30 Weeks 3 Days 22 Hours.....

Sometimes music can take you to a place you wish you weren't. Some songs make us happy, energized, mad, sad, angry, etc. Its a blessing and a curse. I mentioned once that I was able to get through finals in undergrad and grad school with the latest soca music on BLAST. I'd even jump up in intervals and bust a wyne. It energized me and kept me up and alive through late night study sessions. And other times it can pull me so low. Once I sat in my big queen size bed and bawled like someone died after hearing No Air (Chris Brown and Jordan Sparks), Heaven Sent (Keyshia Cole), and I Need You Bad (Jazzmin Sullivan) back to back. Seriously it brought me to a place I wasn't even aware I could go. I was in a relationship at the time and I think at that point I realized I was going to have to let dude go. Now I think back to those nights and I laugh. I laugh at me crying and I laugh at me bustin the wyne.

30 Weeks 3 Days 22 Hours...........

I've always been aware of the kind of power music can have over me. Its why I believe that dancing around my living room with the Beach Boys' Good Vibration on at full blast when I'm sad is the ultimate pick me up. Its why I was such a good dancer when I performed. I let the music move me. Granted when I'm on the dance floor at a party I let it do the same thing but its not the same as being on stage. (FYI I don't go out to meet anyone I go to get my dance ON under the lights base PUMPIN But I digress...). Its why I limit the amount of negative music I listen to.

30 Weeks 3 Days 22 Hours........................

Some songs though... Some songs have me realizing how human I am. Having me realize how week the flesh can be. Having me wish I had my Pastor on speed dial. Have me hiding things from myself. Have me wishing I deleted people's numbers out my phone. Have me reliving memories I long wish I'd forgotten. Have me thinking I'd be having a little more to ask forgiveness for come Sunday.

30 Weeks 3 Days 22 Hours.......................................


Song is only 1 minute and 48 seconds long but it moves me so. I won't do anything I'd regret immediately after but... Lord... I am human (and a child of god) and all I can think is...

I miss sex..... **Bites lower lip**

30 Weeks 3 Days 22 Hours and counting..................................