors. But I didn't and I can't and I'm forced to wonder if I can date someone without the connection.

Two close friends of mine a guy and a girl co-sign that it is rare and that I may not experience it again. But they also say it isn't needed. They remind me that the relationship didn't last. My thinking is of course "Duh! I know" and understand this BUT the reason the relationship didn't last was because of things that can change. I could meet someone now who has these attributes and there is no connection but would I be happy? I'm not sure. Its like meeting someone who treats me good and I like that has a Jheri curl and jacked up teeth. I can send them to the dentist and barber and be good. Those are changeable things. To this they replied the connection may be build-able; to which I negated. I think its either there or its not. And that is strictly speaking when there is a spirit to spirit connection. Body and Mind can be fleeting; I think because it is part of the human side of us. The guy that I had the body connection with is no longer on my roster. Once I found out things about him that turned me off they literally turned me off. I ran into him a week later and didn't get that feeling. Whereas the spirit is much more grounded as it connects the super natural part of us. I found out things about the guy I have the spirit connection with and we're still connected though I can physically walk away from him. That kind of connection I don't think can come over time; though I could be wrong. Its only happened to me once so I'm no expert. I don't know if I'd be willing to pretend as though its mere existence was questioned just to be without it. Could I date someone and not feel its lack of existence? I feel like I'd be eating my food minus the seasoning. I'd eat the whole plate because I need food to live but the entire time deep down I'd be thinking of meals that tantalized all five of my senses at once. A meal that left me not only full but revitalized. Not sure if I want to just eat for life's sake... Is that really living?