Single Sisters Speak Out

Hey people... You know what time it IS!! *starts drum roll* BLOG OF THE MONTH!!

This month's blog pick is Singe Sisters Speak Out (http://singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com/ ). This Blog is written by Four lovely ladies and one Male (Resident Male advisor). There are actually a lot of Blogs out there with more than one author.. Will Look Deeper Not Away every be one of them DOUBT IT!!! But I am thinking about starting another blog with some friends.. But I digress... The Blog gives you an eclectic view on The Modern Life of the Single Sister. They talk about any and everything; religion, dating, sex, fashion, etc. Each day a different writer throws up a post and usually it tantalizes my mind in such a way that i can't help but continue to come back for more. The different authors are: Jaclynn, NickiSunshine (My personal favorite), Anissa aka Cuzzo, Holly GoLightly aka Rockstar Holly, and Peyso the lone male.

Why I Love this Blog:

(1) They keep it real. I like the fact that they don't mind discussing taboo things. If any of you read the Confession Friday entry I wrote about my own Smashin the Homies incident I felt buoyed by this blog to even confess that.. Special.. smashed di homies.... Plus I can appreciate all things real and these ladies come correct.

(2) They interact with you. Some blogs have so many readers. Once people start jumping off on the comments they authors don't get a good chance to throw something in the comments themselves. They true.. but ehh they don't always do as good a job. On this site they are commenting along with you and its a group effort.. and that brings me to another thing I love about the blog.

(3) Its a team. They are all commenting on each others blogs and they look out for one another. One of the authors actually did an entry directed at a reader who seemed to consistently have negative comments about one persons entries. I didn't think it was mean or hateful (I did laugh at said readers expense Father Forgive Me!) but she let it be known that it was noticed and wasn't cool.

(4) They have a Bible Study.Church Notes section!! You guys know I love me some Jesus. I've been going from blog to blog checking out people's entries and a lot of the time he isn't mentioned so I was very happy to see some mention of my man JC on this site.

(5) They have a resident Male! Peyso is whassup. His entries I always find insightful and I definitely appreciate a different perspective. As females we sometimes tend to go to our female friends when we get stuck on a relationship issue when often more times than not we should probably get a guys opinion. Also.. it gives a window into the male mind.

Some reasons why you may not agree with my Blog choice for Blog of the month:

(1) A resident Male? Some chicks I've spoken to don't think there is a need for a male on a 'Single Sisters' site.. Hey everyone is allowed their own opinion.. But.. to you guys I say: Stop loving your ignorance.. It isn't lovable!

(2) They don't update their Church Notes enough for my liking.. I'd love to see more entries in that section. But then again.. who am I really to talk? lol My (Not so) Daily (But still) Bread section needs some refreshing.

(3) Explicit language... Yea they curse sometimes.. In the last year or so my eyes and ears have become sensitive to explicit language and I'm not a big fan of it.

All in all i think it is a Fab-tastic blog and if you get a chance to check it out (www.singlesistersspeak.wordpress.com ) I think you'd enjoy it as much as I do. And as always If you know of a blog that is fab-tastic please let me know (SomethinSpecialBlog@gmail.com). I'll check it out and who knows it could be next month's Blog of the Month

Shakin like a leaf....

So... I'm sittin at the receptionist desk at my job right now... Yes I know what time it is... Covering some one's shift and so I'm here until midnight.... And I am feeling very freaked out right now.

I come from the 90s of East Flatbush. I'm not sure if any of you guys know Brooklyn very well or even NYC but its not the safest place to grow up. I have memories of my younger sister and I wailing in the street afraid to walk the 2 blocks home from elementary school because someone was shooting around three o clock. Memories of the friendly drug dealers on the block telling me and my friends to go in side real quick while they settle some 'business' and hearing shots fired. There was even one time I distinctly remember the police breaking into our backyard to chase a suspect who hopped the fence and possibly hiding there. Banging down our back door that lead to the back door at 3-4am waking me up out of my dreams of lolly pops and gummy bears and rainbows....

Needless to say growing up in the 90s was not a bed of roses. But we survived and I thank God for that everyday. I know some people who didn't fair as well. It isn't so bad there now. And I know some folks still cringe at the thought of entering my neighborhood but I walk with no fear there. Its gotten 10xs safer than it EVER was when I was growing up and I walk those streets at 3AM/PM with no fear anymore. But right now... RIGHT NOW I don't want to step one FOOT outside the door.

8PM this evening someone was shot outside of my job. They didn't die. They got shot in the ankle.. they didn't die or anything but... Its got me ridiculously nervy. I mean this wasn't no regular fight I hear a shot and that's it. No I'm talking cops got the whole corner roped up and Detectives up in here questioning me in case I saw anything. I was ALREADY completely flustered having had to work a double without any notice and giving medication (my first time) making sure I didn't give the wrong meds to the wrong person all that stuff. Just completely flustered and unnerved already only to have some shots rang out.

Maybe I spent to much time in Smallbany (undergrad and grad years in upstate NY) or even my new neighborhood which is also notorious but I hear kids squealing more than any other noise that has made me soft. But I am so jumpy right now and nervy I mean I won't front I'm the only staff in the building right now and it buggs me out to the point that a tear or two might have dropped.... ok maybe more than that. I'm on pins and needles... Needed to write.. and as I close this blog I feel a little bit better... But there is no way I'm showing up at 9am tomorrow morning since I know I won't reach home till 230 on the subway. And you better believe sistah girl is gettin in a cab to take me down to midtown to get on a train there. I rather spend a couple dollars rather than walk the 3 blocks to the subway from here... Was gone for a minute.. Now ya girl is back so sorry its with this unfortunate tale.... G'Nite.

Confession Friday...

Since I'm confessing I might as well admit I almost sent in a application for 'For the Love of Ray J' to fulfill some childhood crush. I quickly came to my senses and deleted the email that was sent to me by a friend. I don't watch for the Love of Ray J. I saw one episode weeks ago cut off the TV half way through the show and got on my knees and thanked God that I didn't send in an application. I can't under or overstand for that matter WHY people put themselves through this madness. These 'celebrities' are trying to reawaken their careers and these contestants are looking for their 15minutes of fame.... But it doesn't seem worth it. That aside, I couldn't help but hear about how Danger 'Smashed the Homies'. At first I had NO idea what people were talking about but after reading a zillion statuses on facebook, BBMsngr and blogs (one of which gave me the idea for this entry. Shout out to SingleSisterSpeak.wordpress.com) across the web I realize what happened. And I realized I too... had smashed the homies.

Let me explain. Back in my pre-celibate days I 'messed around' *see physical intimacy with a smidgen of actual dating and a pinch of affection* with a guy for a couple months. I genuinely liked dude and would have contemplated seriously dating him except I was still in school and relationships were not my priority. I was focused on graduating but I still appreciated a date, a phone call, and... u know, every so often. During this relationship the guy and I hung out whenever I went home for a break and once he even came to my school. But we weren't serious. I still dated other guys without getting physical with them. I had a rule of having at least 2-3months between someone I decided to get physical with. If I could help Maury letting me know the paternity of my future children then I was taking it! But I digress...

One guy I was seeing I actually liked a lot. I found myself really feeling him and started cutting off the other guys I was dating. I was enjoying my blossoming relationship and the dude I'd been messing with had been demoted to just a friend. I was doing great until I found out from a good friend of mine that she'd seen the guy I used to mess with and the guy I was currently dating run into each other and engage in conversation at a party. Just my luck they were homies....

So after a mini heart attack I called up dude I was dating and mentioned that I noticed he knew dude I was messing with. Told him we were friends and we had dated at one point as well. Dude I was messin with said they weren't friends so much as good associates. I breathed a sigh of relief and continued conversation as though it wasnt of any importance. Later on when he became my significant other (SO) dude I used to mess wit did try to holla and I let him know I was currently in a relationship and with someone he was familiar with. I didnt tell him who the guy was until we after we broke up. It was the one and only time *that I know of * that Special smashed the homie.... Those degrees of separation seem to get smaller as I get older. We really are all connected... *shudder*

So please people do not misunderstand. Smashin of the homies can happen to anyone. Don't be so quick to judge. Someone with hoe-like tendencies like Danger and a self-proclaimed Good Girls like myself canget hit with a doozy from time to time. I'm not perfect and prior to my actually applying the word of JC to my life I could never be lumped in the same category as Danger but it did happen to me. I've confessed... you got something for me?

This one is for the Homies..

The last few days I have been given so much reinforcement of just how blessed I am. I have a really great set of friends and a family (extended and immediate) that is dysfunctional and more than any lady could ask for. I have just felt so much love in the lats week coming from so many different angles it has kept a constant smile on my face. Please do not get it twisted I do not need to know my worth from others to feel good about myself. But when you are able to get a glimpse of how God smiles down on you... man its giving a sistah warm and fuzzy feelings on the inside.

But more than my gratitude it has renewed my spirit to be the best friend, sister, daughter, cousin, soror, that I can be. Through out the last few days I've not been so blinded by my own happiness to notice the unhappiness of some very dear friends of mine. I can hear the crack in their voices and see the tears in their eyes when they speak even if they choose to think I don't. More than anything I get so much joy out of making the people I love feel special. Before being 'In Love' turned me into a me a sap I was already was 'Miz Sunshine'. Basically I have always been that kind of person that tried to be that ray of sunlight for people whenever possible. Reminding them that their glass isn't half empty but half full. Now that I'm saved though I realize it isn't even half full the cup runneth over.

This entry is for those friends. I want to remind them that regardless of any and everything that they are going through their cup indeed runneth over. Running and hiding doesn't solve any problems. You are stronger than you think and that strength will lead you through even the most harrowing of life's adventures. Do not sell yourself short. Call your own bluff and see what you are made of. God wouldn't put more on you than you can bear. Have faith and trust in yourself as he trusts in you to swim across the widest seas and climb over the tallest mountains. So dear friends in a nutshell I just want you to know: It's going to be ALRIGHT.

Over/Under-Estimations

I'm a big fan of the Simpsons. There is something about the show that has kept me hooked all these years. Even with my love for Family Guy I still hold a place in my heart for that yellow Family. I remember way back in the day whenever Bart did anything wrong he would say "The Devil made me do it!" I picked up the line whenever I got in trouble myself. As I've gotten older I stopped saying it but it seems a lot of others still do.

"The Devil is trying to steal my glory! The Devil is keeping me out of school! The Devil is turning everybody against me! The Devil is jacking up my weave, girl!" Seriously I've heard it all. Though I do believe he is crafty I sometimes think we give him far more credit than he deserves. Wait! Hear me out. I did an entry not to long ago about my love of Storms. Sometimes when we are in these storms or maybe even a time of transition we like to blame it on the Devil. Remember people some storms are sent by God himself. Don't give the Devil credit for something you may be doing to yourself or even a trial God has given you to help you grow. When we constantly blame the Devil we are giving him far more power than he has. And he won't correct you either. You didn't know? The Devil IS a liar! He will take all the credit for any wrongdoings without the bait of an eye.


And on the flip side of that we must also remember he DOES exist. Some people like to think he is dead and gone. Some may believe that he never existed (these people seem to think the same about God). But in the bible it tells us: The enemy will come to kill, steal, and destroy. Don't you dare forget that he IS real and he will be there to remind you of all your failures and past transgressions. He will gloat about all the times he tripped you up himself. And he will try to convince you that after all you've done and been through there is NO way the Lord could still love you. But like I said: The Devil is a liar! With all the tricks he pulls and the damage he has and WILL do we must arm ourselves against him.

Here are some ways we can arm ourselves and renew our minds so that we can recognize his handy work when he does try to throw our lives into a tail spin:


(A) Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and Savior. No relationship is more fulfilling... Trust Me!!

(B) Get a 4.0 in Kneeology: PRAY!! Get down on your knees, bow your head and pray people. Pray for blessings and protection for you and yours, for those you are yet to meet and for all our leaders and their council. Pray for the things you need and want. But most importantly pray in Jesus' name and have faith that God will hear and answer those prayers. Remember: God answers prayers in 3 ways: Yes, Not yet, and No, I've got something better.


(C) Get your daily bread: Read your bible EVERY DAY. Don't just read the word meditate on it. Absorb it like a sponge. Read the stories of Abraham, Joseph, Ester, etc. and learn from their testimony. And don't be afraid to share your own Testimony with others who may need to hear it. You can't have a testimony without being tested.

(D) Fellowship: No Wo/Man can grow in isolation. We need to fellowship with other believers. Strengthen your love and faith in the Lord through your relationship with them. When your faith is strong you make the Devil's job even harder. Go to church, check out a bible study group, get together with other believers and give God the Glory.


(E) The BIGGIE: Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

All of these things are vitally important in our walk with the Lord. I'm sure I missed a few so I encourage you to add some others in your comments. I struggle to do them all and you may too at times. Having a relationship with God doesn't bring perfection! It just recognizes that we can't do it alone. Have faith and keep pushing forward and it will get easier. And remember... The Devil is a Liar!

Happiness Is...

So I was working out last night. Gettin my strength training on, sweats all pouring down my face and I'm thanking God for the window blinds in my living room because I'm sure I look a mess all dat good stuff. After I wrap up my final stretch I go down stairs to my room to get ready for a hot shower. I grab a rubber band and put my hair in a ponytail grab my towel and hit the bathroom. As I stare at myself in the mirror as I brush my teeth before I hop in the tub I realize something..... My hair is long enough to be put into a ponytail!!


Granted the sides are sticking out but this is just so great I reward myself with doing my happy dance after I finish my shower. I started loc'n my hair mid August of 08 and I had less than half an inch on my head when I started. This Baby Rasta has become a Toddler and I'm so happy about it.

After I wrapped up my dance I couldn't help but laugh at myself in amazement of the things that bring me happiness. After thinkin about it for a minute I decided to list some of those things.... Feel free to list some of your own


Happiness is....

Enjoying the first ice cream cone from the ice cream truck in the summer (I never pay for my first cone of the summer)


Hearing my mom or siblings talk about how proud they are of me

Hearing my mom or dad say I love you before we hang up


Stealing kisses from my nephew

Wiping Birthday Cake off the side of my face.


Playing hide and go seek with my cousins

Enjoying a good read and a good sandwich outside the Cosi's at Union Square

Sitting in a empty movie theater cracking up at whateva movie I decided to check out alone after work.


That first dip on a roller coaster

That first flake of snow on the tip of my tongue


Knowing everything is going to be ok.

A peanut butter and jelly sammich!! Cut into a star hahaha

Dancing around my living room to the Beach Boys 'Good Vibrations'

Marinating....

Today is a Special Day for a Special Lady. She is strong, weak, stupid, intelligent, beautiful and sometimes she can be very ugly. Yes she is ME! And today is my birthday!! **insert my impersonation of Crank Yanker's Special Ed here** Its MY Birthday YAYYYYYYYYY Its MY Birthday YAAAYYYYYYYYYY! HAHA I always wanted to get that as a ringtone for my birthday but could never find it... But I digress..

Today I am 26 years wiser and am so grateful for all the family, friends, and enemies who have helped to shape me into the woman I am today. I am especially grateful to my mother/father/stepmother and siblings. They know enough about me to condemn me and choose to love me anyways. To those friends who are more like family who keep me strong and remind me of who I am when I sometimes forgot. And of course to my Heavenly Father for placing those special people in my life and for Him loving me unconditionally even when I thought myself unlovable. Without you I am nothing and will not be able to become anything. I love each and every one of you dearly and wishes peace, love, happiness, and blessing upon you every morning and night.

I know there are some people who don't really celebrate their birthdays. But I consider them to be extremely special. They ARE important. If not for this day you would not have graced the earth. You should take time to celebrate you being here alone. Give thanks to God, give thanks to your Parents, and give thanks to those around you who have helped you get to your age. It is a day to be celebrated and to not do so would be an injustice.

As I grow older every year I also make the choice to become wiser every April 9Th. Contrary to popularity age does not equate to wisdom. There are many a foolish elderly people walking this earth. Each year I try to move forward and make better strides than the year before. I allow myself to continue to 'marinate' so that one day I will be 'seasoned'. I hope all those who share this day (Hugh Hefner, My College Roommate's Mom, Jazzmin Sullivan, Keshia Knight-Pulliam etc.)and all those who have birthdays during this time are able to be enjoy their days to the fullest. And I need you to turn your speakers up high stand up and prepare to dance around the room as I give this gift to you:


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!